Waiting on the Lord

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:31

Having been on such a wonderful, happy high from Jesus just pouring things into my life… today it just suddenly felt like everything was fake and a facade. I barely slept last night, this weekend I didn’t really pray like I have been the past two months, and I realized that these guys most likely aren’t going to work out. Premature judgement? Yes. But sometimes, once you’re in a thinking pit, it’s hard to get out. I want to believe that He holds all wonderful things in our future- waiting for us to be ready to receive them. I want to believe that in the end, there is an Isaac who will finally see ME and love me for who I am. However, I just can’t shake the feeling that no one’s ever going to see this heart of mine for what it really is- someone who lives for Jesus with all that she can.

He quietly whispers to me “lay this at My feet my child, bring this to me.”

Jesus,

I lay my heart as an open book before these readers right now. I pray that somehow, someone who is also struggling to just get through this day or tomorrow also decides to just lay it all at Your feet. As the song says, I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness. Whether a man ever sees my true worth or not, I know that YOU do. I have felt You tell me how pleased You are that in my times of pain and sorrow, I chose to worship You. Lord, in this time of feeling strangely, I choose to worship You. I love You Lord. Despite all the mess of my past, despite everything You love me. I thank You and I lay my life at Your feet once more. I lay all that I am and will become in Your capable hands and just ask that You hold me up when I cannot stand any longer. Lord, I will wait on You. I will wait on Your promises. I will wait on Your faithfulness. I will worship You as I wait.

I will wait.

~Rebekah M.