Not For Myself

“Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.” ~Psalm 115:1

I was actually praying that God would give me inspiration for today’s blog post. I had so many ideas swirling around my head, and no direction with any of them. I finally asked God to just lead me to a Bible verse and inspire me with it. Sure enough, a few hours later I was reading an article that started with this verse, and suddenly I had inspiration for a blog post. Thanks Jesus!! How cool is it that God is so mighty and yet so attentive to the cries of our hearts?  He’s so faithful, even in the small things!

Anyway, this verse and this Psalm resonated with me, because lately it almost feels like I’m banging my head against a wall. I pray so hard for people or over situations. I pray before I post comments on debates over Christian topics. I check in with God before approaching people directly. Sometimes it seems my prayers have no outward results. Other times there are visible results and it ends up being one step forward and two steps back.  It’s almost like there’s a battle going on. And I guess what I’m really looking for is proof that I’m successful in prayer, or that I’m ‘right’ in contacting someone I felt God tell me to contact.

This psalm made me stop and think. What do I want the confirmation for? Is it to feed my pride? To know I’m doing things right and moving in the right direction so I can continue? Maybe a little bit of both?  But…who am I praying for in these instances? Who am I trying to reach? Not myself. Sure I ask for things. I started this blog with an example of how I asked for something and God delivered it. But when I’m praying for others, it’s about them, and it’s about what role God wants me playing in their lives. It’s not about me at all, other than being a vessel. So why am I so set on getting confirmation for myself? It’s not my success that needs to be noted; this isn’t for my glory. It’s for God’s and God’s alone. He’s the one that deserves it, isn’t He?? I can be a vessel and nothing more when it comes to the work. But when it comes to the credit afterwards, or the progress happening, I always seem to want in.  This psalm reminded me that we are vessels when it comes to the results as well as the work. God is the One working through us, and God is the One who succeeds in the end, and if God is doing a work in someone, in the deepest part of them or on a spiritual level where I can’t see it, who am I to begrudge Him?

We all have a tendency to fall into this trap, but really it’s not our place. We each have tasks to perform under God, and we need to learn to trust God with all aspects of those tasks. We need to learn to lean on Him and Him alone for guidance and confirmation, and to trust Him to do the work in the meantime. That’s what it comes down to, really. Trust. Trusting in God to move even when you can’t see it. Trust that His ways are above our own and your prayers might be being answered in ways you can’t even comprehend. Trust that His plan is perfect, and your role in it is being orchestrated with His perfect knowledge of your heart. Trust in the Lord our God, our Counselor, Father, and eternal Savior.

Jesus, You’ve shown Yourself to be faithful and good always. You proved it to me again today. Help to remember Your faithfulness and take heart in it as I move in You. Help me to trust You and Your voice as I hear it and not depend on external things to validate what You call me to do. It’s Your voice I want to heed Lord, and for Your glory that I want to work. Jesus, I love You.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

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