My Heart’s Desire

I was thinking today about all the things I want – not material things necessarily, but things like a master’s degree, and financial security in general, to be a wife and mother – the big things. Some are even things I want in theory but in reality are part of my Babylon (we all have them. I first posted about mine here). I realize that sounds superficial. Sorry. But I did it anyway. As I was going through a mental list, I was talking to a friend online. He is an atheist/agnostic, in fact he loathes Christianity, and he has a terminal illness called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). There is no treatment (other than some treatments for the symptoms) and there is no cure. It is 100% fatal. It’s a progressive disease where the muscles of the body slowly weaken, first the limbs and then muscles of the heart and lungs. A person with DMD loses their ability to walk around age 10. Following that, they lose their ability to feed themselves, to write, to type. Around age 20, they lose their ability to breathe and start using a ventilator to help them. Around age 25, they are expected to die. The friend I was talking to today is 44. I consider it a miracle. I’m not sure what he would call it.

Anyway, as I was talking to him I realized that most of all I want to heal people in Jesus’ name. I really really do. I have been driven to tears in prayer many times, just asking God for this. I don’t want to be one of those traveling ministers who goes around and has huge ‘healing’ conferences. I just want to look at someone in a wheelchair, with a disease that has a 100% fatality rate, and see them with nothing but God’s heart and God’s love. From His love, walking in His love and the authority given to me as His heir, I want to tell that person to get up and walk. And they would. And they’d be cured. Not because I want credit for it….honestly, who but God could orchestrate such a miracle? I wouldn’t even try to glory-grab on that one. I want to heal because I know the lifetime of pain and being stigmatized and outcast and sometimes even institutionalized that such an illness brings with it. I want my friends to know true love and true peace beyond a shadow of a doubt. I want them to experience God on such a powerful level as a miracle healing. How great of a revelation of God’s love would that be?

Thinking about it, I remembered a day I was praying with my prayer partner, and we were praying about something else, but all of a sudden she prophesied over me that someday I would do exactly this. I would heal in Jesus’ precious and holy name. I hadn’t told her that was my dream. She saw it and prophesied it out of nowhere. Thinking about it today, I was once again moved to tears. I realized how much every material thing paled in comparison, if just one such healing miracle would take place. I realized how much I was holding to that. I thought of how Jesus’ disciples could heal people with their mere shadows. Their shadows. Do you know how close to Jesus they must have been for that to happen?

And with that, I suddenly had my true desire. I want to walk with Jesus that closely. To have Him be that big a part of my heart, to walk out in that pure of a love for my fellow man. Jesus, today I desire You with every fiber of my being. I don’t know exactly what I need to do to claim that prophecy and get to the point of healing someone. But I do thank Jesus with everything I have for giving me that priority check today, and bringing me back to that place of running after Him. The world is so temporary. I have no business getting bogged down in it. When I can take it or leave it as temporary, and depend solely on my Creator and Savior, that is when I become not just heaven-bound, but a citizen of heaven. That is when I can claim my inheritance in Christ and do works in His name. I can’t be worried about how quickly I can find a job. He knows what I need. He will give it. I just need to seek Him, and the rest will follow. Jesus I thank you every day that You are such a great and powerful and gracious God. That you see not only my immediate needs, and desire to provide for me, but that you see my heart’s desire as well. That when the time is right, you WILL use me as You see fit. Jesus help me to press in to you today. You are the lover of my soul. Help me to keep you in my sights as not only the presence I feel around me, the guiding spirit helping me, but as the true desire of my heart.  I love You, Jesus, with everything I am and all that I have.

Be praying for me that I seek Him as strongly as I need to, and that I walk in His will for me. Anything you need prayer over? Write to me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. God bless!!

~Rebekah A

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4 thoughts on “My Heart’s Desire

  1. I had to take deep breaths reading this because I could have wrote the later part of it word for word. Here is my prayer today – Lord, heal just by me talking about you – do not let your word return void, accomplish what you want to do. Heads up – finished reading a few chapters on Elisha – huge encouragement to the simplicity of expecting God to do amazing things.

    • So, I read Elisha, with this in mind. And I was so moved by how he went through that waiting apprenticeship period, but just training and learning and believing God for his life….and then he was finally claimed as Elijah’s heir and all kinds of miracles started happening. And it stirred me so much that I literally started singing about it. And I am NOT a singer. I even had a few chords going on the piano! You know it’s your heart’s cry when you burst into song over it. So thanks for pointing me to that!! God bless!

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