“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” ~Psalm 139:23-24
Many of my posts include a suggestion to let God “search your heart” and give guidance on the particular topic at hand. It’s amazing to me how often we neglect to do this. But letting God in is an imperative part of our walk. We need to open ourselves up to His examination and guidance, to let His perfect light shine into even the darkest corners and reveal what’s lurking there. It’s so important. So often it makes the difference between acting in service to God and acting in spite of God.
It’s also scary. We’re afraid to let God see those things because we’re afraid of what He’s going to ask us to do with them. Those isolated corners, those things we keep to ourselves, are part of us – maybe even the most honest part of us. When we’re done being whatever we need to be to those around us, that’s what’s left. It’s opinions and experiences that shape who we are and how we think. And without them, we’re not always totally sure who we are. And that can be terrifying because how do you shed something like that? Even though they come straight from the world, even though we know in theory that God has something better for us, what we currently have is tangible. And it’s us. So we cling to it.
But what you need to realize, what we all need to realize, is that God already sees it. He already knows those corners, what’s hiding behind our walls. He knows them intimately – and He loves us anyway. Loves us enough to not forsake us, and not leave us bereft when the time comes to give those things up to Him. Not only does He have an identity for us after we take those steps, but He also gives us the strength required to take those steps in the first place. And He can help ease the pain and fear of parting with anything we’re asked to. We just need to let Him in.
So today I ask you to take that step. Go to the altar and stand quietly before Him. Let Him in, and open yourself up to Him. Even His guidance and discipline is love – so let Him in to give it.