So…. my boyfriend and I now broke up… So I guess he’s ex #2?  I just got off the phone with my mom and I’m SO thankful that she is in my life.  We prayed over the phone together and I couldn’t ask for a better mom.  He said that he asked me out too early and that we should just go back to being friends and even tough I’m not sure I said it out loud… I agree. We did date WAY too early. I don’t know why I had that much caution with another friend whom I had known for years and would never put me on the back burner like this guy did and yet with ex #2 I threw caution to the wind.

I do wonder though, because I’ve repeatedly been reading on how all these kings of Israel would follow a bad king, turn back to God and God would be please and yet over and over again it mentions “but the high places were not torn down.”  Is that my problem? I didn’t tear the high places down last time from ex #1 which is why I fell into kissing etc. with ex #2? Yet once again I still was able to stay safe from sleeping with him but I still passed the lines I had put up.

We’re going to remain friends he says. Ironically- after we’ve broken up- I’m meeting his parents tomorrow morning. It feels rude to just up and disappear after the plans have already been made and honestly- I still feel like God having said “you need to see things through” might be saying more? I’m so tired and confused I don’t know.

Pray for me dear readers- yet once again I dated a guy who broke up with me right before a big test- this time is my second boards for my medical license… I feel a fool for having allowed yet another guy into my life who would do this but I have to admit that I did push him a bit to this in a way because I asked him if he was in or out. He was clearly pulling out and I wasn’t going to have another “dumped via facebook” in my life again.  No woman deserves to be dumped via facebook.

Jesus,

As my mom said on the phone- I turn my eyes back to You once again. I struggled with it while I was dating ex #2 so I guess since the distraction is now gone, life can be good? Lord, please… I cannot take this too many more times. Just help me trust You with my life and learn to walk in Your ways.  No one can harm me when You are the one steering.  I love You Jesus with all my heart. Thank You that it’s not shattered like the first guy did. Thank You that You are wonderful and marvelous.  Thank You that there is none like You.  I worship You Jesus for You are good in all times and Your mercy endures forever.  I thank You Jesus for being my all in all.  I love You Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

Rebekah M.