“When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the spirit of your Father speaking through you.” ~Matthew 10:19-20
My last post was about a friend who has been through some rough times in his life, and has a lot of anger towards the world, Christianity, and God in general. I’m convinced there is some sort of spiritual attack on him, because his hatred is all directed towards Christianity and no other religion; that if there is destruction in the world for a spiritual reason, it must be because of people following Jesus. Umm…Osama Bin Laden, anyone? But I digress. I certainly can’t talk him out of his opinion.
Today I found out that in getting out of bed, one of his aides left his wheelchair on. Because his chair was left on, when they put his hand on the joystick he ended up driving the chair by accident. Usually, they get his hand in place first, and then turn on the chair, so that he can control his movements and not drive into the wall. Or in this particular case, into the closet. Because he did in fact drive into the closet, now he has a broken ankle. So now, not only is he in an emotionally dark place over his life in general, and living in pain in general, but now he has a physical injury to add to his pain and frustration. Right when his anger was reaching a boiling point and he needed a teeny bit of hope, he gets hurt. That’s right where the enemy wants him – frustrated, beaten down, and hopeless.
However, I serve a God who heals – both emotional and physical injuries. I serve a God who has mercy on all our mistakes and weaknesses. I serve a God who ways “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). If anybody is burdened it would be this friend of mine. I serve a God who is light and love. It just so happens that this friend of mine needs an abundance of both.
I’m not arguing with him or trying to convince him or sell him on something. But I’m certainly not giving up on him either. I’m not going to ignore his pain when he so needs love. But I’ve learned already that I can’t win this fight with my own words, passion, conviction. God tells us that His word is the sword that breaks chains. There is freedom in His word. In HIS word. Not in mine. I don’t have God’s capabilities when it comes to giving freedom and peace and love. Plenty of things have come out of my mouth, but a sword has never been among them (you’ll be first to know if it ever does!). So what to do? Easy. Let God speak. Let God speak to this lost child of his.
I will pray for my friend tonight. Will I tell him I prayed? I’m a child of God; we’re outright told we don’t need to hide or fear. So I should be able to tell him I prayed, boldly and without fear of a worldly reaction. The only thing is, I’m not really afraid of a worldly reaction; I don’t mind being judged when I know I stand for God. But in this case, I’m not speaking for the sake of proclaiming God’s name; I’m speaking to touch a friend and let him know unconditional love for probably the first time ever. Making him mad won’t accomplish that.
So do I take a different tactic and give a testimony? Maybe tell him about a miracle healing I witnessed? Will I simply make conversation and be a friend to him and love him that way? I have no idea. What I do know is I will also pray for God to fill my mouth with His words, that I would say and do and type nothing other than what God wants this man to hear. It is not my place to get caught up in a back-and-forth argument. It is my place to serve God, be His vessel here on earth and let His light shine through me.
So Jesus, tonight I pray for You to quiet my mind and heart. Quiet it to every voice but Your own. Grant me discernment over this situation, and show me how to love this man with your heart. Give me the words to speak to Him, and let me speak them boldly no matter what you do or don’t put in my head. Jesus I trust You, and I put this whole situation in Your hands. I love You Jesus, with all my heart.