With my medical school days wrapping up soon and all the changes that come along with that, I have noted a slight shift. There are so MANY possible distractions. There are potential unnecessary arguments, potential unneeded activities, and more to take me away from the main thing- Jesus. As this song says, Jesus be the center of it all. May my day revolve around Him and pleasing Him. I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time I’ve posted this song, but we can never truly remind ourselves about this point too much. Everything is NOTHING without Him.
So Jesus, rule in my life. Rule in my conversations. Rule in my every day living. Be my center. Be my rock that everything is built on. Let my life reflect You, Jesus.
Last night I had an interesting conversation with a recent acquaintance of mine. He wanted to know my thoughts on homosexuality. It was pretty clear he went in with the idea that if I said it was wrong that he would never speak to me again. I prayed for wisdom on what words to say- not because I so deeply cared if he left my life (he really isn’t any part of my life)- but because all times can be a moment to bring people closer to understanding principles of God. I honestly don’t want to delve into my stance because this topic is controversial and I like keeping my posts about my personal main focus in life: showing God’s love.
I wrote a bit about this before in my post “The God of Love”. I think the amazing part of everything is that by the end of the conversation I stood by the Bible but I also opened his eyes to the fact that just because one may not agree with someone else, it doesn’t mean they have to hate them nor shun them. This Jesus, He is all about bringing people together and having peace be in the midst. We don’t have to fight or hurt others. Just show them Jesus. Show them love and God will do the rest and reveal as He wills. Let your light be so bright- the light of His love- that it’s evident who you are for.
Yesterday I was incredibly sick with what I’m guessing was a 24 hour bug. Throwing up every hour on the half hour for what felt like an eternity and then when that stopped I had full on body aches and a high fever. Even running my hands through my hair hurt on a level like I don’t ever remember it hurting. Through it all though, something in my heart still gave praise to God. There were short windows where I would feel well, about 30-45 mins each and during one of those windows I played a song that I newly learned. Part of the lyrics say “in my weakness you are merciful” and I started to cry as I sang them out loud.
It is so true. In our moments of weakness, physical or spiritual, God is still merciful, He is still good. I was blessed beyond measure to have it happen while I was home visiting family so that my mom could take care of me. Just a few years shy of thirty and I was lucky enough to still have my mom nurse me back to health. She quickly went out to get ingredients for chicken soup, sugar free jello (I’m diabetic), low carb Gatorade, and saltine crackers. At one point when my fever was raging high and I could barely move from pain, she actually spoon fed me some jello and gave me Gatorade through a straw because I hadn’t had anything for a bit.
God gives us what we need when we need it! Even more, the doctor I’m working with this month told me I could take today and tomorrow off to get better and come back on Weds. What blessings! What mercy! God, You truly outdo what I am worthy of! Thank You Jesus!!
Thank You Jesus that in my weakness, You truly are merciful! Thank You Jesus that in all times, You are good! Thank You Jesus that there is none like You and You truly do watch over us Praise You Jesus! Praise You God for Your little miracles
So… this is not the typical song of the day…. I felt like singing the song and sharing it here with you all- a capella. And a few pics from a free stock photo site since WordPress doesn’t allow just audio files to be played (that I know of). I’ll admit, this is raw. I do not profess myself to be a super talented singer nor a video editor. There are multiple times when I was off-key or “pitch-y” and I only had 4 pictures that aren’t timed with the lyrics. However, I hope that you’ll feel just a little of what I was feeling when I sang this song.
Earlier yesterday while I was driving to church I was praying/worrying about this and that and as the things were swirling in my mind this song came on my CD player and I felt God so quietly tell me to just lay it all aside and rest in Him. His amazing sweet presence told my soul to just rest in Him. I felt such assurance that resting in Him, all would be OK. That everything would be more than fine. The beauty of this amazing God is just beyond words. His peace that passes all understanding is truly a most beautiful wonderful gift.
I hope you all comment below on a moment when God swept into your heart during a time of worry and how His beautiful, sweet presence soothed your soul too!
Only You can break my fall. Only You can help me breathe in the abundant skies that You created me to soar through. Only You are my strength. Only You are my rock and my shield.
I thank You for Your mercies. I thank You for Your goodness. I thank You that there is none like You.
Help me live my life for You. Help me live with all I have for You.
I have a confession that I’ve hinted at before: I’m sort of seeing this guy who’s not in church. He’s fun, sweet, and is the exact mixture of my Exes that I had said I wished existed in one person- Ex #1′s amount of time he put into me and Ex #2′s sense of adventure and being outdoors and non-demanding-ness. This guy literally pays as much attention to me as Ex #1 did… texting me all day long (with breaks for things like… work LOL!)… but also enjoys being outdoors. Our two hangouts included going on hikes where he made sure that there was a waterfall we could sit by and just sit and talk. He’s thoughtful and sweet and even cleaned off the snow from my car.
However… how does that work with me loving God so much? I can’t help but see that we could have a comfortable life together. We’d have moments of laughter- cooking together, dancing in the kitchen to cute old school music, tickle fights- yeah, he’s that kind of guy. But then we’d have a spiritual discord that I cannot overlook. It makes me continually feel like I’m sowing into the wrong things.
However, he is a soul. He is someone who needs to know God. His boss is a Christian, one of his good friends is a pastor’s son. I truly feel like God wants to reach out to him but am I supposed to be part of the equation or is he just a test for me? Will I hold out for Isaac or go after Ishmael?
At church tonight the preacher asked “are you truly committed to God? because if you are only half committed you will not receive the full blessing from God.” As the sermon progressed, I felt God sing this song to me. Tell me that He’s loved me all of my life and that He was with me. At alter call I told God I was 100% His, making sure that I told God I was laying this guy on His alter in my heart, and the moment I fully meant it, my pastor came along and asked me if I knew how to speak mandarin because they had a new couple there that couldn’t speak English very well and were from China. I had seen them walk in late in service. She told me that they had been passing by and felt God so they came in. She had been searching for God. In China the church she tried to go to once, they said that sickness was because of not believing in God. It was punishment for unbelief. She could not believe that but she wanted to know God and felt Him as she was passing by so she came in… and the moment I gave my heart to God, He used me to help reach her. In my broken Mandarin skills (I’m Chinese, born in America), I told her over and over that Jesus loved her, died for her, wants to live in her heart, it wasn’t an accident that she was there. With tears in her eyes we prayed together- she even told Jesus she loved Him!!! WOW!!!!
Dear readers- this is the amazing grace of our Jesus. I’m messing up- literally potentially flirting with disaster and yet the moment I lay my heart out to Him, He uses me to help minister to a someone who it was clear- I met my appointment with God today. Wow! Wow!!!!! WOW! I feel like dirt, trash and yet He would still use this broken, dirty vessel. Wow! Who am I to be used by the Almighty to reach others? Who am I to be able to say He is good? It has NOTHING to do with my worth and EVERYTHING to do with Him. He has loved you all of your life. You are NOT alone. He is here! He wants to use you to spread the news that He is with each of us every day. Help Him by meeting His appointments. Minister to Him by ministering to others. He has seen you through your darkest night, He is faithful and true. His love will carry us through this broken, lonely, ugly, messy world.
With so much going on this holiday season I can’t help but feel like I’m allowing myself to slip a little. Distractions get to me and I just don’t always seek Him as I should. This song feels like God’s beckoning to my soul. Seek Him again so that He can open the blind eyes, unlock the deaf ears, and touch our generation.
Hear us from heaven Jesus. Hear our cry of our souls. Heal us and our land. Jesus, so many souls are hurting in this time when people should be celebrating family together they mourn their broken homes. They mourn their broken lives. Working in the ER I have witnessed first hand how much people’s pain can become more than just mental pain. Jesus… heal us in this broken nation. In this nation that has lost it’s commitment to marriage and family. It’s commitment to You and Your ways. Heal us Jesus! Heal us oh Lord who IS love itself. Jesus, I thank You for those who have family and can rejoice with them. I pray now that You will help open the eyes to the hurting that You are holding them! You are with them now! God… if there is someone reading this right now that You’ve been crying out to that You want to help mend their hurt and broken hearts… I pray they hear You now! You want them to feel Your love. You want them to know they can have a new life in You. Bless oh Jesus. Bless these dear readers with love and healing.
As I drove home from church tonight I decided to switch CDs to what I named my “Brighter Day Mix.” In I popped it, hit “random,” and BAM it when to my favorite song- Freedom Song by Mandisa
As I sang for all I was worth along with the song and clapped during red lights, I remembered one of my favorite preachers talking about how the sound of hands clapping is like the sound of chains breaking. I let my fears and doubt fall off me as I busted out in song- sure my King would bring me victory if I just buried myself in Him.
Am I fully succeeding in this every day? No. But I can seek to make each new moment better than the previous one. I can seek to do what God wants for me each new moment versus letting the things I messed up with chain me from moving forward. Do I live with the consequences of the past, yes. But He is able and faithful to turn all things around if we just submit it all to Him and turn 100% away from those things that were bad and wrong.
So today- I seek to praise Him despite my doubt. I seek to worship Him despite the feeling of impending doom. I seek to worship Him despite the fact my world could potentially fall apart- for He is faithful. So I will put my hands up in the air and sing Hallelujah. I will proclaim that I have been set free! Praise to the Lord my chains of fear and doubt are gone when I just worship Him!!! Praise to the Lord, my chains are gone, can’t help but sing this freedom song!!!!
Can God touch someone using a language the hearer has never learned?
The answer is yes! Yes, He can! On Sundays I attend an American church in the mornings and a Chinese home church in the afternoons. As a result I often listen to Chinese worship music along with my usual English praise songs. At work the other day I was listening to one of my Chinese worship albums. I kind of forgot I had it on because it was set to a very low volume, just loud enough so that the silence wouldn’t drive me crazy. One of my Hispanic co-workers came by my office for assistance with something. He was talking about work issues for a few minutes when he suddenly stopped and seemed to be listening really hard. He asked me to turn the music up. I increased the volume and the song playing was called 你釘痕的手(Nǐ dīng hén de shǒu) which roughly translates to Your Nail-Scarred Hands. My co-worker listened pensively for a moment and said, “It’s really touching” and he asked me what it was. I told him it was Chinese. He asked me what the song was about. I explained to him that it was a Christian song and that it was about thinking of Jesus’ hands marked by the nails, His pain, how He heals our pain, but whatever pain we go through doesn’t compare to what He did for us. My co-worker’s eyes instantly filled with tears. He looked down and told me that he hasn’t been to church in 14 years. I told him it wasn’t too late to come back. He said that he didn’t think God would want him back. So I shared the story of the prodigal son with him and how the father rejoiced when his son came home and I told him that God loves him and is just waiting for him to come back. I invited him to come to my American church. I’m not sure if he’ll come because of the language barrier (he’s more comfortable with Spanish), but God has opened a door using a language this young man doesn’t even understand. It is clear that God is still reaching for this man and His Spirit transcends language and cultural barriers! Praise the Lord!
Jesus,
Thank you for your love and care for the lost sheep of this world. You are so worthy of our praise and adoration, Lord. Your enduring mercy continues to move me. Help me to be your hands and your feet and your mouth piece. I love you.
Rebekah L.
*Edit — Dear Readers, If you’re interested in hearing the song that was playing in my office when this conversation took place, I have posted it below. There are graphic images from The Passion of the Christ in this video so if that bothers you, you might not want to watch it. Be Blessed! In His Love, Rebekah L.
Yesterday was my parents’ wedding anniversary. Was. They’ve been divorced for over sixteen years now. Their marriage was a terrible one. I never remember a time when they were happy in it. It was painfully obvious to us children that they had no love for each other. I remember as a young child, hoping, wishing, praying that they would get divorced. Yet, when it finally happened, I still grieved over it.
A small piece of that sadness hung over me yesterday. December 3rd is a reminder of a failed covenant. People promise things all the time. People lie. They cheat, they steal, they change their minds, they hurt each other.
But God.
God’s love never fails. He never lies. He will never leave us or forsake us. When He makes a covenant, you can count on Him to keep His side of the agreement. Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?” Joshua told us that not one thing has failed of all the good things which God said, all of them come to pass (Joshua 23:14). God loved us when we were unlovable. He loved us enough to die for us. We don’t ever have to fear that He will fall out of love with us. It doesn’t matter how many times we fail Him, He never gives up on us. He keeps reaching, reaching.
God entered a personal covenant with me on February 29th 2004, the day He sealed me with that Holy Spirit of promise (Ephesians 1:13). I can choose to walk away from Him if I want to, but He will never walk away from me. I may fall from time to time, but He will always be willing to help me back up. His love never fails.
Jesus, Thank you for your never failing love.~Rebekah L.
Praise You Jesus! Praise You God for Your little miracles 
