Guest Spot: MJ of The Peace Filled Life “Plan B”

May26

Editor’s Note: Our weekly guest spot is our effort to help our reading community connect with each other. MJ’s post on contentment in our moments reminds us of the truth that “…godliness with contentment is great gain” (I Tim 6:6). Thank you for sharing MJ!

I spent too long believing I was living Plan B. I thought that if I had just done X, Y and Z, I would be living Plan A. For now I was waiting, doing my “penance” – until Plan A would magically appear, and my “real” life would start and I would live happily ever after.

I could not have been any more wrong.

In reality, I have many blessings in my life – a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a house in the suburbs, reliable transportation, and a good job. My family has food, water, clothing, indoor plumbing, electricity, heat, air conditioning, and modern appliances. I have an awesome extended family, many good friends, a great church and community.

And yet what did I find myself concentrating on? The ONE thing that I did not have. Is that not the most ungrateful thing you ever heard of?

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). John 10:10

The evil one has one goal for your life – to steal your joy, kill your spirit and destroy your life. God wants you to have life! Not just in the life to come, but in this very life that you are living now. Not just merely an existence, but to the full, till it overflows!

Living my life as if it were Plan B was not what God intended. God made life for enjoying!

If I concentrate on the what ifs, and the if onlys – I will live my life disappointed, angry and bitter. But if I concentrate on accepting the many gifts that Christ has given me, I will have joy and peace.

In May of 2011, I had enough. I made a decision:

I chose joy and peace.

I chose to enjoy where I am.

I chose to accept the path that God designed for ME.

To be honest, 2011 was one of the most painful years of my life. Yet after I made that decision –

I had never felt more joy and peace in my life.

I had never heard God’s voice so clearly nor felt His presence so abundantly.

I had never been more secure in the fact that I AM living the Plan that God intended for ME.

His Plan is good. I choose this. Do you choose this?

* * *

“Seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14b)

MJ is a mom, wife, career woman, and follower of God. She is passionate in her quest to “seek peace and pursue it”. Her blog can be found at http://thepeacefilledlife.wordpress.com

See the original post at: http://thepeacefilledlife.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/plan-b/

Published by permission of the author. Submit your own post at beingrebekah@outlook.com.

Guest Post: Rebekah M’s Mom “Entering the Restricted Zone”

Apr14

Editor’s Note: Our weekly guest spot is our effort to help our reading community connect with each other. I am excited that my mom, who is currently in a Bible College program, has allowed us to post one of her previous papers she wrote for a class. Based on the book Entering the Restricted Zone by Steve Willoughby, she writes on events that I witnessed while growing up that show God’s amazing ways and how His hand has been on her and my family all our lives. ~Rebekah M.

Sometimes when the storms of life come, if we are not prepared, it can be devastating. Many years ago, some unfortunate misunderstandings caused someone in the church to mistrust our family. The more we tried to prove ourselves, the more the situation got worse, and eventually we really did not know how to get out of it. We were all praying and seeking God’s direction. Soon everyone got the answer except for me. I felt I was left out and I cried out to the Lord. Three days later, a lady in the church said that she needed to talk to me. She said she had been praying for me the whole week and that God has a word for me. God wanted her to say this to me: ‘There are three moments. “Moment before moment, I will give you peace”, “Moment before moment, I will give you peace”, “Moment before moment, I will give you peace”’. When she was speaking, the Holy Ghost told me that I was in the second moment. I felt the love of God because He sent someone to pray for me and gave His word to comfort me. I realized that this was a spiritual battle and God had allowed it to happen so we would learn an important life lesson. God has promised, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Heb 13:5). Yes, my husband and I, because we are confident in His love, were able to overcome the situation.

I know my calling and passion is to love and care for the people who have needs and I enjoy doing that as well because I am eager to share with others the love I have received from God. Then a few years ago, while I was happy and busy helping some people who have needs, something was secretly going on behind my back. Someone had spread rumors and false accusations about my motivation for helping others. I was accused with untrue matters from the distorted information. I was even betrayed by a very good friend whom I trusted and highly respected. When this thing happened, it was so hard to accept and way beyond my understanding. I was confused and scared. I thought “If God really, really, loved me; He would not let me go through this.” I was so hurt. I wrapped myself in pains and agony and I cried myself to sleep for several days. This time the storm had struck me really hard. Then at my lowest point, God reminded me of my third moment. Suddenly I realized that this is my third critical spiritual battle and I was not fighting the battle on my own; I have God and the support of my family. He then taught us how to fight this battle and the key was humility and submission. We were determined to hold on to His Love, stick with our faith and endure to the end. Praise the Lord; once again, through the help of the Lord, we overcame the situation.

I know when God allow trials and tests to happen in my life, it is for my own good. He used those situations to make me strong. Through the difficult times, I have learned how to trust Him and do things His way. Because of the confidence I have in His love, I have joy. And this joy that I have, the devil did not give it to me and devil cannot take it away!

Rebekah M’s mom is a loving housewife who lives the Bible and seeks to be His light where ever she is.

Published by permission of the author. Submit your own post at beingrebekah@outlook.com.

Rough Day

Mar14

An upright man gives thought to his ways (Proverbs 21:29)

So today was rough. I started the day with finding out I missed something on a patient that, although not fatal, was a BIG thing to miss. Nothing bad happened, but I shouldn’t have missed it. Later on, I had a huge blow when a test showed another one of my patients had a silent but potentially deadly condition. One where a person can go from looking fine to dead in just a few minutes.

It really got to me. I had instantly bonded with this patient and his wife and, although he was fine at the moment, knowing that he was so seriously ill (although it was not evident looking at him) got me to the core. Being emotionally invested in my people means that when they are hurting, I hurt. When they aren’t doing well, it makes me feel a bit like I’m not doing well. It makes me a good doctor, but it also makes me vulnerable to burnout.

Recently, another student joined my team. We start the day at the same time, work in the same office space, and typically have most of our meals together. He’s even made it his mission to have me watch the entire series of Scrubs (all 8, not counting the fake 9th season). We essentially spend most of our day together until I pray with my family at night or go to church.

Knowing that I was so emotionally compromised today, I had a moment where I thought, “I must be careful. I am missing [the guy I just let go], I am spending LOTS of time with this guy every day, my heart is hurting for my patient, and my pride is hurt from my missing that thing yesterday. I need to be careful.”

So what did I do? I talked to a friend that I knew would lay it to me straight. Luckily, since I was preemptively seeking help, she mainly confirmed that yes, I was right to be concerned and it was good I was being mindful and careful. Are there times where he’s flirty with me? She confirmed that yes, when he does things like taking my stethoscope from around my neck even though he had his in his pocket and taunted me about it in front of the nurses, that was flirting. But she also confirmed that that’s why it was good I was reaching out NOW, BEFORE anything was happening. The best part was that she even prayed with me and prayed over me about this.

I think I’m growing. This time with a guy who seems attracted to me but not someone I can date (since he does not believe like I do), I am seeking God in prayer. This time I am saying “Lord, I’m weak, I know that I’m vulnerable to being attracted to this guy. Help me God, help me be good. Help me not do anything wrong. Help me Jesus.” Like the above verse in Proverbs, I feel like I am reflecting on my past and knowing that just because he’s not in church, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to his charms. It just means that Jesus is my strength. That even on rough days, I can find comfort in Him, not in a guy’s hug (mental or physical). That even on days when I’m worried for my patients and was just reprimanded, God is good and holds me through it. I don’t need a guy to cheer me up, just Jesus.

Thank You Lord for helping me through this rough day. Thank You God that I didn’t turn to man (or a man in this case) but I turned to You. Thank You God that I am safe in Your arms. Thank You Jesus for giving me strength to be good and not offer anything more than just friendship. I praise You. I worship You. I love and adore You Jesus more than anything else and I love that I can say it and mean it!!!

Rebekah M.

A True Servant

Mar1

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” ~ Galations 6:2

Lately, life has been crazy. Between helping my roommate’s aide daily (who is still in agony, can sometimes put on his own shoes, but not his own jacket, can only eat soft foods and can’t walk unassisted), having him spend nights at our house so his wife can go back to work, helping cover his old duties while we train a new aid, it’s busy. Plus, the house is falling apart (I swear every piece of furniture we own is in cahoots). So it’s been busy.

And through the busy, God has been showing me something. When we’re left to our own devices and we see a need, we may try to fill it. We’ll do ‘what we can’. But very often, ‘what we can’ isn’t exactly what we can do, but what we want to do. In a lot of ways, even under the guise of doing a good deed, we ration our help. We determine what is convenient for us to give.

And while those good deeds are indeed helpful, we really only get the true heart of a servant when we push past our self-imposed boundary. When we lay aside what is convenient for us to give and truly give according to God’s calling to fulfill the need before us, that is when we become servants. Servants don’t do their lord’s bidding when they have a spare second. They put themselves aside. They see their lord as more important than they are, and they do his bidding when he tells them to.

So too are we called to see every person we pass as more important than ourselves. I’m sure it wasn’t convenient for Rebekah to stop and water an elderly servant’s camels, but she put the servant above herself and did it anyway. I’m sure dying on the cross wasn’t convenient for Jesus. But He did it anyway, because while here on earth He acted as a servant. He put the rest of humanity above Himself.

I’m not saying we all have to go to that extreme – God will guide us as to how much of ourselves to actually give. But whatever He asks of us, the fact remains that to be a servant means to go beyond ourselves and place ourselves below the person we’re serving. In that moment, they are more important than we are. Imagine how our regular interactions would look if we all truly embraced that concept in our hearts.

So I invite you today to have God examine your hearts. Make sure your calling as a servant isn’t hindered by a limit you placed on it, but that you are giving according to His calling for you. You can trust Him – He won’t lead you beyond what You can truly bear and He won’t forsake you. He’s our provider, after all – He’s all we need!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Guest Spot: MJ- “Unable to Pray”

Feb24

Editor’s Note: Our weekly guest spot is our effort to help our reading community connect with each other. MJ’s loss of prayer in her daily life is such a comment occurrence. Many of us have multiple things to juggle and falling out of daily prayer can happen so quietly that we don’t see it until it’s been months. Thank God for His wonderful mercy and grace that He just loves us and hugs us when we start communing with Him again! Read on for her journey- and thank you for sharing MJ! ~Rebekah M.

I did not pray for almost four months. I did not consciously decide to stop praying, I just did.I was pregnant with my first child, and at 28 weeks I was placed on complete and total bed-rest. I.e., Isolation City. I was very compliant but still I was induced at 36 weeks and my son spent the first week of his life in the NICU. Afterwards they told me not to take him out for two more months. Translation = four months of Isolation City.

You would think that with all that extra time I would have had dynamic prayer times, but somehow I could not bring myself to pray. Maybe I was angry at God because it had taken me so long to get pregnant and when I finally did, I got preeclampsia. All the other pregnant women I knew could eat whatever they wanted. But me, I am placed on a strict diet, and still gained 75 pounds; 14 of those pounds being gained in just one week. Maybe I was depressed from all the isolation. In reality the reason itself does not matter, it just matters that I stopped praying.

A few months later I began to pray again, little by little. At first I would just read aloud a prewritten prayer from “The Divine Hours”, a fixed-hour prayer book (link below). It would take me literally 3 minutes, and it really was a struggle to give those 3 minutes. But God took those 3 minutes and used them to draw me to Himself.

6 months after I gave birth, I decide to do a Bible Study on the book of Acts. If you have ever read the book of Acts, you can guess what happened next. Maybe I subconsciously knew and that is why I choose that particular study. But let’s just say the Holy Spirit woke me up!It was as if scales fell out of my eyes, and for the first time I was able to REALLY understand the Bible. The more I read, the more I craved to read the Word, I could not get enough.

I remember saying a prayer when I was 12 that went something like this: “Lord, no matter how far I go, no matter what I do, always bring me back to You, as my biggest desire is to follow You.” And God has been good on His end of the bargain. Once again He brought me back to Himself.

If you are foreign to the concept of personal prayer, don’t worry, God does not despise small beginnings. He will take what you have to give and draw you to Himself. He can use even a 3 minute prewritten prayer to transform a life.

“Of all the seeds it (the mustard seed) is the smallest, but when it has grown it is the largest of the garden herbs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and find shelter in its branches.” (Matthew 13:32)

His Hand In All Things

Feb20

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but to the interests of others.” ~Philippians 2:3-4

The past few weeks have been crazy for me. My roommate’s main aide was hit by a bus almost exactly two weeks ago. Since then, I have been at his house almost every day, sitting with him while his wife ran errands or got work done. He is still having intense dizzy spells and still can’t walk unassisted, so it’s best not to leave him by himself. So I’ve been helping him out.

In his absence, my roommate called up a former aide of his (we’ll call him by his initial, “R”) to come back and work the shifts that G (the one who got hit by the bus) was working. R agreed, saying money was tight and he needed all the work possible. What a blessing!

But once he started, R was constantly late, leaving my roommate stranded in bed or at work for long periods of time (he works 10-hour days as it is). He left a mess everywhere he went. He was resentful of the fact that my roommate’s condition had deteriorated a bit and he needed more help with things than he did before. So after about a week and a half of this, my roommate sat him down and talked about whether this would work in the long run, and his need for R to be responsible. R got really upset and pitched a fit, insulting both me and the previous aide to get the attention off of himself. He even had to step out for a bit and cool off once they got back to the house. However, the next morning, a Sunday morning, R came in 20 minutes early. What a blessing!

But later that day, as I was getting ready to go to a new church, I got a text from R. He wouldn’t be able to go pick up my roommate from work, but would be able to meet us at the house and help him shower, etc. Fine. No church for me, unfortunately, but fine. So I picked up my roommate, brought him home and fed him dinner, and then we waited for R to come by. And we waited. And waited. Now it’s Wednesday, and we still haven’t heard from the guy. He was paid in advance, and had borrowed a few things from us that will probably never be returned. Without a stable aide situation, many of these duties now fall to me (he has an aide who normally comes two nights per week who has been stopping by on his way to and from work to do the lifting – I’m not physically strong enough to lift a grown man. The other 5 nights and all 7 mornings were G’s, and now supposed to be R’s, responsibility).

So, between taking over for our now non-existent aide, going into Manhattan and back out to queens twice per day, helping out G, trying to track down R, facilitating the hire of a new aide, while still trying to keep things running here at home, suffice to say I have had a crazy few weeks! Not to mention some very short nights! I never thought that I would consider my unemployment to be a blessing. But honestly, between the extra duties and the construction on my subway line, if I had an actual job I needed to report to I’m not sure where that would leave us. I’d probably have to either quit or take early vacation time. Just extra proof that God’s timing is perfect and He really does have a plan! How amazing is He?!?

Through all this, I have to keep calm and present a fairly happy face. I am the one constant that my roommate still has. G has been in agony, depressed, and despondent, and his injuries have taken a toll on my roommate too – besides his own parents (one deceased and one now in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s), G was probably the one person in his life who would voluntarily go above and beyond for him without asking for something in return. The loss of his presence in this house has been profound. So it is up to me to keep everybody’s spirits up.

I may or may not have helped the situation by telling G that he walked like a zombie and all he needed was some grotesque makeup and he could be on the TV show The Walking Dead. Don’t worry, he laughed.

Anyway, despite my efforts to be a cheerful giver (and a stand-in television casting director), I have been a bit stressed. I prefer being busy to having too much free time, but it is a lot of increased demand on such short notice. And I’ve really only been getting about 4-5 hours of sleep per night. I’m stressed and I’m tired! But then I remember Rebekah at the well, the namesake of this blog, doing all this extra labor for a stranger, who she only came across because she was doing her father’s business, and my spirit seems to come full circle. I read this verse, and let God in to do the work in my heart. This whole situation has been a true lesson in what’s important in life, in how temporary and precious it all is. It’s been a lesson in giving to others beyond what I would have rationed out to them. It’s been a lesson in humility and having the heart of a true servant. I have less time to spend with God than before, but the growth in my heart has been profound. I knew already that I was called to serve God – now I’m just getting a broader idea than ever of what servanthood means.

And that is definitely something to praise God for!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Being Christian – Loving God, Loving People

Feb19

I have a bit of a confession to make: I have no idea how to be a Christian. I mean, it seems simple enough; believe Jesus. But that’s really just the beginning. That’s what it takes to wear the label, but how we actually live out our Christianity from day to day isn’t so easy.

The Bible is full of wisdom and instruction on the subject and though I’ve committed to live by its principles I still find myself floundering at times. I wonder if I’ll ever get it right. And therein lies the problem. I’m entirely too self-focused. It’s not about me perfecting the rules and regulations, it’s about letting God transform me from the inside out. It’s really His work. I just have to be willing to lay my old man down and allow Him to create me anew.

When it comes down to it, being a Christian is really about loving God and loving people. It’s not about looking inward; it’s looking up to God and out to the people. We’re servants. We’re here to serve God and to honor God by serving others.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. –Matthew 22:37-39

When we really love God we are willing to decrease so that He can increase (John 3:30). We will strive to do what He asks of us (John 14:15). When we really love God we will love people (John 13:35). When we really love people, we will have a burden to reach them for the Lord! This is true Christianity.

Lord, help me to love you better. Help me to love your people better. Help me to believe you for every area of my Christian walk. Teach me how to follow after you with everything I have. Guide me on the path and show me how to be a true Christian. I struggle with how to best to represent you. I don’t know how to do the things I know I should do, but you are a merciful patient teacher, and I thank you for that. Thank you for your unending love.

In His Love,

Rebekah L.

A Daddy’s Chastisement

Jan29

I wrote this post yesterday afternoon shortly after yesterday’s, timing it to be published later this week. Today, I received my chastisement and Rebekah L invited me to take her day to write about things as they have happened… it floors me how I wrote this PRIOR to what happened. I’ll explain more at the end.

So I have been trying to work through all the layers of feelings behind why I have been falling into this relationship with this guy and there are MANY things I see.

A) He and I truly have SO many things in common. We’re only a month different in age so we know MUCH of the same references from childhood and we always find something outdoors to do.

B) We communicate well together. It’s kind of freaky when we randomly hit a stride in our convos where his or my texts are the answers to what the other person is texting that moment. Granted it makes sense in a way because conversations are on topics and thus have a finite amount of topic space, but it has happened multiple times in the same conversation before. Also, he and I text/skype/message each other throughout the day. It never feels too much or too little.

C) He makes me feel in person how God makes me feel spiritually- cared for, secure, safe, like I can try to conquer anything and he’d be there to catch me if I fell.

But despite all this, it’s eating away at me. It eats away because he’s not in church. I have always longed for a guy who would lead me in prayer. I longed for a man who would lead our family in a journey towards passionate pursuit of Him. A man who would have no qualms of calling a family fast. A man who would be so assured in God’s ways that when God told him something, no matter how crazy it seemed, he’d be willing to drop all for Him- as much as I feel I have done with my life.

I have dropped everything I know and love for Him. I have left home and all that I know to live this life, knowing that He is the one who has taken me here and knowing that all I do is in and for Him. And yet now… here I find myself splintering because here I live this life where I have dropped everything for Him, and yet I find myself attaching more and more to this guy who hadn’t even been to church in years until this past Sunday when he went with me.

I felt like all I deserved was a cosmic spanking. A beating of epic proportions for doing what I shouldn’t be doing. So I cowered away from God, afraid of how His chastisement would play out. Would He rip away my blessings? Make me never be able to become a doctor? Cause me to live life unfulfilled- never a doctor, never a missionary, just a nobody with no purpose… which is my greatest fear. To live a life that amounts to nothing- no spiritual legacy, lived my life that amounted to a mountain of nothingness.

Then my friend pointed out that Jesus is a Father to us. He’s our daddy. As my friend said:

Remember, He’s a Daddy who loves to bless his kids, not a godfather who gives favors in exchange for good behavior…

And it sparked a thought in my mind. Just as my parents have always known how best to reprimand me, God knows how best to chastise me. If He has a purpose for me becoming a doctor, why would He rip that away as punishment when it would cause me to fall away from the path He truly wants for me? The chastisement needs to match the child. As I expressed this to my friend, he replied:

Yes… spanking is not the first or best method of training children. Patience and teaching happen for a long time first

So why have I been hiding from God? Afraid to ask Him to help because it felt like I’d be coming to exchange help for a heavy toll. Would God truly rip away all hope of an Isaac because I just seem so lost and confused right now? I have to hold on to the hope that He is good despite my fears and doubts. I have to hold on to the hope that it is safe to express my doubts to Him and that instead of exchanging punishment for expressing my fears, He will exchange faith and bless me for trusting that He is able to help me overcome the fear and doubt. I have to hold on to the hope that He truly is a good Father who knows how best to punish me and that just as my parents always knew when I needed something to just help me push through the hard times- that sometimes, even though maybe I deserved a punishment- they gave me a reprieve instead for they knew what was best for ME . I just have to believe that He will know what I need more and what actions are what I need to help prod me to where He wants me to be.

Love,

Jesus You are my love. Jesus You are my everything. Jesus I am holding on to the fact that as my parents have loved me into going the right way in the past, You know what I need more- a rod or a loving prod. You know what I need more so I have to trust that You aren’t going to just punish me over and over again if I just reach out to You and so I do now. I reach out to You and believe that You will chastise me how You see fit. I just keep being hurt over and over again by guys in the church so I just have a hard time believing an Isaac exists for all I see is good guys out of church and guys who are either jerks or will never pursue me in the church. Help me believe that Isaac exists. Help me be like Rebekah yet once again. Help me bring myself back to the roots of it all- passionate pursuit of You as I patiently wait for the day I meet Isaac. Love, my Jesus, You are my God and my salvation. You are my everything.

Rebekah M.

So last night my parents received an email by someone in another country who has prophesied accurately multiple times. He revealed via visions what has been going on between the guy and I and I could not have been more mortified than that. The guy and I have been physically affectionate and although we didn’t do THAT, we have done stuff.

My parents’ disappointment has always been THE greatest reprimand that I could ever receive. I want to make them proud. I want to make them feel joy and happiness when they think of me- knowing that I am a good daughter who brings them honor. The only saving grace was that even in the visions, it was obvious that I didn’t do THAT. However… the whole time my parents were reading the email, I just felt how much it felt like it was God’s way of chastising me. The punishment was the most it could have been before “a cosmic spanking” in which those consequences would be irreversible.

The email ended with the fact that if I do end up doing THAT, my salvation is on the line. We have choices that we all have to make. I need, I MUST, choose to pursue purity in Christ with all that I am, for all that I am today is because of Him. Without Him, I am nothing. So without pursuit of purity in Him, I will become nothing.

Lord, despite my mortification and shame, I thank You for Your chastisement that awakens me before I mess up beyond repair. I thank You for Your grace and mercy. I thank You for Your unending love that would even be willing to shame me before my parents, knowing it would spark their full prayer support and an awakening like no other. I thank You for Your ways, even if they sting right now. I love You Jesus,

Rebekah M.

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/01/28/praying-monday-pressing-on/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/02/14/the-visions-part-1/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/02/28/the-visions-part-2/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/04/12/the-visions-part-3/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/05/02/the-visions-loved-like-gomer-was/

Song of the Day: You’re Not Alone by Meredith Andrews

Jan2

I have a confession that I’ve hinted at before: I’m sort of seeing this guy who’s not in church. He’s fun, sweet, and is the exact mixture of my Exes that I had said I wished existed in one person- Ex #1’s amount of time he put into me and Ex #2’s sense of adventure and being outdoors and non-demanding-ness. This guy literally pays as much attention to me as Ex #1 did… texting me all day long (with breaks for things like… work LOL!)… but also enjoys being outdoors. Our two hangouts included going on hikes where he made sure that there was a waterfall we could sit by and just sit and talk. He’s thoughtful and sweet and even cleaned off the snow from my car.

However… how does that work with me loving God so much? I can’t help but see that we could have a comfortable life together. We’d have moments of laughter- cooking together, dancing in the kitchen to cute old school music, tickle fights- yeah, he’s that kind of guy. But then we’d have a spiritual discord that I cannot overlook. It makes me continually feel like I’m sowing into the wrong things.

However, he is a soul. He is someone who needs to know God. His boss is a Christian, one of his good friends is a pastor’s son. I truly feel like God wants to reach out to him but am I supposed to be part of the equation or is he just a test for me? Will I hold out for Isaac or go after Ishmael?

At church tonight the preacher asked “are you truly committed to God? because if you are only half committed you will not receive the full blessing from God.” As the sermon progressed, I felt God sing this song to me. Tell me that He’s loved me all of my life and that He was with me. At alter call I told God I was 100% His, making sure that I told God I was laying this guy on His alter in my heart, and the moment I fully meant it, my pastor came along and asked me if I knew how to speak mandarin because they had a new couple there that couldn’t speak English very well and were from China. I had seen them walk in late in service. She told me that they had been passing by and felt God so they came in. She had been searching for God. In China the church she tried to go to once, they said that sickness was because of not believing in God. It was punishment for unbelief. She could not believe that but she wanted to know God and felt Him as she was passing by so she came in… and the moment I gave my heart to God, He used me to help reach her. In my broken Mandarin skills (I’m Chinese, born in America), I told her over and over that Jesus loved her, died for her, wants to live in her heart, it wasn’t an accident that she was there. With tears in her eyes we prayed together- she even told Jesus she loved Him!!! WOW!!!!

Dear readers- this is the amazing grace of our Jesus. I’m messing up- literally potentially flirting with disaster and yet the moment I lay my heart out to Him, He uses me to help minister to a someone who it was clear- I met my appointment with God today. Wow! Wow!!!!! WOW! I feel like dirt, trash and yet He would still use this broken, dirty vessel. Wow! Who am I to be used by the Almighty to reach others? Who am I to be able to say He is good? It has NOTHING to do with my worth and EVERYTHING to do with Him. He has loved you all of your life. You are NOT alone. He is here! He wants to use you to spread the news that He is with each of us every day. Help Him by meeting His appointments. Minister to Him by ministering to others. He has seen you through your darkest night, He is faithful and true. His love will carry us through this broken, lonely, ugly, messy world.

Jesus- I love You so much.

Rebekah M.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FXLo3aCkuQ]

Nothing Less

Dec12

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” ~Romans 12:2

“What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” ~ Romans 6:1-2

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:20-21

We are only human. I hear that all the time. We try, we fail, we get up and fall again. We sin. We are only human. But lately I’ve been really feeling like this isn’t a valid excuse. Like we’re selling ourselves short somehow by chalking our mistakes up to our humanity. Like we’re selling God short somehow.

When it comes down to it, we were delivered from sin. We were delivered and are now asked to be perfect (Matthew 5:48). I’ve never thought much about this verse before. I always just figured ‘we are inherently imperfect’ and left it at that. But God brought it to my attention yesterday. Would He have asked it of us if it was completely unachievable? I get it; we’re sinners. But we were also delivered. With the death of Jesus came the deliverance of us. Not only that, but when Jesus ascended to heaven, in his stead came the Holy Spirit. Jesus called it the Counselor and the Advocate, to reside inside of us and guide our choices. Here’s where we get a little theological. Depending on your denomination, you might view the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and God as more separate entities comprising the Holy Trinity, or you may literally see them as interchangeable. Either way, everyone agrees to a point that all three parts of the trinity are God in various forms.

I personally view them as pretty much the same, but for purposes of this post, the difference is this: Jesus walked among us, and sacrificed for us. The Holy Spirit resides inside of us. Yet both are God. Which means that God is inside of us. All of the love and compassion and righteousness that was Jesus Christ on this earth, is now alive and well and here. It’s within us. We were given this precious gift, a gift we could never possibly hope to earn. Why? So that we can sit here and say “well, I’m only human…..”. Somehow, I don’t think that was quite the idea. I think we were meant to embrace this gift, to overcome our humanity (so to speak) and be a true vessel of this perfect righteousness we were given. It’s the classic ‘less of me, more of You’ desire. We humans are imperfect, inherently sinners. The Holy Spirit is perfect and righteous. One is inside the other, and we have do control over which one prevails.

I have a friend who has recently returned back from a missions trip to Africa. Her life was changed forever as she saw how open people were there to spiritual experiences and how freely God was allowed to move. Her facebook status the other day was “Jesus, how you’ve wounded me for anything less than You”. It exactly summed up my feelings lately.

I want a heart that truly knows the bright light and beauty of Jesus. I know that He outshines anything I see here on earth. I want a heart that is so attuned to Him, that knows my savior so well, that even the most beautiful and tantalizing temptations of this earth appear to be nothing more than trash on the side of the street when compared to His glory. I want a heart that desires, truly desires, the things that God desires – not the things that the world offers. I want a heart that is so passionate for Christ, that is so led by the Holy Spirit within me, that I don’t give those earthly temptations a second glance, because they just don’t look appealing. I want a heart that will settle for nothing less than Jesus.

But I’m only human….imperfect…so can I get my heart to be in that place? The more I looked into it, the more I realized that yes I can. We all can. We don’t have to settle for the human condition. God gave us salvation for eternity, but he also gave us a way to overcome the flesh now. We can do it. Maybe it’s moment to moment. Maybe we won’t be always perfect from here on out for the rest of our lives – but in theory, we could be. In the sacrifice of Christ, in the presence of the Holy Spirit within us, God gave us the tools we need to live by His righteousness. All of it.

In fact, it’s asked of us. God specifically tells us to be perfect. To not continue sinning. To live righteously. I’ve even heard it preached that because God poured out His righteousness into us, and then gave us free will, that God is only as righteous as the human vessel. I think that statement is something of a misrepresentation, but I agree with the sentiment. We were made into vessels. We were given this gift. It’s up to us to allow God to move, both within us and around us.

And if we do it right, it shouldn’t be “I’m only human”. It shouldn’t be “this is so hard to ignore” or “I want ____ but I know I really shouldn’t.” Instead, it should be “I have Jesus; why would I want ____?” It should be a heart that literally settles for nothing less than the fullness of Christ Himself.

Jesus, help me to stop masking You with my humanity. Help me to stop getting in the way of the Holy Spirit and blaming it on the fact that I’m inherently a sinner. Give me a heart that is fully focused and centered on You and You alone, and is so in love with You that nothing on this earth even comes close to fulfilling my heart’s desire. Show me how to get to the place where you are my true desire. Show me how to shed myself on an even deeper level, so that all is left in me is You. Show me how to abide in You and walk with You in a way that makes me not even visible to the world anymore, but instead lets your light shine out of me. Help me to seek nothing less than You. I love you with everything I have and all that I am.

I know this might be a kind of controversial post. I haven’t completely worked through it all yet I don’t think. It’s just what I’ve been feeling lately, and what I feel like God is telling me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it too, either in a comment or privately at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com.

God bless!

~Rebekah A