I spent the weekend with one of my best friends and her family and it was so needed. I’ve been going to the office until 5PM then studying until late and it’s tiring. Today as we drove to church her 3 year old daughter sang the above song and it just brought me right back to where I need to me and the deepest cry of my heart- Jesus be the center of it all.
All that I am doing to become a doctor would be worthless without Jesus.
All that I am praying and cultivating within myself to be a good wife and future mother would be pointless without Jesus.
All that I am and will become would be worthless without Jesus being the center of it all.
It is SO hard in this life of ours to keep focus on Him at times. There’s laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, work, (in my case and for many others) studying, family, friends, church, and more. But without Him- what is the point? Who and what am I without Him in it? I so desperately want Him in the center of all of it. As I continue to try to leave the whole “guy thing” in God’s hands, I keep pushing it back to “Lord, if You’re not in the center of this, let it just fall away.” My friends are convinced that I should marry a mutual friend because they think he needs a good girl and I need a guy who will treat me right and know what he has. However, I just am not sure he’ll help to push keeping Jesus first. That is what I’m seeking- a man who will drive me to keep Jesus the center of it all. Yes, maybe he’d go get my car when it’s raining without needing me to even ask. Yes, maybe he wouldn’t yell at me to go to the gym (3-5 days a week for at least an hour, didn’t you know?) but just love me for me in all my slightly extra-curvy glory. Yes, maybe this guy would do all the guy thing that I want in my future man- carry the heavy items, put air in my car’s tires, open the doors, pay for me when we go out together- but where will he put Jesus in the mix? Until I feel like that is the priority, I will continue to wait for my future Isaac.
I don’t want a relationship with a guy until I know You are the center. I so desperately want You to be the center of my life. All that I am and do is about You. I am nothing without You. Let me be a light for You. Let me shine for You brighter than ever. Let the words from my mouth and the meditations of my heart reflect You and Your love in my life. Let those who get to know me be inexplicably drawn to You in me and let me testify of who You are to them. Let everything I do while I wait for “Isaac”, point to You and when he finally does come- let us join in pointing lives towards Your saving grace. I don’t want just any relationship. Yes, there are plenty of guys who would treat me well… but I want a relationship that reflects You. Lord, let everything in me and all that I do be about You. Let me be a living sacrifice. Let my life be worship unto You. I love You Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.