There is so much to say and yet so little time. I am torn between writing on my personal life and my work life and tofu won out. God has been moving in both. As of just a few hours ago, I am no longer talking to the latest guy but I learned much. He is truly one of the most genuine, nicest guys I have met in the church yet. So far I have met so many fakers. Guys who broke my heart in cruel ways. Ones who claimed Christ and yet whose actions were so far from Him who forgave them. When I called my mom to tell her good news about work (which I will write about in a future post) and the other news about the guy, she confessed that she had just prayed for God to reveal His will for us. If the guy was the one for things to continue, but if not, for things to fall apart. And fall apart they did… over tofu.
He was telling me how he hated tofu, could not stand the stuff. One must understand that he was telling that to an Asian practically raised on tofu from birth. It is the substance of my favorite drink, in many of my favorite dishes and my go-to for daniel fasts. When I asked him his context for hating it he stated his friend (from Tennessee who was clearly white) made it for him once and it was horrible so he would never have any more ever again; end of discussion.
He would not hear of how there are actually multiple kinds of tofu; multiple preparations. Fried, microwaved, as a dessert, as a main dish – front stinky tofu to sweet, there is NO way that ONE dish can encompass EVERY kind of tofu. Yet he still held his ground, he still closed his mind.
That was the breaking point.
He is a very sweet man; he is a wonderful guy. We are very compatible together in certain aspects. But where I love to explore and try new things I feel he is very set, rigid, unwilling to change. He hates vegetables; I try to put them in all dishes. He finds no issue with worldly music; I love immersing myself in songs that sing of God’s mercy, love, and glory. I have literally been used by God to heal lungs, deliver a check truly in the hour of need (THE HOUR, not just as a figure of speech), and speak timely words from Him; he could only say “wow… you’re much more spiritual than me.” The list goes on, but truly, at the end of the day he is a genuinely good guy- I cannot and will not say otherwise.
But I am called for more.
I kept hearing my good friend, a pastor’s wife, say to me “[Rebekah M.] you have to be careful who you choose because you can NEVER rise above your husband’s anointing.” All I could see in my head was all the yearly medical missions trips that I hope to one day make where bodies and souls will be ministered to. The bible studies… The little ones. My future children who will hopefully one day serve Him practically from the cradle.
He is a good man, one who tries to honor God- but when I talked about how I needed a man who would be in my corner, tearing down spiritual strongholds through prayer and one that would be happy go anywhere and do anything for God… he sadly stated that he knew he could not rise to the task.
And so here I sit- post tofu conversation. Alone. But knowing more than ever that my calling is more important that even a guy. That whatever task my God has for me, I am willing to abandon all for Him and the cause of sharing with all that He is a God of love. That Jesus Christ died for our sins and that through Him, not only can we have an abundant life, but we can have eternal life too.