Beautiful Dependence

As our regular readers know, things have been a bit crazy here in NYC. My roommate’s best friend (and a good friend to me too) is in the hospital near death. We’re looking for a regular aide for my roommate, our former regular aide was hit by a bus, and our current one quit unexpectedly and left us stranded. Schedule-wise, we’ve entered an insanely busy time at my roommate’s work (and mine for the next three weeks as I do temp work), a stretch known to the rest of the country as March Madness. It’s a time marked by 19-hr work days and almost no sleep. And me? I’m rocking the long days, while still trying to support everybody who needs me, while still taking care of my roommate, which gets me even less sleep. And I’m getting sick.

These complaints are minor I suppose, in the grand scheme of things. But it is just enough on my plate to know that I can’t do it by myself. I’m exhausted, not feeling great, and basically making it on prayer alone. Which, as it turns out, is an awesome thing. Maybe I can’t do it by myself. But I also don’t have to do it by myself. I have God strengthening my body, and more importantly my spirit, in a way that 8 hours of sleep never could.

No, I’m not recommending that you skip sleep. But. It is mind-boggling how much we try to shoulder. We take everything upon ourselves, always adding more to our plates. We don’t even always accept God’s help. But He’s there to give it. He is there to carry us – burdens, heaping plate, and all.  And when I’ve turned to him for an extra spark needed to get through my day, He has come through every time. I get a lift, physically and spiritually. A smile shows up on my face. I get perky. And suddenly I find myself being a blessing and a light to everybody who is in the same boat as me. Basically, not only does He carry me through what I need to get done but He does it better than I could’ve done it in the first place!

I’m looking at this whole time, and my prayer partner put it into perspective for me, as a reminder to stay dependent. On my own, I am nothing. And not capable of too much. With my Provider, I can do whatever He calls me to do.

And how cool is it that God so loves everybody, even the ones who don’t know Him or don’t know Him well, SO MUCH that He is freely using me to bless all of these people in the midst of their most stressful time of year? He’s providing for me and providing for everybody else at the same time. Why wouldn’t we want to depend on a God like that?

Jesus, I thank You and praise You that You are so good and capable. I thank You for literally carrying me, for giving my body and spirit a strength that can only come from you.  I thank You for this reminder, and this blessing, and I pray that I would continue to seek you with abandon.

2 thoughts on “Beautiful Dependence

  1. Very encouraging words. Most people have experienced what it’s like to be stretched too thin. God already knows we can’t do it on our own, but when we come to that realization and truly partner with Him, daily miracles can become our life.

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