“Commit your way to the Lord; trust that God will act, and make your integrity shine like the dawn, your vindication like noonday. Be still before the Lord; wait for God. Do not be provoked by the prosperous, nor by malicious schemers.” ~Psalm 37:5-7
Reading Rebekah M’s post, I realized how much God intertwines our spiritual lives. In a few areas, God has kept me in a place of waiting for awhile now. It is so hard to hear “not yet”, but He has been great at giving me signs just when I need them, and reaffirming His plans for me if I just hold on to His timeline.
So I have been trying to move in this place of waiting, and using the time instead to embark on the journey and growth He has for me today. It hasn’t always been easy. I want the finish line; I don’t always want to do the running required to get there. But God has been telling me to dig in; without the running, the finish line never gets reached. So run, and run hard. Do you want a reprieve, or do you want God’s victory? God wins, every time, and it’s time I embraced that and acted accordingly.
What got me thinking today was this constant need I have for hope and signs from God. When I need to be edified or I need confirmation, I look to Him for a sign. He may have already given me plenty of signs. But I look for more. And tonight I have felt God saying, “Why? Do you not trust that I am God? Just because you are wandering blind, just because you are waiting for my word, am I not still God? Do you not trust that my word will come?”
And it’s true. If I trusted that God was faithful and merciful and omniscient, I would trust in His work. I would trust His silence as much as I trust in His voice. I would trust more, and my walk with Him would look different. There is a beauty in the waiting game, I think, because it brings us to this place of trust. It brings us to walking in mindfulness and intention over our small daily activities in the meantime, and we see that even though we are waiting we are not forgotten. God is still moving, and very much so. We see it and feel it in those small daily things, and for the bigger things, we trust Him to move when it’s right. If we truly trusted that God is who He says He is, we wouldn’t need constant confirmation. We would just know that He was there. And we wouldn’t need to look ahead or search through our self-made telescopes to see the teeniest outline of the finish line; instead, we would know that the destination doesn’t matter. God gives us victory and trials in their seasons, but as I posted here earlier, God brings us to the best possible pathway for our lives. Who needs the title of “finish line” when right now, in this very second, we are in the best possible place we can be?
Don’t get me wrong; signs from God certainly have their place, and God uses them mightily. But they can become a crutch for us. Often, we look at a sign and say “hey, God loves me!” and then when we don’t see one we turn around and say “hey, God, where are You?” We need to trust and embrace God’s constancy, so that we can trust and embrace and grow in our dependence on Him. So I say, yes Lord – keep me waiting. Keep me waiting until I learn how to wait right!!
Jesus, help me to walk in the knowledge of who you are and what you do in my life, and bring me to that deeper level of trust. Help me to need You and only You, and shed this need to rely on signs and confirmations. Help me learn to wait in faith and not wait in struggle. Help me learn to embrace the time between as time of training. Waiting or moving, there is no stagnance in You, Father. So help me to not only realize that but rejoice in it, and to know that whatever season You call me to, You are still God and You are never idle in my spirit. Jesus, You know I love You; show me how to trust You like I mean it.