I’ve had a problem lately. I want to serve God. And I have specific people who are on my heart to pray for and witness to. And I try to. Sometimes I even do. But that is where I hit a snag. Bringing the full revelation of God, as much as I have it at least, to people who don’t know Him at all is both exhilarating for me and difficult. I find myself spending a lot of time debating whether this message will be heard right, and how this story will be perceived. I find myself both praying for God to give me the words to say to them but also wondering if those words are maybe “too much” God for them right then.
What ends up happening is I censor my Christianity. I censor myself, and I censor God. I pick and choose what parts of Him I talk about. I talk about His love and His peace – I leave out the part that we have to die to ourselves daily and follow Him.
This, to a worldly point of view, makes sense. I’ve always told myself that too. It’s not dampening God per se – it’s just giving an introductory course. And how can that be a bad thing? That’s how we learn things, a little at a time.
The only thing is, God doesn’t work the way the world works.
I’m coming to realize that this censored witnessing doesn’t cut it. It’s not good. As a Christian, witness to others and acting as a vessel, I need to show the fullness of God. I need to show my Savior in His entirety. All of it. His light won’t shine as brightly if I cover it with patches. His thoughts are higher than mine, and His words deeper – what merit do they have if they get filtered through my worldly mind first?
It is very, very easy to fall into this trap, but it’s a trap nonetheless. We are conditioned to be conscious of what everyone else thinks. Even when we don’t try, it is almost impossible to live life without following some trend or other. We navigate relationships, friendships, and work situations with tact and thinking through what we say. And so it is very easy to conform our words to fit the person we’re talking to.
But God doesn’t conform. He is constant, and unchanging, and there. He doesn’t conform. And we shouldn’t either. It’s not up to us to decide what aspects of God (who’s beyond our understanding anyway) will reach a person whose heart we can’t see. God is God. Let Him worry about that. We just need to share Him. He will take care of the rest.
So today I ask God for a heart to pursue Him radically, for all to see. That I pray with abandon even in earshot of my non-believer friends, and discuss Him freely, without worrying how it will be perceived. Today I ask that God light a fire in me so bright and unquenchable for Him that I no longer care about what will be the most effective way to say something, but instead that I live for Him, pursue Him passionately, and let His light pour out of me. I trust that He’ll reach the ones who need to be reached, and draw in the ones who need to be drawn in. I ask God for the heart to reject the worldly trap of censoring Him, and I invite you all to do the same.