So the work problem… for 10 weeks (8 of those straight) I had a senior resident that was relentless. He yelled at me for things like not starting night rounding when HE wanted me to- even if I had reasons for holding off on them. Once a different senior trumped what I wanted to do, then when this senior found out what was eventually chosen he told me I was wrong to do so and then went around the table asking EVERYONE what I should have chosen… even to the guy who made me switch the medication. He didn’t stand up for me- he just let me be humiliated for a decision that was not my own. It was a daily event to feel as if everything I was doing was wrong- but I survived… so I thought.
To be honest, I have spent multiple sessions sobbing. At times I cannot seem to stop. I survived hell only to have the program sit me down and tell me there were concerns that I could be a senior resident… that I could graduate on time. I eventually learned it was that same resident who went to the faculty without ever speaking to me and told them all his concerns… and they never asked me my side of things.
I felt like one who had taken a brutal beating that practically required hospitalization and was then arrested for being beaten. I paid my dues, I shouldn’t be questioned anymore, I paid my debt.
Through all this though I feel God telling me to take up my crown as His royal daughter and stop the abuse. No one should be yelled at with the F-word used in the sentence. No one should be asked if they need help but then yelled at for saying yes.
For months the last song on my Jamie Grace CD wouldn’t work and then today it did! I felt God intimately whispering to my heart this thought- I’m not alone. He is by my side. Enjoy this assurance from Our Lord- Jesus Christ. You’re not alone.