Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. ~ Psalm 51:10
I find it interesting that one of the leading causes of abdominal pain in children is constipation. They’ll hold it in for one reason or another until it becomes impacted. Then they have to get their system cleaned out and taught healthier habits to try to prevent this in the future. One of the parts of this treatment is enemas. Although I have never had to have one before, it does NOT sound like a fun experience although it is incredibly important to do so in children with impacted fecal matter in their intestines. For those who don’t know, essentially liquid is injected into the rectum and colon and it causes contractions of the intestines and makes the patient have a bowel movement very shortly thereafter.
Lately, I’ve been feeling God call me back to another “spiritual enema.” I feel like my time of prolonged fasting (9 weeks total with about a week off in the middle) was one of the major ones that I’ve had before and when I emerged from it things were SO different. To this day there are still shows that I can no longer watch on Hulu because the content disgusts me in a way that it never had before. Things that I dismissed as “normal” I could no longer allow my spirit to come in contact with because God spoke to my heart on an intimate level and He did not want to share the privilege of my attention with things of such nature- adultery, lying, backstabbing, fornication, witchcraft and more.
I have fallen away from praying 3 times a day and I feel Him calling me back to it. I need to make Him first so that I can stay consistent in Him even when He brings the things into my life that He knows I want most. There are so many dreams in my heart and even after I gave them to Him, some things He gave back with an even stronger desire. However, for now, He is calling me to re-clean out myself. To in essence do another spiritual enema in which fasting, prayer, and reading His Word purge me of the excrement of the world that I’m holding within me- things watched on hulu, bitterness, anger, maybe even a hint of hatred for things of my past.
Whether or not I’m ready to date again… it can wait for me and God to get back to the footing we were on before… if not even further.
I know that some of what I’ve written seems disgusting because of the analogy I’ve used but I feel like this is truly how You view some of the things we allow into our hearts and minds. I’m sorry for some of the things I’ve been watching and listening to on hulu. I’m sorry for anything that I’ve been doing that has taken my heart away from You. Help me Lord as I purge myself of the things of this world yet once again. Show me how You want me to do this and when I should do what. I praise You and I worship You for being my God and Savior. I love You Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.
Fun fact: this is post 101 🙂