Archive | July 2012

Being On Your Guard

“When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” ~ James 1:13-15

I was thinking today about how quick we are to justify ourselves when it comes to sin. We really are. When you think about it, God doesn’t give us directives for the sake of His own power trip. His directions, His guidance, His mandates even, are all FOR OUR OWN GOOD. He gives them because He loves us. If God says ‘no’, it is probably a bad idea.

We go to great lengths to protect our physical and material well-being. When the sign in the shallow end says ‘no diving’, we don’t dive. Why not? Because we know we could get hurt and it’s a bad idea. When an email scammer asks for our social security number, we don’t give it. Why? Because we know we could get robbed or have tampered medical records, and it’s a bad idea. When we want to cross the street and there’s traffic, we don’t cross. Why? Because we know we could get hurt – it’s a bad idea.

We have an uncanny sense of self-preservation when it comes to these things. Yet spiritually, we repeatedly put ourselves directly in harm’s way. We tempt ourselves, we don’t hold our thoughts captive, we see no problem in self-justification when it comes to a sin we ‘want’ to commit. Why is our spiritual well-being less important than our physical? Isn’t the spiritual the one that’s eternal? Yes there’s forgiveness in God. That doesn’t mean we should go around taking advantage of Him.

We need to guard our spirituality the same way we guard our physical safety. We need to equate it with being literally in harm’s way. We need to grasp that concept and walk in it. I wonder how different our walks would look if we did? If you need prayer to stay on track, or if you have a testimony of righteousness paying off, I want to hear about it! So write to me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. God bless!

~Rebekah A

The Good Thing About Waiting

Jul30

So my boyfriend and I talked out our misunderstanding and although I’m not 100% sure I know what to do the next time something like that rolls around, I know he definitely knows my side of things. He’s so hard to read at times, not just because we’ve only been dating for a month now, but because he’s very private. Me, I’m an open book. What you see is often what you get with slight undertones of loving, joking sarcasm. He, however, cannot always be read and it thus I’m glad I listened when Jesus said to just wait.

Yesterday, we spent a pretty idyllic day going to church together in a city somewhat in the middle for us (2hrs for him, 1 for me) where the people recognized him from church camp (which was honestly very attractive to me that he was remembered for how he prayed with one of the members) then hanging out at a park until late

In the middle of the day we took a little mid-sunday nap and when we woke up I had a horrible pain in my left side. Given my training, I’m still convinced that it was a little kidney stone but praise God the pain hasn’t returned to the level it was yesterday although I am still a bit tender on that side. The most amazing part was that during that time he just held me while I hurt, then brought me to a gas station to get me some aspirin. He even opened the bottle for me when I couldn’t because I hurt so badly!

I don’t know if he is my Isaac/Boaz, but I am grateful for him in my life.

Jesus,

Thank You that when we just ask, You lead and guide us towards actions (or not acting) that are to our benefit. I thank You that listening to You brings all things to pass in time in the best outcome. I praise You Jesus that You’ve held me in storms in life and rejoiced with me in victories. I thank You that You’ve given me a man that currently is doing the same

I love You Jesus with all my heart,

Rebekah M.

Jesus Guides

Jul28

So somehow my boyfriend and I had a very big misunderstanding. It was to the point I was unsure why I was dating someone who would think like that.

As I continued to question things, I kept asking God to tell me what to do and He told me to just wait and see things through. Although the full explanation has yet to happen, things have occurred to counteract what I had thought. I’m sure we’ll talk it out soon but in the mean time I’m glad I didn’t do anything rash and ruin something good.

Thank You Jesus that when we seek Your wisdom, You give it freely. Thank You that we can count on You to guide our steps when we ask
I love You Jesus with all that I have.
Rebekah M.

Counting The Cost

Jul25

I recently had someone tell they they weren’t sure they could meet up with me because they had been spending a lot of money on gas lately in trips and weren’t sure if they wanted to spend even more to see me.

This makes me think of how good God is. He didn’t count the cost of the cross too great for our salvation. He didn’t think gapping the cavern between us and Him from sin as too much. He gave everything for us with no expectation of having anything returned. He gave it freely so that we might freely receive His salvation and grace. What a wonderful, generous, matchless God we serve!!!

Rebekah M.

Update: at church tonight I felt Jesus call me to redefine my walk with Him (i went to put “re-dedicate” and autocorrect put that instead and I like it!). Once again Lord, become the main and only thing for my life. I love You Jesus.

Birthday Reflection

Jul24

Today was my 28th birthday. In just over a month from now, it’ll be a year since I left everything I knew and moved to NY. I can’t help but think of all that God has shown me this past year – I have grown in Him so much. Yet, I still feel like something is missing. I have nothing definitive to show for this year. I’m in this season of expecting God to do great things, and getting small results, and needing to have faith in Him and trust Him anyway. I will be happy when this particular spiritual season is over, but I am excited to see where my walk goes from here.

I know I’m nowhere near perfect when it comes to my walk with God. But for today, I’m just grateful and happy to have Him!! I can’t wait to see what He does during this next year, and to see what I’ll be reflecting on next July when I turn 29!

Jesus, I thank You for being all that You are and all that You promise to be. I thank You for being with me every day and for bringing me to where I am today. I trust You with my life Jesus, and I lay it in Your hands. Whatever You may have in store for my life this year and for the path I take, I pray that my year would be spiritually abundant and that I’d continue to grow in You. I love You Jesus with everything I am and all that I have.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

My Soul

Jul23

The theme for yesterday’s services revolved around how our souls inherently want to do the things of God. We don’t say we gave in to our soul and slept with someone, we say we gave into our flesh. But how to quiet the flesh and the things of this world to allow our soul’s cry to be heard?

Jesus,
Help us to quiet everything but that which is of You. Use us, touch us, bless us with Your spirit and grace. I love You Jesus.
Rebekah M.

Not Of the World – But Still In It

Jul22

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” ~Romans 12:2

This is a touchy subject for many Christians. We like to keep ourselves separate from worldly, ‘heathen’ activities. We don’t like to go where spiritual filth and grit might rub off on us. Sure, we might pray for the homeless, or go somewhere like that specifically to minister, but when we aren’t doing planned ministry we avoid those places. We avoid people on subways who look different than us. We like our righteous, Christian, bubble and the spikes on that person’s hair might well pop it so we will keep our distance, thanks very much. We are fine preaching and ministering, but when we’re off the pedestal, brushing elbows with someone living in sin is as disdainful to us as a friendly chat with the devil himself.

I’ve been asking myself tonight if this is really what God intended for us. Jesus started His day in prayer, alone with His Father, grounding Himself in God’s word before starting out His day. But His day didn’t involve Him seeking like-minded people necessarily. There were no like-minded people. His day consisted of going to the worst places and shedding light on darkness. His day consisted of reaching people who were living in sin (not necessarily ill or down-on-their-luck people either), and giving them a change of heart. He shook everything that could be shaken, and He broke chains.
The thing is, He didn’t do it by staying in a temple, or staying in isolated prayer. He started in prayer, and moved in the world.

I think on some level we do a disservice to Jesus by separating ourselves so much. Yes, we are not of the world. We don’t have to be. Neither is the sun, and it still casts a more visible, brighter light than any earthly glow. We don’t have to be of the world in order to move in it and walk around in it. I think that’s the cool thing about having the Holy Spirit inside of us. We don’t have to view sin from afar, and then say ‘wait hold that thought while I find a church real quick’, and pray it through. With the Holy Spirit inside of us, we can walk amongst sin, and stay grounded in the righteousness God intended us to live by. The sun is not of the world, but it casts light on every part of it. In a lot of ways I feel like we’re called to do a similar thing. Not be of the world necessarily – sin is in the world, and our true citizenship is in Heaven. But we aren’t in Heaven yet. We were planted here. In order to bloom, we need to embrace where we are, without worrying about getting our hands (roots?) dirty.

I don’t have the answer to what the exact balance should be. I do know that Jesus walked among the ‘least of these’ without fear. I also know that we are inherently sinners. Yet, God has chosen to put Himself, in the form of the Holy Spirit – our perfect Advocate and Counselor – right inside of us. We, in all our imperfection, house something that priceless and precious. It’s a miracle. God’s not afraid of getting dirty from us. He loves us and embraces us. The world may be a dirty place, but it and all it’s citizens were still created by God and He loves it no less than He’d love a utopia. So I feel like it’s not our place to treat it any differently. We do need to utilize this Counselor we’re given, and walk with it so that we can stay on the right path for ourselves. But since we are given the compass to navigate through, why not embrace where we are and see where our light gets cast?

I certainly don’t have the answers, so feel free to weigh in either as a comment or by email at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

All Things In Him

Jul21

And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. ~ Colossians 1:17 KJV

And he is before all things, and by him all things are held together. ~ Colossians 1:17 NKJV

It sometimes feels like a struggle for my new boyfriend and I to find our way but it’s been interesting to see how things are playing out. We are so attracted to each other and so it creates a struggle to be good. I know, I know this coming from the girl who was all “not going to kiss again until my wedding day” but it seems that it’s sometimes a toss up between “I can’t wait to see you to hug you as we pray together” and “I can’t wait to see you and I hope I get a kiss!” And although I have some friends and family who read this and actually know who I am, I feel like transparency is important here (so I guess my parents are going to find this out this way unless I call them up and directly tell them…) for you the reader- so here it is: we kissed already. It was so wonderful that he told me he wouldn’t dump me if we didn’t kiss but that mixed with all the wonderfulness that he is combined to make it so that I failed in the “not kissing” thing.

So here I am, past the point of where I said I wouldn’t go but yet wondering… what does this mean? When you cross that line, even when it’s not technically a sin, does that mean it is a sin? I know His Word says to me it is because that was my conviction and yet here I sit, struggling, trying to find the balance since it’s not for so many people- why the unfair standard and now that I’ve failed does it still hold?

These are the truths I do know:

- He is forgiving and loves me

- His grace is sufficient to sustain me

- My new boyfriend and I do try to keep Jesus in the middle- he was sick and I just prayed for him over the phone not too long ago

And so here I sit, wondering where do I go from here. The struggle between higher standards and “living the norm.” When he doesn’t hold the same conviction where does that leave us? He’s still into Jesus and a good guy but how to bring it all together? Pray for me dear readers as I continue on this journey. More than once I’ve asked God if He wanted me to dump this guy since it would be easier (in certain respects) to just leave him so that I don’t have any temptation to go the wrong way when it comes to purity (even up to the higher standard of not kissing) and He keeps telling me that I have to “see things out.” That’s all He tells me. It’s frustrating but I just know that this journey with this new guy is definitely of Him… but are we going to stay in Him, bring each other down, or help each other go higher in Him?

Jesus,

Here I sit in Panera asking You now to stay strong in my relationship with my new boyfriend. We are so easily distracted by how attracted we are to each other but I know that we both want You in this. His attraction for me grows every time I talk about You or we pray together. I see him as a gift from You. He feels like a Boaz for my life, but it’s amazing just how much I feel like I oscillate between You and potentially falling away when I’m with him. It reminds me every time that I’m human- I’m fallible. I thank You for giving us both strength to not fall into that sin but we need You to help us continue on that road when we meet up again next week. Lord, protect us as we learn more about each other from falling into things we shouldn’t. Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion but I don’t think I am… it’s little slips at a time that can cause people to unknowingly fall down into a cavern. Help us Jesus- I want to continue to keep loving You with everything within me. Let it be that if we keep You the center, You will hold us together.

Rebekah M.

My Heart’s Desire

Jul19

I was thinking today about all the things I want – not material things necessarily, but things like a master’s degree, and financial security in general, to be a wife and mother – the big things. Some are even things I want in theory but in reality are part of my Babylon (we all have them. I first posted about mine here). I realize that sounds superficial. Sorry. But I did it anyway. As I was going through a mental list, I was talking to a friend online. He is an atheist/agnostic, in fact he loathes Christianity, and he has a terminal illness called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). There is no treatment (other than some treatments for the symptoms) and there is no cure. It is 100% fatal. It’s a progressive disease where the muscles of the body slowly weaken, first the limbs and then muscles of the heart and lungs. A person with DMD loses their ability to walk around age 10. Following that, they lose their ability to feed themselves, to write, to type. Around age 20, they lose their ability to breathe and start using a ventilator to help them. Around age 25, they are expected to die. The friend I was talking to today is 44. I consider it a miracle. I’m not sure what he would call it.

Anyway, as I was talking to him I realized that most of all I want to heal people in Jesus’ name. I really really do. I have been driven to tears in prayer many times, just asking God for this. I don’t want to be one of those traveling ministers who goes around and has huge ‘healing’ conferences. I just want to look at someone in a wheelchair, with a disease that has a 100% fatality rate, and see them with nothing but God’s heart and God’s love. From His love, walking in His love and the authority given to me as His heir, I want to tell that person to get up and walk. And they would. And they’d be cured. Not because I want credit for it….honestly, who but God could orchestrate such a miracle? I wouldn’t even try to glory-grab on that one. I want to heal because I know the lifetime of pain and being stigmatized and outcast and sometimes even institutionalized that such an illness brings with it. I want my friends to know true love and true peace beyond a shadow of a doubt. I want them to experience God on such a powerful level as a miracle healing. How great of a revelation of God’s love would that be?

Thinking about it, I remembered a day I was praying with my prayer partner, and we were praying about something else, but all of a sudden she prophesied over me that someday I would do exactly this. I would heal in Jesus’ precious and holy name. I hadn’t told her that was my dream. She saw it and prophesied it out of nowhere. Thinking about it today, I was once again moved to tears. I realized how much every material thing paled in comparison, if just one such healing miracle would take place. I realized how much I was holding to that. I thought of how Jesus’ disciples could heal people with their mere shadows. Their shadows. Do you know how close to Jesus they must have been for that to happen?

And with that, I suddenly had my true desire. I want to walk with Jesus that closely. To have Him be that big a part of my heart, to walk out in that pure of a love for my fellow man. Jesus, today I desire You with every fiber of my being. I don’t know exactly what I need to do to claim that prophecy and get to the point of healing someone. But I do thank Jesus with everything I have for giving me that priority check today, and bringing me back to that place of running after Him. The world is so temporary. I have no business getting bogged down in it. When I can take it or leave it as temporary, and depend solely on my Creator and Savior, that is when I become not just heaven-bound, but a citizen of heaven. That is when I can claim my inheritance in Christ and do works in His name. I can’t be worried about how quickly I can find a job. He knows what I need. He will give it. I just need to seek Him, and the rest will follow. Jesus I thank you every day that You are such a great and powerful and gracious God. That you see not only my immediate needs, and desire to provide for me, but that you see my heart’s desire as well. That when the time is right, you WILL use me as You see fit. Jesus help me to press in to you today. You are the lover of my soul. Help me to keep you in my sights as not only the presence I feel around me, the guiding spirit helping me, but as the true desire of my heart. I love You, Jesus, with everything I am and all that I have.

Be praying for me that I seek Him as strongly as I need to, and that I walk in His will for me. Anything you need prayer over? Write to me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. God bless!!

~Rebekah A

Fears

Jul18

Today God did a work in me. Last night I had a talk with my boyfriend and I was crying on the phone with him. I’ve been afraid to call him because I didn’t want to intrude on his busy schedule so I would text him but I’m learning he’s not much of a texter. Also, the most painful thing from my last relationship was when he looked me in the eyes and told me that “last friday on the phone I didn’t even want to talk to you.” So I became more and more insecure the less I heard from him and apparently his doubts about how much I really liked him were growing as well. Finally last night I broke down after not hearing from him all day (despite my texting him a wink face) and texting him saying I really needed him to call me. He did and we ended up discussing communication styles as well as helping me realize that many of my actions towards him were of fear.

Tonight, I gave my fears to God.

When God steps in (after we allow Him to), fear MUST leave. When God steps in the storm is calmed. When God steps in we are changed.
Jesus,
I thank You for taking my fears. I thank You that You’ve given me a man who patiently listens to me on the phone with him, even when i’m sobbing, and calmly talks things out without being defensive. I thank You for taking my fears and showing me I have a future and hope. I love You Jesus.
Rebekah M.