My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven.

I give it all to You God,

Trusting that You’ll make something beautiful out of me.”

These are lyrics to a song (posted below), originally by the United Pursuit Band, that’s pretty much been my heartbeat for several months now. Every time I leave the house, I want to be used. In a profound way. I want spirits to move and God to be known. I want to love, unconditionally and boldly.

I don’t, however, want to do anything without Jesus.

It’s a good thing I have that caveat, because He hasn’t used me as often as I might’ve thought. I passed a homeless person once and God gave me a word for him about how he was priceless and precious and needed to remember who he was. Other times I have prayed with people. But not always. Sometimes I’m not led to do or say anything. It breaks my heart a little bit to walk by a person. But I have to trust that Jesus knows their hearts as well as He knows mine, and He knows who is ready to receive His words. He knows where to send me and what to have me do.

Then again, sometimes I’m called to do something but my tasks are more subtle than I would have predicted. Once, Jesus had me anoint a subway car. Why, you may ask? I might ask the same question. I have no idea why. I knew I had a mission that day, I could feel it. But I was assuming that the mission would be to pray over someone or be given discernment and a word for someone. Nope. I anointed a subway car that had nobody else in it. I obeyed the command and completed that task. I will never see the benefits or affects it had. But I trust that God had me do that for a reason.

Sometimes, I don’t know why He makes the decisions that He does. For instance, after praying for so long and hard to find an aide for Jimmy – not just any aide but the person that God wants in our house every morning and every night – after all that, I don’t know why our new aide is so rude and argumentative. Why there’s so much anger and anxiety in him. But I trust that God knows. Maybe the reason he’s been assigned to our house is because I do keep it covered in prayer. I pray for the people who come here too. Maybe he has spiritual issues of his own that need to be worked out and he needs that extra prayer support. Maybe. I don’t know.

The point is, I don’t have to know. I can feel Jesus beaming when I serve Him, even if I don’t know why I am. But really, I am a mere vessel. I’m hands and feet. Jesus is the center, the head, the breath that sustains me. The ‘tasks’ I do stem from Him. That’s all I need to know. Beyond that, “I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to You God, trusting that You’ll make something beautiful out of me.”

And so my heartbeat continues.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

So what to do when you want proof of this supposed King of Kings? You do something big. Something crazy and life-changing. Something unplanned. I mean, God’s big, right? So by putting Him on the spot in a big way, having Him do something that coincidence and mere people wouldn’t be able to work out, you’re getting proof of His existence and His interest in your life. Right?

So you do your big life-changing gesture. You make your move. And the Almighty God responds with…..nothing. Nothing but crickets from the spiritual realm. Were you wrong about Him after all? Is this God guy just a myth?

I assure you, He’s not just a myth. He’s there. He watched every second of your big gesture. This I know. As for why He didn’t respond…it’s a big question. A vulnerable question, even. And there are a couple of answers. The first is the literal one. We’re sort of told in the Bible not to put God on the spot like that.

But the real reason I think, is that the big gestures aren’t necessary. If Jesus responded to all of those, we’d start thinking we needed to do them. But it’s not about that. Jesus loves us. Us. He loved us so much He made us. Zephaniah 3:17 says “He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing.” Just think about that. Jesus, the same King of Kings you thought you needed to do something crazy for, is enamored with you. He looks at you, and His heart is so touched by love that He’s moved to song. Not because you make the big gestures, not because you put Him on the spot. He loves you that much simply because you exist. And He wants to spend time with you. Even if it’s just 5 minutes per day. You are worth it to Him. We don’t having to go seeking Him or searching for Him. He’s already there.

Yes, some people are called to lay down their lives in different ways. Some people are called to different places. But they are called there as a means of serving God, not as a means of proving He exists. It’s different. Making the big gestures without truly ‘knowing’ Jesus is like buying all the furniture before you have a house. It typically doesn’t work well.

So if any of you are struggling with that, or unsure about where Jesus is in your life, it can be a pretty unsettling feeling. Extremely unsettling. And extremely unsettling feelings can cause us to do extreme things. But if you fight that urge, if instead of searching for Him you quiet yourself before Him, you’ll find He was there the whole time. Instead of a big action, give Him intimacy. Look around you – at the flowers, the trees, people helping one another. God is in all of that. All around you. And He’s with you every second, knocking on the door of your heart.

Sometimes, it doesn’t take a big gesture. It just takes opening the door.

If you’re struggling with any of this….with Jesus, with His presence and your place in it all….let me know! Email me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. I’d love to chat with you and pray for you!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

With my medical school days wrapping up soon and all the changes that come along with that, I have noted a slight shift. There are so MANY possible distractions. There are potential unnecessary arguments, potential unneeded activities, and more to take me away from the main thing- Jesus.  As this song says, Jesus be the center of it all.  May my day revolve around Him and pleasing Him.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time I’ve posted this song, but we can never truly remind ourselves about this point too much.  Everything is NOTHING without Him.

So Jesus, rule in my life.  Rule in my conversations.  Rule in my every day living.  Be my center. Be my rock that everything is built on.  Let my life reflect You, Jesus. 

Rebekah M.

This time, though, I wasn’t really bothered. God gave me some immediate discernment over the situation, and I realized that the animosity was coming from external factors and wasn’t towards me personally. My roommate was very offended on my behalf, and I believe his exact words were “It’s mean, and it’s undeserved, and if I could physically do it I would’ve thrown him out the window.” My response, meanwhile, was “it doesn’t matter, it’s just words, and if that’s the price of getting you good care I don’t mind taking the hit.”

He also refuses to do anything extra if he thinks it is helping me. Even when it affects my roommate too. See, an aide’s job is to help my roommate get out of bed and to work. Then, home from work and back to bed. However, that’s not really how life works. Life doesn’t go from bed to work. When you’re living with someone, there’s a life at home too. Sometimes that life needs conversation. Sometimes he has to see something or sign papers. Sometimes there are things in the van that need to come inside. But anything not directly related to care is seen as my territory and he refuses to both help with it or even wait for me to do it.

I’m not sure what those external factors are that triggered this animosity. Either way though, Jimmy was going to have a conversation about it with his aide. And so I turned to prayer. I’d already covered the selection process in prayer. God sent us the man that he wants to be in our house every day. I know that because I prayed for that. Why this particular man? I don’t know. But God wants him with us for a reason. So, with Jimmy standing in agreement, I prayed for God’s spirit of peace to reign over this house, to touch all those in it. That the aide’s rudeness would be met with peace on Jimmy’s end, that the aide would know peace from other areas of his life while he’s here with us. That I would continue to feel nothing but peace in the face of any meanness that came my way. That coming from a place of peace rather than emotion, Jimmy would be able to choose his words wisely and well and have a good conversation that would bring back the positive relationship they’d started out with. We prayed together in Jesus’ name.

Sure enough, the next day a weight was lifted off of the aide’s shoulders. He was relaxed. He chatted with me again. He even joked around with me. This was before the conversation even happened. And the conversation itself went really well.

So today I walk in gratitude of my savior. Jesus can move in hearts in ways we can’t even imagine, and He is so attentive to everyone all at once. His peace and love are perfect, and always available to us. How great our God is!!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Words are timeless. The Scriptures are the purest example of this, but sometimes even mere mortals manage to write down a few thoughts that last centuries. The poem below was written about 800 years ago. You’ve probably heard it before, but it’s a good reminder of what we should strive for as Christians.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon:
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

~A Prayer of St Francis of Assisi

Jesus, I am so much more inwardly focused than I should be. Lord, “grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand, to be loved as to love.”

In His Love,

Rebekah L.

When I was younger, every time I had a serious time of asking God for revelation/my future, I repeatedly would open my Bible and it would land on Ezekiel 37 (this is over years starting in either elementary or middle school at least 5 or 6 times or even more).  Finally, during my college years after one such time like that, I angrily drove home from church one night and was like “God! You have to tell me what it means, why the valley of the dry bones??? You have to or… or… I don’t even know what!”  It is amazing to think I felt I had a right to yell at God like that. Yet instead of punishing me, that very next Sunday we had an unexpected guest preacher who taught on promises.  At one point, he talked about Ezekiel 37 and explained that bones represent promises and that the valley of the dry bones is an analogy of how God can and will breathe life back into promises that seem so dead and dried up.

Last night, the pastor preached on the subject of promises and how God is faithful and able to perform that which He has spoken.  During alter call, I felt the renewed hope in my promises.  They may at times seem SO dead and so far off, but I once again said to Him who is able, “Jesus, if this is truly what You want for my life, You KNOW what needs to come to pass.  I believe. I will go where You want and do what You want.”  I felt His promises begin to take life back on those dry and dusty bones.  I felt Him say:

“That is why I sent you that passage so many times when you were younger, so that you would know that from a young age I wanted you to learn that I am able to bring your promises back to life.  I want you to always know that I am able and I will bring My promises to life.”   

What promises has God laid on your heart that you feel are dead and dusty?  Know that He is able! Let today’s prayer in your heart be to reclaim your promises! Don’t let despair take hold, know that He is faithful and able to perform what He said He would!  Your promises may look dead in your mind’s eye, but He is able to bring back life even the things that seem to have been lost to you years ago.  Let today’s prayer be one that claims His faithfulness.  Ezekiel was told to prophecy to the bones so speak it forth- speak faith that God WILL bring His promises for your life to reality! You may not see the results today, or even tomorrow, but hold on to your promises, hold on to your faith, and know that HE WILL BE FAITHFUL!

God bless you readers as you believe in His promises for your life once again,

Rebekah M.

Related post:

http://beingrebekah.com/2013/02/04/prayer-monday-breaking-oppression-again/

Rebekah M- When I think about my mom, I can’t help but think of how much she rejoices and weeps with me through the times in my life.  I received news that I failed one part (of two) of the medical boards in early December. It became a test of faith. Without passing, certain residency programs would no longer rank me for their program. More over, I only had a small window in which to re-take the test and it was crucial to graduating on time. It wasn’t until January until a new spot opened up for me to re-take the test.  As I went through my second round of testing, I was nervous and part of me wished that I had had greater faith in the midst of that time, but I survived and at the worst of the stress, my prayers to Him who could calm my heart from breaking down in tears worked.  When I received an email in early March saying that the results were posted online, I quickly called my mom.  As I opened up to the results I was able to say to her that I passed.  She immediately started breaking out in praise to God. I could hear her tears through the phone as she wept and gave God praise.  What an amazing mother! Not only am I certain of her MANY prayers on my behalf that I would pass, she continued to encourage me to hold to His steadfast mercy and grace. To know that if this was God’s road for me, all would be well. Even if she had doubts swimming within her mind, she still pushed me to trust Him and clearly, it was well founded.  Praise God for such a mother!!

Rebekah A – “Pal Time”. That’s what my mom and I used to call our morning routine when I was younger. I’d wake up at 5 every morning. Mom would get up too, make tea (tea for me – coffee for her and lots of it!), and join me. In a house full of people, every morning it was just the two of us. She called me her pal, and we talked about everything. As the years have gone by, there have been many ups and downs in my family. My mom is the one who kept us together throughout it all, and has supported me through so much. Success or failure, good times or bad, she met every situation with her unconditional love. No matter what was going on, she was my confidant. To this day she is my best friend. I don’t get to see her as often, but when I do, we still enjoy having the early morning to ourselves, we still have tea (and coffee) together, and we still talk about everything. I thank God every day for my mother – and my first and very favorite pal.

We wish you all a very happy Mother’s Day.

God bless!

~Rebekah M & Rebekah A

~Rebekah M

Last night I had an interesting conversation with a recent acquaintance of mine. He wanted to know my thoughts on homosexuality.  It was pretty clear he went in with the idea that if I said it was wrong that he would never speak to me again. I prayed for wisdom on what words to say- not because I so deeply cared if he left my life (he really isn’t any part of my life)- but because all times can be a moment to bring people closer to understanding principles of God.   I honestly don’t want to delve into my stance because this topic is controversial and I like keeping my posts about my personal main focus in life: showing God’s love.

I wrote a bit about this before in my post “The God of Love”.  I think the amazing part of everything is that by the end of the conversation I stood by the Bible but I also opened his eyes to the fact that just because one may not agree with someone else, it doesn’t mean they have to hate them nor shun them.  This Jesus, He is all about bringing people together and having peace be in the midst.  We don’t have to fight or hurt others.  Just show them Jesus. Show them love and God will do the rest and reveal as He wills. Let your light be so bright- the light of His love- that it’s evident who you are for.

In love,

Rebekah M.

Related Post:

http://beingrebekah.com/2013/03/31/the-god-of-love/

Which got me thinking. If we share the same Father, we are all family. Do we act that way? Do we treat every lost person we see as family? Unconditionally loved, happy to see them? In our hearts, do we recognize them as brother and sister?

I know I don’t. I try to. But all too often, going through my day, I treat people like strangers. Because really, they are. It’s both strange and eye-opening to walk through crowded streets of Manhattan, not knowing a soul but knowing that I’m walking through family and potential family. Because that’s what it is for those who are lost – a potential family. A family that is just waiting for them to join it. To come back to it. To come into their identity that Christ gave them, to live the way they were created to. To come into their inheritance as sons and daughters.

But what am I actively doing to welcome them in? To claim them as brother and sister and show them what this family looks like? God gives me discernment over people sometimes, and it guides my prayer. Other times He gives me a word for people and I do my best to be bold enough to speak it. But if it’s not a direct order, I usually leave them alone. And I don’t think that’s really enough. Yes it’s the crowded streets of Manhattan. But a smile, a greeting, a compliment…those things cost nothing. It doesn’t always have to be profound. Every moment is a chance to show our Father’s love.

Yes, some families here on earth are dysfunctional. Some family members don’t treat each other all that great. But not ours. Not with the Dad we have. So we shouldn’t act like it.

I posted the video below, just because it sparked all my rambling. And I leave you with a call of your own, as you go through your day. It’s a call to not just be outwardly nice to people because we know we should, but to see every person you come across through the eyes of the Father, and see them as a potential brother or sister. What family members have been right in front of you have been right in front of you this whole time?

God bless!

~Rebekah A