I have struggled the last few months with the aftermath of guy leaving. It went from crazy amazing to nothing in almost no time and I was reeling from it all. He played an important part in God washing away insecurities and revealing past mistakes I never allowed myself to let go of, but I just couldn’t let go of him not keeping his word. He broke his word SO much when I look back on it- it was a weekly occurrence with things like “we’ll pray tonight, I promise you” and he just wouldn’t call etc. God has shown me and been releasing me from that sadness that he just couldn’t live up to who he portrayed himself to be. The crazy part… I keep STRONGLY feeling Him ask me “do you trust me?” and I KNOW He means about my future husband. I keep saying “I trust You Lord” and then I feel Him wash over me and say “I am coming in power.”
I don’t fully understand what this all means, but I have never felt this strongly to just stop worrying about my future husband, know that He’s got it taken care of, and just live this abundant life.
Every Valentine’s day since I was 18, I have been bitter. Never having had a valentine before in my life mixed with being diagnosed with diabetes a few short days later (and having been waiting on the bloodwork during the days before) has made me HATE it. I would rather gouge me eyes out, pierce my ear drums, and die a thousands deaths than deal with the day. This year however, I had peace! True, God given peace. I felt Him tell me that “it’s just not for you this year, but I love you, I died for you, it is enough.” And it was!!! I was SO thankful to God for dying for me on the cross all day, I could feel my gratefulness to Him pouring out of my heart and it made it light and free!
He has an abundant life for you too! If you have dreams that feel broken, dried, or forgotten, just know that He is a God who is! He is our salvation! He is our joy! He is our peace! He is our future! Pursue your daily tasks with joy (like today I practiced piano for over an hour because I’m doing the music for my church’s Easter service) and find in Him peace and love to face another and, in His timing, an outpouring of His blessings 🙂