“If you were a superhero, single men would be like your bat signal. ” ~ my prayer partner to me via text

I like men who are single.

I like men who love Jesus.

I like men who have things in common with me.

I like men who seem like they could lead a family towards Christ one day.

What can I say? It’s true. I cannot help myself.  I’m not sure if it’s a fear of not having a crush, but I like single guys who love Jesus. I meet a guy who seems into Jesus and somewhat interested in me (I easily mistake just friendship for a different kind of interest) and I can’t help but start wondering “what if?”  My mind goes off on tangents about them at times wondering what fun things we could do together that he would like, his good attributes, if he’s even thinking about me…

It’s sad.

It’s pathetic.

It’s human.

God calls us to love Him with an adoration though that surpasses any amount that I could ever have for another human being.  He calls me daily to love Him selflessly as much as He loved me first. How to get back there? How to drown out the noise in my head that buzzes about this guy or that guy? It seems I keep hoping that where ever I end up for residency, Jesus works it out that my future husband is there.  So that as I’m working in the field He has placed me, another working will come beside me and we’ll work for Him together.  Someone to daily encourage me to spread the Good News as I encourage him.  Someone to pray with me over life’s disasters and rejoice with me in the Lord in the good times.  Someone who will keep me sharp in Him.  To hold me up when I start to fall.

These things I wish for. These things I long for.  I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet because the man that I want… I don’t think he’d want me as I am yet.  I need to grow more in Jesus.  A man with all the qualities I want can wait until Jesus has a comfortable place as a very prominent #1 in my life. Until then, my flesh wants to continue dwelling on the guys but I need to, I have to, pursue after Christ with all that I am.

These are the confessions of a single christian female.

Rebekah M.