I love Star Trek- most of all The Next Generation. In Season 5 there is an episode of a woman who had been hidden originally in a carrier and was released early by some aliens who were trying to steal her for she was of great worth. You see, she was the perfect woman. Able to tell and adapt to the needs of any man she was with and if she bonded with a man, she would forever be perfect for only him. If he was good, upstanding, compassionate, and kind so would she. If he was ruthless, full of wrath, and greedy- so would she become. By the end of the episode, this woman decided to bond (not in flesh) with Picard because she most liked who she was when she was with him and wanted to be the best version of who she could. She would still go on to marry someone else for the peace of two worlds, but that man would not influence who she was at her core. She still had the ability to tell what that man liked, but the choices of her actions would be weighed against the set of morals created in her by bonding with captain Picard.
All my life I have searched for a man to love. Even from a young age I read novel after novel of good Christian men loving women and despite all the problems in their way, they always ended up together through God’s grace. I have so desperately wanted that kind of love story- one in which Christ clearly was the matchmaker and in which he and I would be a living example of Christ and the church. To have a man who would love me THAT MUCH that I could submit to him knowing that he would put my needs above his own.
Lately, when I think of that guy I’ve thought of that episode and just not understood how he could play with our relationship so lightly when I was willing to adjust my habits/thinking for him (for times he said an action scared him or reminded him of his ex wife). To be who he needed, even in his broken state. But this morning, I felt God ask to be my Picard. To finally, officially choose to mold myself after Him like she did with my favorite TV captain. There is no greater man to try to mold my heart and soul after than Him. There is no one who will ever love me greater than Him. If I make Him my perfect mate- the One that I mold myself after- I can still marry another here on earth but he will not influence me at my core. I will always be my favorite version of myself if I bond with Jesus as she did Picard.
Help me mold my heart to You. Help me be love, purity, holiness, meekness, joy, and more. Let me bear the fruit of Galations 5:22-23. Help me stand on Your Word and believe that I can be a new creature in You. Help me believe that even with other guys in my past, YOU are my true heart. YOU are the one I am my best self with and solidify me in You so that no man can influence that.
Molding to Jesus,
molding myself to his image
Beautiful. True. I pray the woman I end up with one day is bonded so wholly to Christ, that my flaws and my shortcomings don’t matter at all, because I’m not even close to perfect. That’s the woman for me.