Kintsukuroi

goldpottery

Something I’ve been struggling with has been how broken I have felt after the last guy I was talking to turned around and married someone else four months after he last told me he loved me. I had even asked him to get permission from my dad and pastor to date me even though I was thirty because I believe in honoring the authority in my life.

Long story short, it was revealed that he was flirting with multiple other women at the same time to the point one felt the need to send me screen shots of his texts since she knew my side of things. I have felt SO duped. A complete and utter fool especially since on a night where he was telling one he was so sad he didn’t have a chance with my friend, I was fighting with my best friend on why he was worth my time because financially, degree-wise, and many other “wise” she felt he was vastly inferior to me.

I have been struggling ever since though with the thought of dating guys; to trust I’m not going to get played again so badly. I lost ALL hope that God could ever want for me a good, Godly man when the last one seemed so promising (seriously? He really did ask my dad and pastor to date me) and turned out to be such a monster towards me.

Lately there has been a (sort of) new guy in my life who laughs when I say I think I’m going to be a UPC nun- sure that I won’t be, who has gone out of his way many times to see me/get to know me better, who wants me to believe as he does- that God loves us enough to have someone for each of us.

God then for the next week pushed the concept of reviving hope and promises in our lives through sermons and multiple people. I even fasted this past Monday, seeking a revival in hope in my heart. This week has felt much more blessed that I have felt in a long time. When perusing Facebook, I saw the above photo and felt so strongly this is what God does with us. He bonds our brokenness with His blood (the product of his stripes) and in place of our wounds is such beauty that we never could have imagined. I’m thankful for a God who truly can give us beauty for ashes!!!! 🙂

Hopeful in Him,

Rebekah M.

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