I’ve been struggling a bit over the last couple of weeks. For the most part, I’ve kept this completely to myself. I tend to share the good things going on in my life and hide the not so good things. Last week when it was my turn to post on Being Rebekah, I just posted a simple prayer because I wasn’t ready to let the blogging community know about my struggle. Indeed, I’m still not ready.
But as things have a way of doing; my struggle has come to the light. I whispered a text to a friend to let her in. God Himself whispered a word of knowledge to several others. I’ve alluded to these struggles before on such posts as: Confident in His Love, Disquieted, and When Sadness Creeps in.
The amazing thing is that since things have come out into the open, God has rallied a wonderful support team around me. They have offered godly counsel, a shoulder to cry on, prayer and have even fasted for me. I am truly blessed. And yet, I’m still struggling. I feel incredibly guilty about that.
They give me good advice: you need to worship through it, you need to praise through it, you need to choose God, you must choose to hold on Him, don’t try to overcome by your own strength; you need to rely on Jesus etc. etc. It’s all wonderful advice, it truly is. But what I hear is: You’re screwing it up, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it wrong. The problem is not with the advice, the problem is with me.
They are all working so hard to support me with love, prayers, and fasting that I feel pressured to report that things are magically all better. I feel if I admit that I’m still struggling that I’m letting them down. I’m failing despite everyone’s best efforts. I owe them better and I owe God better.
I don’t know what the solution is. I’m not writing with my grand spiritual revelation on how I got beyond my struggle with the help of the Lord. I have no idea how to get beyond it and this blog post is simply my attempt at not sugar coating it the way that I’m tempted to do. Here’s what I do know: through Jesus, this too shall pass.
In His Love,
Rebekah L
Being Rebekah 
Amen. I completely understand where you are, because I’ve been there, too – more than once, but one particular season was the worst and lasted the longest. It will pass. Here is a song that I hope will encourage you…
It’s amazing how just knowing someone out there understands a bit of what I’m going through can encourage me. Thanks for the comment and for the link to the song! God bless!
Please know it’s ok that you are still struggling! You are NOT letting anyone down, including the LORD. This is a low time in your life and sometimes, we are allowed to stay there for His purposes. Allow yourself to be ministered to by your friends and continue to seek His face; don’t allow yourself to set a limit on how long this should take. Please don’t despair the fact that you are not there yet. You are in the valley right now, take advantage of the cool, calming waters of the LORD. In His time, He will provide you with the answer you need. May the LORD grant you peace and comfort today.
This comment really ministered to me. Thank you for reminding me that it’s in His timing, not in my own. That takes a lot of the pressure off of me. May God bless you mightily today.
I like that you remember “this too shall pass.” It is still painful. For me, when I start to sink, I just focus on the next step. God loves us the same whether we are up, down, or just taking baby steps until we are back to normal.
Blessings ~ Wendy
Amen! Thank you!!
I know exactly what you are going through.
I too am going through struggles of suffering, faith, spiritual warfare, etc.
I understand the desire to try to measure up by trying to cope with the suffering with a “good Christian performance”. I try all of the steps mentioned above, ask God how and leave it at His feet, (to the best of my ability).
I just thank God that we are not justified by our performance but by His performance in His life and His suffering for our sins.
I thank God that we can be real and let the mask down and admit our failures because He didn’t fail, hasn’t failed, and will never fail us.
He’s been in our shoes. He knows what we’re going through and He loves us with an everlasting love. (It is written 🙂
I just listened to a really great sermon on suffering and God’s grace. I pray that God will show you the value of what you’re going through.
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/praying-our-tears
With love, from your sister in Christ.
Christina
I really appreciated this comment. Great reminders here that we can admit our failures and that God will never fail us. I needed that! Thanks for the great link to the sermon also!!
I really like the title of this article because I’m also learning to say “This too shall pass” because the Bible tells me in 2Corinthians 4:17 “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;”…it is all “but for a moment”.
That’s a perfect Scripture for this situation! Sometimes in the moment the suffering can feel like it lasts forever, but when we are on the other side of it, we can look back on it and realize it wasn’t so long after all and it was worth it because it helped us to grow in Him. When we get to eternity, we will see how this lifetime was over in a flash and whatever affliction we suffered truly was “light” in the light of His love and mercy.
As the light soon will begin to shine, the darkness will pass, and understanding will be received. This I believe from Jesus.
Thank you so much for the reminder. It is true, the light is coming. One day I’ll be able to look back and understand why I had to go through this time of struggle. God Bless you.
Praying for you! I know how you feel. I often do the same thing and since I live alone in another country I’ve been doing it more than ever. Although sharing with a confidant is great relying on God to somehow get you through what you can’t manage on you own fully and completely is an amazing thing. So glad you have the blessing of a good support system!
Yes, I am blessed with a good support system. In a way, that is one of the blessings to come out of this trial because I wasn’t really aware of how much of a great support system I truly have. I never expected people to rally around me the way that they have. I know how difficult living alone can be at times, I can’t imagine how hard it is for you living in another country. Thank you for your prayers. I will pray for you also!
Thanks!!! It’s amazing that God can give you people to pray for you that you don’t even know. I love having brothers and sisters in Christ. Such a blessing:)
It really IS such a blessing! We are meant to be ONE body in Christ so when one of us is struggling, things like time and distance don’t need to hinder us. God’s design is amazing! God bless you!
I know how you feel. Remember God is always present, whether you feel Him or not, and He has good plans for you. I shared about a season of depression I went through during my college years at kdmanestreet.wordpress.com called “My Lifeboat.” It is at the bottom of my “About Me” page. . . .Although it was a painful time, God taught me some valuable things and revealed Himself to me in a way I would not have known otherwise. Keep yourself in the Word and around supportive people. You are in my prayers.
I appreciated your testimony in My Lifeboat. It was a good reminder to me that God is still here and that I just need to hang on. Thank you.
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Remember Peter fell and stumbled, but Christ always stood ready to extend His helping hand, pray for and comfort. What a comfort it is to know that we are children of a loving and compassionate God who understands our struggles without condemning us. Just like a parent who picks you up when you stumble and fall while learning to walk, Christ walks beside us; picks us up and helps us try it again; one step at a time. Oh how He love us!
Oh how He loves you, Rebekah!!! I’m praying for you…
Thank you so much. We truly do serve a wonderful, loving, compassionate God! I am amazed at how He continues to pick me up time and time again when I stumble. I appreciate the prayers. God bless!
” Here’s what I do know: through Jesus, this too shall pass.” And that my dear says it all – it WILL pass and you will go on to learn more about Him. We are our own worst critics and we beat ourselves up more than we should. To struggle is natural, we are surrounded by flesh, the world, Satan’s attacks and just the hammer of everyday things. The key is to remember simply this, Jesus loves me! It can be hard to filter that one truth through the accusations of Satan (that is what self-condemnation is) but it’s not impossible.
I was recently studying Zechariah 3:1-7; it was an eye opener and an encouragement. If I may encourage you to do the same I pray that you will be comforted.
I’ll be praying for you Rebekah,
Rebecca 🙂
I have been so overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness and words of encouragement. Thank you so much for leaving the Scripture and for the prayers!
You’re welcome precious one, be blessed! 🙂