Tonight I visited my old college church. I love that church. It was there that I finally felt like I had met kindred spirits. There, I met people who liked to sit around Starbucks after service on a Sunday night and talk about preaching they had listened to earlier that week. There, I could close my eyes, worship God for all I was worth, and know that I was surrounded by others doing the same.
After I finished college, I stayed the summer afterwards to do clinical research in the ER. I was offered a low paying job to continue doing research and was contemplating staying since I loved it so much. As I sought the answer there was a lingering feeling that God wanted me to go home. I didn’t want to. All my memories of my high school church were of feeling like the odd person out- someone who wanted to be there instead of someone who was made to be there by her parents. Someone who didn’t want to sneak out to go party like the rest of the youth group. One who didn’t get pregnant out of wedlock unlike 2 of the 4 females my age there.
And so, as I felt God tell me more and more I had to go home, I fought it. One night at home group they asked what we were afraid of and with tears in my eyes I said I was afraid that God was telling me to go home. I explained my fears. Low and behold the next Sunday the pastor (who knew nothing about our care group’s goings on- the church had 500 members at the time) preached on Elijah after Mount Carmel crying to God saying how he was the only prophet left. God essentially told him to get up and go do what He told him to do and he wasn’t the only one, there were 7,000 prophets who had never bowed to Baal, a false God that many Israelites had bowed down to.
Tonight, the preacher (someone else) taught on that EXACT SAME PASSAGE and spoke on fear. With it, I felt God playing almost a memory reel in my mind of all that had transpired in that time. In the last six years my faith has been tested to the max at times. I have been pushed to the brink of almost leaving the church once from persecution within the church, and another time for a guy. Both times God has fought through the haze in my life to send me a lifeline. What a wonder, mighty God who loves me so much! I cannot praise Him enough.
I share all this to say to you dear readers that God loves you just as much! In His infinite wisdom and love, He is reaching out to you too! He will catch you when you fall! He will watch over your every move with the love of Father who only wants the best for you. Trust in Him. Trust in His plan. Know that He only wants your best.