And David’s heart smote him after that he had numbered the people. And David said unto the LORD, I have sinned greatly in that I have done: and now, I beseech thee, O LORD, take away the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly. ~2 Samuel 24:10
I didn’t understand at first why it was wrong of David to count the people. Then the theologian explained to me that he was counting them to find out the might of his army. He decided to try to figure out the defenses of the Israel instead of relying on God knowing it all and having faith that God can and would take care of the country.
I think it’s so hard sometimes to not try to go about life on our own might. I’m on the cusp of being ready to start a new relationship mentally I think… but it seems God is closing the doors to any new relationships right now… or perhaps I’m making pre-mature judgement? Regardless… God tells me to just leave it all in His hands. He’s got someone pretty wonderful out there for me if I’ll just rely on Him and stop trying to figure it out myself.
This too goes for medical school… I know with all my heart that the only reason I got in was because of Him and the only reason I’m passing is because of Him. I know the moment I start thinking I’m passing because of my own skills or knowledge, is the day I start failing. All that I am is because of Him. When we rely on Him for everything, nothing is impossible.
Help me to not try to figure things out myself. Help me to just trust in You for all things- even my future Isaac. I don’t know who he is but it seems like all the options are no longer options and although part of me is concerned, I keep telling myself to just step back and let You work it out. I thank You Lord that all of my future is in Your hands. I thank You Jesus that there is none like You. I thank You Jesus that instead of wasting my time trying to measure up my own might, I am freed to just live my life to the fullest in all that You’ve told me to do. I love You Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.