So I’ve failed at the praying 3 times a day and I just don’t know… I need His grace to see me through all this. I’m going out to see my boyfriend tomorrow for the weekend since I know I wouldn’t get a ton done here at the hospital and I have study materials I can use on the go (lectures in the car for my 3hr drive, flashcards on my phone, etc). I’m torn because a) he doesn’t know anyone I can stay with apparently so I have to get a hotel room… = $$$ which means I might end up in a seedy place since I don’t have a lot of it and b) I don’t know if I’ll get enough studying in but I also know that the stress is getting to me…
Save me. Save me from my own ideas and help me make the right choices. If I should stay here and study, locked in this dungeon feeling room then tell me. If I should go and see my boyfriend then pave the way. Help me know what to do because if anything, the fact the meeting tomorrow morning was cancelled makes it feel even more like I have a green light. So save me from making the wrong choice. I made the wrong choices last year with my ex and I don’t want to repeat that pattern of making choices without You in it or being so blinded by my own desires and wishes that I didn’t hear You saying “stop stop STOP!” Get through to me Lord, hear my cry of confusion and save me from myself.