This weekend has been a roller coaster. It started with my boyfriend and I breaking up and ended today with taking my 2nd step of medical boards. Through what should have been a very tough weekend (and in a way it was), Jesus was right by my side. It was like Jesus allowed the fire to come back into my life just to wake me back up.
This morning, instead of cramming a little more, I got up, danced in the darkness of my room, and worshiped the One who would be by my side this day and would give me the victory not based on anything I had done, but on who HE is. I danced before the King of all kings and thanked Him for who He is, knowing that He had the power to craft the test to exactly what I had studied.
As I look back on the last few days it’s amazing. Ex #2 and I talked MANY things out and although I’m sure there are more things that will come up- I think there’s hope of a REAL relationship developing one day. He was afraid of telling me what he really thought of me because he was afraid I’d be offended. As the misunderstandings started pouring out, and we talked things through, we started seeing each other in a new light.
The most amazing thing of this all is the fact that there are SO many coincidences of circumstances between ex #1 and ex #2 that I just can’t help but feel it is Jesus who is setting it up for me to see the stark contrast. Do I know that he won’t be like ex #1 and disappear on me just when he was acting like things would be getting better? No. But so far, EVERY time, he has acted the exact opposite of ex #1. He even kept his promise of texting me good luck this morning 🙂
Will we ever reconcile? I have no clue. I know his mom would love it though haa haa She adored me (I’m guessing as much as I adored her). She reminded me very, very much of my own mother in certain ways- mainly how the love of God just poured out of her so freely. Being as homesick as I am now (it’s been too many months since I’ve been home), it was wonderful being in a home where you could feel the prayers hovering over as a shield of peace for all who walked in.
To the song today- God has been calling me to just seek after Him with EVERYTHING that I have and let everything else fall away in the might of His glory. Problems cannot stand in it. Misunderstandings and misconceptions cannot stand in it. Darkness and sin cannot stand in it. To seek after Him with all that I have means giving Him much more than I have been- but also gaining all that much more in the end- whether in this life or the next.
The last time I was dumped, I played this song as I sobbed- knowing the world I thought I was going into had just disappeared like a vapor in the wind and tried with all my might to do this. To give God the reigns to have His way regardless of what that meant. This time around, I truly feel it!!!! Have YOUR way Lord! Should this guy truly leave me- so be it! You are still marvelous! Should this guy realize what he threw away- so be it! Have Your way!!! Jesus, should I have failed my boards today- so be it! Have YOUR way! Should I have aced it beyond all comprehension- Have YOUR way! There is NOTHING in this world that is bad when Jesus is having His way in our life! As I told a younger kid this weekend- if something is stopping or blocking it, don’t fight it- let God do that- perhaps it is God’s way of steering you towards the path you SHOULD be going!!!
Oh Jesus, have Your way in my life. I WILL seek after You. The rules and regulations so many Christians try to put on their lives fall away when we’re passionately pursuing after You. I love You Jesus. I love You Jesus. I love You Jesus with all that I have within me.
P.S. Rebekah A would like to request prayer. Check back here around noon tomorrow to read her post for the details and thank you all in advance for the prayers for her!!! God bless!