Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. ~Ex 20:12
So I have a confession to make: in everything that has happened in my life I’m pretty successful on paper, but I have had one HUGE, MAJOR flaw. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, but I’ve treated him pretty horrible in the past. I just have this pre-set tendency to be angry and to yell at him. Do I have reasons for this- yes. I honestly feel like he doesn’t hear me. I’m not even talking physically, I mean I feel like he shuts me out when I’m speaking. So earlier this morning, my mom sat me down and we had a discussion about it. With tears in her eyes, she was pleading with me to treat my dad right. For anyone who knows me, they know that I love my parents SO much. I praise them often and, in my mind, I think respect them. God has used my mom (and kind of my brother) to open my eyes to the fact that I haven’t been. Of every one in my life, my mom is THE person to get through to me and for God to have her essentially crying before me… it ripped up my heart a little.
It is never right for a child to yell at her father. Even if she’s saying “Mashed potatoes. Hey dad, I want mashed potatoes. Just tell mom I want mashed potatoes! DAD, TWO WORDS- MASHED POTATOES YOU CAN SAY THAT TO HER! WHY WON’T YOU JUST LISTEN AND TELL HER THOSE TWO WORDS?! MASHED. POTATOES.” lol At the end of the day if I had just opened the car door and said it to my mom versus yelling at my dad (who was getting out of the car) to relay those words when all he kept saying in response was “tell your mother,” what’s the difference?
I realized the difference and why I didn’t just go the more peaceful route is because I just feel unheard. And in thinking about it, I realized that I HATE feeling like I’m not heard. For so long, a huge part of my life, I felt SO ignored and looked down upon. Not necessary by my parents, but I have had moments where I felt I had no voice and the memory of that feeling has never left me.
So as time has gone on and more and more incidents have occurred that left me feeling like I’m not heard (not always by my dad), it caused me to become quick to anger and yell at my dad. Was it right? NO. A big “N.” “O.” Am I justifying my actions? No because I have truly broken one of the 10 commandments. I have endeavored from this day forward to honor my father even when I feel like he doesn’t hear my words. However, I am saying that the biggest key in everything that happened today was to recognize within myself the “WHY” behind my actions.
I sat down with both my parents earlier today to talk things through and my dad actually literally did EXACTLY what I said was the reasoning behind why I acted the way I did- he shut me out. He literally would not hear my words. I was saying “I’m sorry for how I acted, it was unacceptable behavior and I’m sorry. I reflected and realized it was because for so long now, I have felt as if you don’t hear me and I’m sorry that my frustration about that has come out as yelling.” His response? To say that I’m moving in a few short days so it doesn’t really matter and all I was saying to him was that yet once again, it’s his fault- always his fault- none of mine. Miracle of miracles though- even though he was literally proving my point- I didn’t yell. I actually prayed. “God, give me wisdom to know how to reach my dad. Help me mend this bridge that I have broken with my anger and yelling. Forgive me and help me honor him.”
Sometimes we’re called to swallow our pride and just keep apologizing until the other person accepts it. If that never happens though- I know that today, I honored my father like I never have before and I know that God is smiling. So dear readers, pray for my dad? I know he loves me, but I also know that he has SUCH a weight on him from everything else going on and this only added to it. I allowed myself to be an instrument of further burden to my dad. My brother’s job has been in the balance lately, my “sister” has been in a spiritual battle, I’m moving away officially… there’s a lot weighing on his heart. He needs God’s peace. He needs God’s love to shine on him more than ever. So in advance, I thank you for your prayers for peace over my dad and I pray you all do a better job at honor your parents than I have done in my past 🙂
In Him and to a new future of truly honoring my parents,
Rebekah M.
Being Rebekah 
Isn’t that also so for some, and our Heavenly Father? Don’t we also sometimes feel like yelling because we feel like we are not heard? Is it not like feeling punished, unheard, but in the end find great love for our Father who has always been listening, but gave us a chance to heal our broken heart, and to always love no matter how hard the road may seem, providing us strength to always love no matter what. Isn’t this something Jesus also went through? Wasn’t he also persecuted because he wasn’t heard by those in the world, but he found great strength remained with him, as his love remained in love of God our Heavenly Father. God strengthens us in ways we do not always understand. Love binds us bounded by love.
Yes God’s love is unending and He will never turn us away, He will never not accept our apologies, and He will never give up on us 🙂 What a wonderful, mighty, merciful, sweet God! 🙂
Thank you for reminding me that my strength is in God 🙂 I would appreciate any prayers for my dad- he’s even started recognizing that he’s in a spiritual battle and getting beat down by it. A prayer of strength and peace over him would be SO appreciated!! And if you have anything you’d like for something to be prayed about, feel free to share (even privately on the beingrebekah@outlook.com email address) 🙂
I too feel beat spiritually but I don’t give up, I know change is taking place not just with myself but many others too, such as your father. God hears your heart plead.
yes Jesus did!!! check out my lastest post and THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS! 🙂
very well written! I will pray for your dad. I am currently going through somewhat of a similar and have just become aware of it…. I pray that God helps me with my anger like He did with you.
Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers!!!!! And if God could get me to calmly continue to apologize, to even weep in apology to my father who was doing EXACTLY what I said made me normally yell… God can do that for everyone 🙂 Even if he was shutting me out, it doesn’t give me a right to disobey a commandment of God. Let us all have God’s strength to be angry but sin not. God doesn’t say we can’t have emotions, but He does say we must honor our father and mother and yelling at my dad definitely is NOT that.
amen!!!
I love how you share from your heart. Thank you! This is a great message!
awww thanks Toni!! it’s always great hearing from you and we love your words too! I’m going to look for some more potential guest posts from your blog so get ready for me (or Rebekah A) to ask you on some specific ones in the near future! haa haa 🙂
My dad has hurt me pretty bad (he hurt our family to be more procise). Although I have forgiven him, that closeness we once shared has gone. I completely am grateful for this post.
I’m so touched by your response. Sincerely. I hope that this (and my follow-up post I just wrote) help you to release some things weighing on you heart for I learned, they truly are a weight. God truly does bless us when we just pray 🙂 I’ll be praying for you! 🙂
Thank you for the encouragement, and I will be sure to read the follow up.
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Good post – and you are right, sometimes we need to just apologize, even when we don’t feel heard for we are honoring Our Father – God by honoring those on earth. He sees, even if they don’t.
Please pray Father God brings restoration to my siblings and mother. Thank You God is Faithful. For God too brought healing to my relationship with dad (former enemy) Praise God of Peace.
amen! Praise the God of Peace 🙂