I’m frustrated with myself.
I have so many good things going for me and yet not getting a text from a virtual stranger today puts me in unrest.
Why? Why do I allow myself to be so easily distracted by things that shouldn’t even really make a difference to me?
Why can’t I just be content with the things in my life?
Why does it seem like I’m practically addicted to the thought of a new chapter of my life starting? I feel like there must be something wrong within myself if I just can’t seem to forget these people and things that shouldn’t matter. Is there hope? Maybe? It’s only been a week. Just one week since there was the first “hello” and yet this (most likely) first day without contact makes me feel unrest in my soul. He doesn’t even know You Jesus. He doesn’t even know who You are. Is this Your way of protecting me?
Give me content in my soul. Give me rest in my mind and heart. Help me learn how to find all that I need in YOU instead of anything or anyone else. You have been all that I needed in the past and this isn’t even a need, it’s just a frustration- mainly with myself. Why do I even care? He got my number from mutual friends and made first contact. If anything, I should feel rather assured and yet all I feel is annoyance at myself over this whole thing.
Save me from my own ruminations. Save me from my thoughts. Help me find peace and contentment within myself. I need You Jesus more than ever to help me learn contentment in You. I love You Jesus.