Lately, it’s felt like I’ve been constantly fighting against a current that’s stronger than me. I’ve already been in a place of laying down my life for my roommate; now his aide has started going to class so I’m called to shoulder even more. I finally got some work, but just babysitting; this, in and of itself, has been chafing my college-educated, career-minded pride. Since we’re not supposed to have any pride anyway, I’m trying not to let that bother me too much. But the mother I’m sitting for keeps cancelling on me so it’s basically like having no work at all. Even little things, things I’ve done a million times and things that are part of my normal routine, have been extra difficult or tedious. Everything’s inexplicably taken longer than normal and way more unforeseen problems have come up than normal.
I’ve been trying not to get frustrated, but it’s been hard. It’s been hard watching holes appear in my clothes and shoes and still trust God to provide. It’s been hard watching the bills come in, exhausting all of my financial options with no end in sight, and still trust that God is going to come through.
But today God showed me that He’s still got my back. Maybe His timing to ease specific problems in my life hasn’t come to fruition yet, but He showed me He’s still with me. Today everything was easier. My time was multiplied. Daily tasks were even easier than normal. I even went for a run and it was easier than it’s been in about 2 years. Every step of the way today, He was literally showering blessings upon me. Just little things – but they made a huge difference!
It was just refreshing to know that no matter what my circumstances are, He’s still there and still my Provider!