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Restoration (Part III)

Apr30

“So David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away, and David rescued his two wives. And nothing of theirs was lacking, either small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything which they had taken from them; David recovered all” (1 Samuel 30: 1-8, 18-19).

Four years ago I went through a very trying time in my faith. My spiritual family and I were hurt very deeply during this time. My godparents were falsely accused of many terrible things. Through much prayer, I eventually made the decision to leave that church and within a few days my god-parents were asked to leave as well. By the end of that year I had lost several close friends.

frriendsOne of these was a dear friend to me that I had defended repeatedly in her time of trouble. Yet when my time of trouble came, she turned her back on me. She sent me disparaging emails, unfriended me on facebook, and disconnected from me socially and spiritually. I was heart-broken.

“Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me” (Psalm 41:9).

All communication between us stopped – with one exception. Every year on her birthday I sent her a one line email wishing her a good year and a happy birthday. Occasionally, I also tried to encourage her in other more subtle ways; for example, leaving uplifting comments on a mutual friend’s post in reply to one of her comments. We were no longer “friends”, but by way of mutual contacts I knew that she could see some of those things. For the most part, my efforts were ignored.

I admit it was difficult for me. I was hurt that she rejected me. I was angry that she was judging me without knowing or understanding what had really happened at the church. I was sad that we were no longer friends. I missed her.

It took me some time, but eventually I forgave her. She was doing what she felt she had to. In shunning me, she was following the direction of her leadership. I understood that to go against the church leadership is rebellion; she was trying to do the right thing. Yes, I had defended her vehemently to that same leadership when they were falsely accusing her of things, but she never knew that. Yes, she believed the false reports spoken about us, but they were constructed in such a way as to be very convincing. In the end I felt badly for her that she was still in that situation when I had found my way to freedom.

Indeed, while that was the most difficult time I have had to endure since becoming a Christian, it was also the catalyst for helping me to grow in Christ and to dig deeper into Him. I have been incredibly blessed in this last four years. I now attend a wonderfully loving church with very supportive leadership. I have been able to attend Bible College, coach the youth in Bible Quizzing, be involved in a Chinese Home Church and meet many wonderful new friends. Everything that I lost was restored to me and then some! Is the church I attend now a perfect church? No, of course not. But it is exactly what I need in my life and it has afforded me many opportunities that would have been closed to me at my old church.

“For I will restore health to you, and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord, because they called you an outcast saying: This is Zion; No one seeks her.” (Jeremiah 30:17).

I have learned that truly all things work together for good (Romans 8:28) and that going through that time helped to bring me to where I am now.  I also have a greater love and appreciation for those around me because I understand that things can change at any time and I know what a blessing it is to have them in my life.

Today, my dear friend that I lost four years ago sent me a friend request on Facebook. This may seem like a small thing, but I assure you, this is no small thing! Tears instantly welled behind my eyes when I saw it. Perhaps we will never be able to recover a friendship like the one we used to have, but I gladly welcome her back into my life. I pray she is well and that God is blessing her.

We truly serve a God of restoration!

In His Love,
Rebekah L.

Related Posts:

 

Jesus is the Great Physician

Apr9

stethoscopeMy Muslim co-worker called me in tears yesterday morning to let me know that her daughter is in the hospital. She was admitted over the weekend and required two different surgeries to try to remove blood clots from her body. It was discovered that she has the same very serious blood-clotting disorder that my co-worker has. She is only 16 years old. Naturally, her mother is afraid.

I visited her daughter in the hospital this evening. I went to offer support and prayers for them both. My coworker has spent the last few days by her daughter’s bedside day and night so I wanted to go and make sure she could have a few minutes rest and have a chance to get a bite to eat. Her daughter doesn’t look good. She is very swollen, can’t move and is in a lot of pain, but I’m believing God for a full recovery. I told my co-worker that I would be praying for her daughter and that Jesus is the Great Physician.

Dear Readers, please join me in this prayer. Pray that my co-worker’s daughter will be completely healed and that my co-worker will know without a doubt that it was JESUS who did the healing. I pray that God would use this situation to show her that He is more than just a prophet; He is the Messiah, the Christ, the Living God; He is her Savior.

Jesus,

Thank you for the friendship that is blossoming between my co-worker and I. I pray that you would help me to be Your hands and feet and to minister to those You put in my path. Lord, please heal my co-worker’s daughter. Remove every remaining blood clot from her body and let her recovery from surgery be swift and complete. Use this opportunity to open their eyes to the truth of who You are. Help those of us in the body of Christ to honor You in all we do and to love all people with Your unfailing Love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

In His Love,

Rebekah L.

Reaching People with Love

Apr4

Love God Love People

Last week I wrote about Praying with a Muslim co-worker. Surprisingly of the two posts I have written on this topic, only one commenter has said anything negative. I actually expected it to be much more controversial than it has proven to be. I made a decision to respond to the negative comment privately (instead of on our site) after I visited his blog and discovered that he loves to have long, drawn-out, and very viscous public arguments. Indeed even our private conversation became a painful attack very quickly. I’m not afraid of controversy, but I like to limit negativity. There is a difference. The thing is, I love my Muslim co-worker. I do not agree with her religion, but I love her. For that reason I feel protective of her and don’t want her or others like her to be subjected to the kinds of hateful things he was writing in his emails to me. Everyone has the right to free speech – on their own blog. On my posts, however, I choose not to subject myself or our readers to hateful speech. It’s the same as how in your house you are free to watch any kind of television program you wish to, but in my own house I choose not to subject myself to ungodly programming.

I will say though that this person brought up some points that made me realize some people may misunderstand the nature of my interactions with my Muslim co-worker. I considered posting his entire initial comment here so that I could go through it point by point, but it would make for a very long post and I want the focus of this post to be love. But I’ve decided in the future that I may allow the initial negative comment to be posted, along with my response, but then limit subsequent dialog if it starts spiraling down the rabbit hole. Those are just my own thoughts, the other Rebekahs may handle comments on their posts differently.

Here’s the thing, people are won to the Lord by love. They are not won through clever arguments, coercion, or Bible thumping. They are certainly not won through curses, threats, or hate. Rebekah M. recently wrote about this in her post: The God of Love. You see, it was the LOVE of God that compelled Him to die on a cross for me. When the Lord talked with the Samaritan woman at the well He did not attack her with ugly words. He did not ignore her (which was customary in His day). He did not condemn her. The Samaritan woman had at least three things going against her: first, she was a woman. Generally men wouldn’t speak to women who weren’t in the presence of a male relative. Second, she was a Samaritan. Samaritans were considered to be lower than dogs to the Jewish people. Their worship was tainted with pagan rituals and beliefs. Third, she was a woman of ill-repute. She lived a very ungodly lifestyle. None of this stopped Jesus from reaching out to her. He had compassion on her. His compassion didn’t mean that He condoned her activity, no, He was honest with her and told her she needed the living water that only He could offer. He treated her with love.

Likewise, I am doing my best to love the people around me with a godly love. My Muslim co-worker knows I don’t agree with her religion. We have had many conversations about who Jesus is and what He did. I am praying that one day she will get the revelation that what I’m telling her isn’t just what I believe, it is TRUTH.

I can completely understand people being uncomfortable with what I’m doing with my Muslim co-worker, especially as it relates to our mutual prayers. I myself have gone into this with much caution and prayers. I have saturated it in prayers. My personal prayers every single day are for God’s will in this situation. We have also prayed about this many times in our family prayers. People at church have prayed. I have asked God to close the door if He isn’t in it. But the door has remained open and I have seen how He is drawing her through this. She’s asking many more questions about Jesus now. Our conversations are focused on God. She wants to know more about what I believe. She wants to know more about Him. She doesn’t yet realize that what is holding her back from knowing Him is the weight of tradition and the comfort of ritual. She doesn’t yet realize that it is her fear of familial and cultural expectations that are blinding her, but I believe in a God who knows how to take off the blinders!

One thing this commenter wrote to me was how Muslims pray towards Mecca and that by doing that with her I’m praying toward an idol. Actually, he’s made an assumption (which I can understand because my post wasn’t very clear) that isn’t true. I pray next to her, but we don’t face the same direction. I actually do that on purpose. She prays on the floor on her prayer mat while I pray seated at my desk which faces a different direction. As I mentioned in my first post on this topic, it is much more like we are praying at the same time, rather than praying together. The thing is, she is going to pray regardless, with or without me being present. Because my office is one of the few places she can do this, I’m almost always going to be there. I can choose to sit silently while she praises Allah, or I can choose to lift of the name of Jesus.  If I’m there praying in the Name of Jesus, there is a chance she will feel His Spirit move in a way she hasn’t felt before. There is a chance she will feel HIM reaching out to her. There is a chance my prayers will awaken something in her that will lead her to Truth. It is very clear to both of us that the focus of our prayers is different. She knows I’m praying to Jesus and that I believe He is the only way.

Condemning her won’t win her to the Truth, only love can do that. I remember very clearly sitting in a church service where the preacher was talking about something controversial. He got the whole congregation laughing and poking fun of people. What he didn’t know is that I came out of the lifestyle he was making fun of. When the congregation started laughing, it felt extremely personal, like they were all laughing at me. Even though none of them knew about my past, it was a humiliating experience for me. I didn’t feel love, I felt contempt. If the Lord had not already converted me, I’m sure I never would have stepped foot in a church again.

We need to be sensitive and compassionate if we want to win people to the Lord. Yes, it’s VERY important that we don’t participate in ungodly activities, but the best way to separate someone from their ungodly ways, is to show them the love of Jesus. Jesus won me with love, and I have faith that He will win my Muslim co-worker with love as well.

In His Love,

Rebekah L

Praying with a Muslim Part II – Friend of God

Mar26

Those of you who have been fMuslim Woman Prayingollowing this blog for awhile know that about a month and a half ago I had the opportunity to pray with a Muslim co-worker.  You can read the original post here. What you may not know, is that these prayers have continued and my relationship with this co-worker has deepened during this time.

As a devout Muslim, my co-worker has to pray at least five times a day at specific times. There are relatively few places she can do this where we work. Since I have one of the few offices, and the only truly private office in the building she comes to do these prayers in my office a few times a week.  While she prays to Allah, I pray in the name of Jesus. My prayers are focused on one thing – her salvation. I pray for Jesus to reveal Himself to her. I pray that she will feel the Holy Spirit moving in my office.  I pray that she will get a revelation of who He is.

On Friday she came in for her mid-afternoon prayers and I sat next to her praying to Jesus. After she finished praying she looked at me in a way I have never seen her look at me. She had this amazed and almost bewildered look on her face. Then she said in a sort of confused tone, “You are not Muslim, but I think God told me you are His friend. I don’t think I’m His friend, but I think you’re His friend.”

This truly was amazing! I don’t feel much like God’s friend with all the mistakes I’ve been making lately, but I do believe God was trying to tell her something. Is it possible that He was trying to convey to her that I know Him in a way that she doesn’t? Perhaps if she believes I am His friend, she will be more open to listening to what I have to say about Him.

NailsI believe He is slowly revealing Himself to her and I have faith that He is going to transform her life. Will you believe God with me? Will you pray for my Muslim friend to come to know that Jesus is her Savior? I am looking forward to the day when she will declare that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

In His Love,

Rebekah L

Rough Day

Mar14

An upright man gives thought to his ways (Proverbs 21:29)

So today was rough. I started the day with finding out I missed something on a patient that, although not fatal, was a BIG thing to miss. Nothing bad happened, but I shouldn’t have missed it. Later on, I had a huge blow when a test showed another one of my patients had a silent but potentially deadly condition. One where a person can go from looking fine to dead in just a few minutes.

It really got to me. I had instantly bonded with this patient and his wife and, although he was fine at the moment, knowing that he was so seriously ill (although it was not evident looking at him) got me to the core. Being emotionally invested in my people means that when they are hurting, I hurt. When they aren’t doing well, it makes me feel a bit like I’m not doing well. It makes me a good doctor, but it also makes me vulnerable to burnout.

Recently, another student joined my team. We start the day at the same time, work in the same office space, and typically have most of our meals together.  He’s even made it his mission to have me watch the entire series of Scrubs (all 8, not counting the fake 9th season). We essentially spend most of our day together until I pray with my family at night or go to church.

Knowing that I was so emotionally compromised today, I had a moment where I thought, “I must be careful. I am missing [the guy I just let go], I am spending LOTS of time with this guy every day, my heart is hurting for my patient, and my pride is hurt from my missing that thing yesterday. I need to be careful.”

So what did I do? I talked to a friend that I knew would lay it to me straight. Luckily, since I was preemptively seeking help, she mainly confirmed that yes, I was right to be concerned and it was good I was being mindful and careful.  Are there times where he’s flirty with me? She confirmed that yes, when he does things like taking my stethoscope from around my neck even though he had his in his pocket and taunted me about it in front of the nurses, that was flirting. But she also confirmed that that’s why it was good I was reaching out NOW, BEFORE anything was happening. The best part was that she even prayed with me and prayed over me about this.

I think I’m growing. This time with a guy who seems attracted to me but not someone I can date (since he does not believe like I do), I am seeking God in prayer. This time I am saying “Lord, I’m weak, I know that I’m vulnerable to being attracted to this guy. Help me God, help me be good. Help me not do anything wrong. Help me Jesus.”  Like the above verse in Proverbs, I feel like I am reflecting on my past and knowing that just because he’s not in church, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to his charms.  It just means that Jesus is my strength. That even on rough days, I can find comfort in Him, not in a guy’s hug (mental or physical). That even on days when I’m worried for my patients and was just reprimanded, God is good and holds me through it.  I don’t need a guy to cheer me up, just Jesus.

Thank You Lord for helping me through this rough day.  Thank You God that I didn’t turn to man (or a man in this case) but I turned to You. Thank You God that I am safe in Your arms.  Thank You Jesus for giving me strength to be good and not offer anything more than just friendship.  I praise You. I worship You. I love and adore You Jesus more than anything else and I love that I can say it and mean it!!! 

Rebekah M. 

Being Christian – Loving God, Loving People

Feb19

phil-1-6-amplifiedI have a bit of a confession to make: I have no idea how to be a Christian. I mean, it seems simple enough; believe Jesus. But that’s really just the beginning. That’s what it takes to wear the label, but how we actually live out our Christianity from day to day isn’t so easy.

The Bible is full of wisdom and instruction on the subject and though I’ve committed to live by its principles I still find myself floundering at times. I wonder if I’ll ever get it right. And therein lies the problem. I’m entirely too self-focused. It’s not about me perfecting the rules and regulations, it’s about letting God transform me from the inside out. It’s really His work. I just have to be willing to lay my old man down and allow Him to create me anew.

When it comes down to it, being a Christian is really about loving God and loving people. It’s not about looking inward; it’s looking up to God and out to the people. We’re servants. We’re here to serve God and to honor God by serving others.

Jesus said unto him, Thou Love God Love Peopleshalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. –Matthew 22:37-39

When we really love God we are willing to decrease so that He can increase (John 3:30). We will strive to do what He asks of us (John 14:15). When we really love God we will love people (John 13:35). When we really love people, we will have a burden to reach them for the Lord! This is true Christianity.

Lord, help me to love you better. Help me to love your people better. Help me to believe you for every area of my Christian walk. Teach me how to follow after you with everything I have. Guide me on the path and show me how to be a true Christian. I struggle with how to best to represent you. I don’t know how to do the things I know I should do, but you are a merciful patient teacher, and I thank you for that. Thank you for your unending love.

In His Love,

Rebekah L.

Tuning In

Nov10

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; ~ Ephesians 6:18

While I was listening to my favorite sermon series on Esther, I felt God suddenly urge me that I had to pray for someone. I got the sense that it was a pastor’s wife and so I texted one that I had felt God had called me to be her armor bearer a few months ago and after I texted her I felt an urge to also text another pastor’s wife that I had been thinking about randomly for the last few days before that. For both, I asked if they needed prayer since I felt God ask me to pray for someone. Shortly thereafter the second pastor’s wife responded with the fact that she did in fact need prayer. I started praying for her right then and there. As my prayer drew to a close, I asked God if the other one was a fluke but then said “I wouldn’t put it above You Lord to have called me to pray for both.” Lo and behold, later that night the other pastor’s wife responded saying that she too needed prayer.

The next day, my prayer partner and I went to battle for them both. It was amazing and insane. It felt like when God called me to randomly intercede for Ex #1 during our “break”, not knowing why, and later finding out it was exactly at that time that he was having the first conversation with his father in over a year.  We both felt confirmation over things as we prayed and I cannot thank God enough for my prayer partner.  She is so spiritually sensitive even if she doesn’t always realize it.  I know we did battle and I know things were broken. It has been SO long since I felt such a connection with what GOD wanted prayed about vs. what I wanted to pray over.

 

Jesus, 

Thank You for giving me the privilege to minister to the ministers.  Thank You for allowing me to be a vessel used by You to encourage those who need it.  Thank You for using me (and my prayer partner) to help these beloved pastor’s wives of Yours.  You love them so much that You would randomly call me to pray for them- wow! What a mighty God You are!!! I know that means that I may never know all the people called to pray for me. Even the readers, they may never know the prayers said on their behalf. Thank You Jesus for Your wonderful, marvelous ways. I love You Jesus with all my heart. 

Rebekah M. 

Related content:

Praying in the Spirit- http://www.slideshare.net/southfayettechurch/praying-in-the-spirit

Esther Sermon Series- http://www.apostolichub.com/hub/shop/index.php?cPath=57_93

The Unexpected (aka Restoration pt 2)

Sep16

So this weekend turned out to be so much more interesting than I had expected it to. I knew going in that I was attending a wedding and was carpooling there with a guy friend of mine. Originally it was supposed to be with he and his girlfriend but they ended up breaking up shortly before so she didn’t even come along.

Best way to describe this weekend: Mind. Blown.

He and I have been friends for a few years now and no- we are not dating. That I know of he’s not even interested. However- for the first time I felt like I recognized things in someone where I was like- “that- that’s what I want.”  For the first time I feel like I met someone who would actually do the daily “so who did you invite to church today?” conversation I imagine having with my future husband at the dinner table. For the first time I felt like I met someone who’d jump in and pray over things and people as passionately as I do. For once I felt like I met someone who would be just as willing to open his door to people in need- whether it be a meal or a bed to sleep on.

Does this mean I think he’s the one? No. This means that I feel there’s hope that there really is someone out there for me that’s still single.  If this friend of mine exists and is still single- then perhaps there are more like him.

I don’t know if he wants more than friendship. I don’t even know if I want that since I’m pretty sure for things to work out I’d have to have a residency near him given various circumstances that have him where he is (the most important of which is I truly think God has called him to help with the church he’s currently attending). However, it was wonderful just being near a single guy my age where it was SO easy to talk about Jesus, he was attractive from the inside out, has a super fun personality, and a genuine love for God and the things of God.

So from what I wrote does that mean I’d never date him? No. It just means that I have no clue where God wants to take it all but I’m putting it all in His hands.

Jesus,

Thank you for a great weekend filled with You, friends, and laughter.  Thank You for reminding me that I have hope of a future. Whether it’s with that guy or someone else- You will reveal in Your timing. Thank You that You are good. I love You Jesus with all my heart. 

Rebekah M.

Related Post: http://beingrebekah.com/2012/07/15/restoration/

Hind’s Feet On High Places (Tearing Down the High Places pt2)

Sep10

The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments. ~ Habakkuk 3:19

So the other day God showed me during prayer time that the foundation of one of my high places was actually something that happened to me as a child.  It’s interesting how for Rebekah A. the root to something holding her back was also from her childhood. I honestly don’t feel like I am able to be 100% transparent right now about all this.  Some times the things we struggle with.. it’s even hard to share it on a mainly anonymous blog.  Regardless… this childhood event caused a shift in me that I never fully understood until that moment in prayer. From then on, a huge part of “who I am” was fueled by a fear that I was a certain way- a certain sinful way.  This fear caused me to feel less shame when I was acting a bit more sinful in other ways because “then I’m obviously not that way.”

As I prayed more, I have learned bit by bit to give it to Jesus.  I can’t change something like that overnight- but I feel like the above scripture gives me hope.  This high place in my life- God CAN help me not only tear it down, but actually to cause me to walk over it in a place of dominion.  I can overcome it to the point that I can look down from the remnants of it and see how an attack might be coming at me in the future.  This God we serve- He gives us strength when it seems all hope is lost.  He will cause us to be able to bound about this world majestically like the deer.

Two weekends from now should have been my wedding day.  We had been looking at getting married either then or in June 2013.  I have been fighting unproductive feelings of bitterness towards my ex and life in general when I see all my friends getting married.  I don’t want to be anything but happy for them, but it is hard when they are getting married and I’m not. However, I know I dodged a bullet… more like a nuclear bomb that I was blind to. We would have been SO wrong and yet the feelings had been with me almost all weekend.  This morning, though, on my way to work, I had an amazing chat with Jesus; just sat and prayed in tongues as I drove to work and He did a work in my heart.  A different “high place” in my life is fear that I will always be alone.  It stems from, again, things in my childhood that made me feel ugly and unlovable.  Jesus and I are going to work on that but for now- He showed me He would sustain me.  That He would cause me to one day be able to not only overcome these high places, but tread upon them like dirt.

Jesus, 

Thank You for being with me today.  Thank You for Your blessings.  I love that You have been with me all day and have shown me that You will sustain me through these next few emotionally trying weeks.  Thank You that You will enable me to tear down my high places after You reveal them to me. Thank You that You will enable me to walk on them. I love You Jesus with all my heart.  

Rebekah M. 

In Our Hour of Need (aka Tearing Down the High Places)

Sep7

Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. ~Psalms 19:12

Given that I had Labor Day off this past Monday, I tried to figure out where God wanted me. Was it to visit friends in NYC, near Harrisburg, or up in Niagara Falls? Also, was it to spend a whole weekend or just one day?  In the end, all things fit best with going to church in the city I am at now and then visiting Niagara to see friends on Labor Day.  Interesting enough, when the day finally came, everyone but two friends could meet, and one of them only for a few hours.  Something said to me that God had more planned for us and that there was something He wanted us to discuss.

After a nice day of shopping and napping we went to get coffee. There and when we drove back, we ended up talking about how she had been praying for God to reveal to her any secret faults she may have had.  Her husband (who was spending the day playing a game with his guy friends that they plan months in advance) had been the answer to that prayer by pointing out something shortly afterwards that she didn’t even realize she did.

This felt SO in line with how God has been working with me lately on my “high places.”  He recently identified to me what one was.  It was the most humbling experience to have something that I never imagined I really struggled with actually hit me in the face and be like… “hello! This is something that gets to you!” We here at BeingRebekah have talked about leaving our Babylons and what I noticed while talking to my friend and later on my prayer partner as I drove back, is that Babylon, high place, and secret faults all boil down to the same thing- something that is not of God within our lives.

As I drove back, I talked and prayed with my prayer partner on the phone.  Through God, we both dug into things from our past that were the foundation for things we struggled with today.  I realized that God wanted me to hang out with that friend specifically so that I would be lead to identify the foundation of one of the high places in my life.  One day I’ll be ready to post about it on the blog, but for today I just wanted to encourage you all to know- God gives us what we need when we need it! For me, it was a friend who would jump start a prayer that I would have later on with my prayer partner where God revealed something formed from an event of my childhood.

Jesus, 

Thank You for giving me exactly what I need when I need it.  Thank You that when I stop struggling to have my own way and just let You move, You open and close doors as You wish.  Thank You that You showed me the foundation of one of my high places so that I can now keep working to tear it down.  I know that it isn’t always an “overnight” thing, but I also know that through You, now that it is identified, it can and will be torn down.  I love You Jesus with all my heart.  

Rebekah M.