Overcoming the Carnal Mind

Oct5

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” –Matthew 26:41

Awhile ago I found myself dealing with a bit of a problem with someone I know. When I inquired to God as to what had brought this on, God showed me something I had done months earlier that had started the chain reaction of events that led me to the point I found myself in. I realized had I followed the Lord’s principles as laid out in the Scriptures, I would not have had to suffer the way I was. I repented and told God that if a similar situation ever presented itself, I would not make the same mistake twice. I would say no to the temptation.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream that the very situation I had dealt with before presented itself again. In the dream I was very tempted to repeat my prior error, but then I remembered my vow to the Lord. I reminded myself that following after God is the most important thing. There is no temporary fulfillment of the flesh that is worth sacrificing eternity. I said no to the temptation.

But then as sometimes happens in dreams, I suddenly became aware that I was dreaming! Once I realized I was dreaming, I revisited the temptation. I reasoned within myself that since I was dreaming that meant none of this was really happening so it wouldn’t be so bad to give in to the temptation; to give in to sin. It wasn’t even real I told myself. When I wake up, I will go on as before and no one will ever know. I’m not sure if I went through with my intention to sin as the dream seems to have ended at that point, but I woke up clearly remembering how I was justifying my desire to sin for the simple reason that I knew it wasn’t real. Our flesh will do as much as it can get away with!

“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” –Romans 7:18

Our thought life is important to God. The things in our hearts are important to God. While I may not have been completely conscious of my activities, and though I was “only” dreaming, the dream revealed the state of the inner man. My flesh was rising up. Somewhere deep down, that desire for sin is within. The carnal mind is enmity against God (Romans 8:7). My flesh is weak. I know that the wages of sin is death. I know that nothing good can come of it, and yet I was so quick to go down that road because I could get away with it since it wasn’t “real”. The trouble is that the unconscious mind that brought me to that place in my dream is real. The dream came from somewhere and it revealed an area in my life that I need to deal with. So what’s the solution to this problem?

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” -Galatians 5:16

Walk in the Spirit! We have two natures, a spiritual nature and a fleshly nature. There is a battle raging between the old man and the new man. Paul said, “I die daily.” We have to crucify the flesh every day. I’ve recently been re-sanctifying parts of my life as I have found I need to do from time to time. I’ve started treating my temple better with healthier food and exercise. I’ve started reading my Word regularly again. I’ve deactivated my Facebook account. I’m praying more and allowing time for worship in the privacy of my home instead of just during song service at church. Perhaps, my flesh is rising up in part due to this sanctification process. The flesh doesn’t like the things of the spirit!

I’m doing my best to take up my cross to follow Him, but my flesh is still weak. I must remind myself of this so that I don’t fall into temptation. The Bible says to confess your faults to one another and to pray for one another (James 5:16). We know that sin leads to death yet we are still tempted by the flesh to fall into sin! We must die daily. We must walk in the spirit so that we don’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

Lord, Help me to walk after the Spirit and not after my own flesh! Help me to live clean and righteously before You in my thoughts, in my body, and in my spirit. I cannot do it on my own; I need your Holy Spirit directing my every step. Thank you Jesus for your loving kindness and your enduring mercy. I don’t know where I’d be without You.

-Rebekah L

Consecrating the Temple

Sep25

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, whom is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

At Church on Sunday, we had a special time set aside to pray for healing. I have an autoimmune disease, and for the past almost-year or so now I’ve been fighting a weird eczema-type rash on my hands and arms. It hasn’t been fun, so if healing prayer is being offered, I’m all over it! But as I prayed for Jesus to just take my body and touch it with His healing hand, the hand of the Great Physician, He answered me with “I can’t. You’re not mine to heal.”

Excuse me? What do you mean I’m not yours to heal? Don’t I blog about you and love you and worship you and serve you? Trust me, Jesus – I’m all yours. Go ahead and heal me!

Still the words resonated, “You’re not mine to heal”. I have to say that Jesus and I had a slight difference of opinion when it came to this ruling….but since He’s usually right about these things I figured I’d listen. What He essentially said was, my body is a temple. It’s consecrated space. At least, it should be. Right now though, it really isn’t. There are too many distractions and external things I’m letting in. When my body truly becomes a temple for Jesus, it will be His to heal.

This got me thinking. I used to have a weekly fast day. I’ve stopped doing that. From fasting to eating habits to workout habits to how I spend my free time, every action I make is either consecrating or desecrating this temple. It was almost like God was telling me it’s not enough to have prayer time set aside. Our very bodies are temples – places of worship and praise, dedicated to our Creator. Our spirits merely inhabit it. We were created for God, not for ourselves.

Then I had another thought. We literally spend our whole entire lives inside of a temple. We can’t leave it even if we want to – after all, it’s not like we can step out of our bodies. We can’t say “Today my body’s a temple but tomorrow I’m hanging out with my friends and I think there’s gonna be a cute guy there so I’ll wear clothes a little tighter so I look good.” That’s not how it works. Our bodies are temples all the time. They were created for that purpose, and 1 Corinthians 6 is very clear about that. The question becomes this: in this moment, is your temple consecrated or desecrated? Are you worshiping Jesus or have you invited in an idol? You can’t leave your temple ever, so all you can do is either keep it clean and polished or let it get dirty; you can either serve Jesus in its altar or serve something else. And truth be told, every thought in your head, action you take and word you speak serves something. You are serving something in every second of the day. Today I ask you, who?

So clearly, Jesus is calling me to walk more intentionally in Him, not just in thought but in my actions as well. I trust Him that the healing will come in time. Meanwhile, I have some cleaning of my temple to do.

This is the time, readers, to reflect on your daily habits and your lifestyle and see if any of them are in fact less than godly. This is the time to pray for strength and make some changes so that you, too, can polish your temples and let God’s light shine out in all its glory. I wish you luck and am keeping you in my prayers. As always, write to me with specific prayer requests at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Getting Closer to Him

Aug15

As Christians we must learn to walk in spirit and truth. A Christian cannot stand in one place; we are either moving closer to Him or further from Him. Therefore, it is vital that we never stop growing in God. In my own life, these last few weeks have been a wonderful time of restoration and growth in Him. There is nothing like kneeling down in prayer and not just hoping or wishing or thinking or feeling, but truly knowing you are connecting with your Creator.

God desires a closer relationship with each one of us. It is essential to remember that God supplies the spiritual fire, but we must tend to the flames. A campfire needs kindling to be started, and logs to burn. If we do not keep watch and add wood as the fire burns, it will go out. It is like that in the spirit. It’s not enough to have a one time spiritual experience with God and expect the flames to continue to burn indefinitely without any input from us. A relationship is a two way street; even with God. We give what we can, and God supplies the rest. Do not be mistaken, God provides far more than we ever could and more than we deserve. Salvation is a free gift and there isn’t anything in this world we could do to deserve it. But a relationship takes two individuals being committed to do what is necessary to maintain it. If we do not do the things we know to do to keep the spiritual fire burning, it will perish. In my personal walk, I have been leaning on the things I know to do to grow in my relationship with Him. These are simple things that we all know to do, but we can get lax in them at times. If we put these seven suggestions into practice, God will reward us by giving us deeper insight into who He is, and greater understanding of His unending love.

Seven Steps to a Closer Relationship with God:

Continue regular fellowship with other believers and attendance of church and church related activities. The bible is clear that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together and He has set leadership over us for a reason. It is very difficult to navigate this journey alone. God designed us to be part of the Body of Christ.
Make reading, studying and memorizing Scripture a priority in your life. This is an area where a lot of us could use improvement. I know personally, I am not disciplined enough with my bible reading. The written Word is the known will of God! If you are wondering what God’s will is in your life, reading His Word is the perfect place to start.
Commit to deeper prayer. To know God, you must be in communication with Him. In my own life there is not a day that goes by where I don’t pray. Yet, If I am honest I have to admit that there are many days where my prayer is very “surface”. As Christians we need breakthrough prayer to be the rule and not the exception.
It is time to start fasting regularly. If you want to be open to God’s leading and open to Christian growth, you will need to weaken the flesh and strengthen the spirit. Fasting seems to be one of the best ways to do that. My ability to focus on Him improves dramatically during times of fasting.
Minimize ungodly influences from the outside world. By this I mean consuming less television, secular music, movies, video games, facebook etc… The bible says we are in the world, not of the world.
Live more Christlike. One sure way to get to know Him better is to model yourself after Him more. We need to give like He gives and love like He loves.
Never never forget what He has done for you. Always come to Him with praise and thanksgiving in your heart and above all else seek Him first!

Jesus is our everything! Keep this fire burning… dare not let it go out!

~Rebekah L.

Restoration

Jul15

For the last week and half I have been in Texas for a company training. Most of my co-workers on this trip have been complaining about being sent to Texas in the middle of the summer. Indeed it has been over 100 degrees the whole time I have been here and the humidity is no joke. I, however, have enjoyed every minute of it. I’m one of those rare folks that loves hot, sticky, humid summer days. There is just something about the heat that I LOVE.

I came here on a low. I’ve been struggling with some things recently. Struggling with who I am in Christ, what I’m doing at my job, how to get the creeper guy at work to leave me alone, how to let go of the thing I should have let go of over a year ago, family things coming up, an insane desire to just run away from it all and on and on and on. I was losing my focus on Christ.

Then I got off the plane and landed in this heat and knew right away that God had purposed this trip so that I could get restoration in Him. Suddenly I knew, company trip or not, this wouldn’t be about work, this would be about Him. As I could feel myself starting to sweat in the intense Texas summer sun, it was like it was sweating all the impurities out and the heat was relaxing all my muscles and bringing me back to a place of peace. Immediately, I was in a place of praise. I was praising Him for His goodness, for His unending mercy, for always knowing exactly what I need.

Since I arrived I have spent my days in training and my nights in the Word. I’m saturating myself in it and allowing it to move me to a new place in Him. There are riches in His Word that I’ve only just begun to glean. It is an amazing gift that He has left us, it is a shame I don’t spend more time exploring it.

This past Sunday, I went to a tiny little church down the street from the hotel I’m staying in. There is a great big church not too far away that was recommended to me by my pastor, but this one was within walking distance and the big church would have cost me a taxi ride. At the little church I met the most beautiful man. His name is Justin. He isn’t physically beautiful by the world’s standards by any means; he is rather overweight and has a very distinct scar that runs all the way down the right side of his face, but none the less there is something extremely attractive about him. It is the Christ in him. He does not have an ounce of bitterness for what happened to him. Jesus shines through this man so thoroughly as to make you hunger for more of Him just by simple conversation with him.

This man has a ministry about allowing Christ to heal you. How sometimes healing leaves scars, but the scars can be an open door to lead someone to Jesus. Wow, could I relate to that! Like many, I have scars. A couple that are physical and hidden from view, and a few that are emotional, also mostly hidden from view, but they are there. Thank God, He has provided me a transformational healing in a way that only He can. Talking to this man and seeing how He has relied on Christ so completely was humbling. I rely on Christ intermittently. I stay focused for a short while and then fall off the wagon. Then He helps me climb back on and I stay focused for awhile longer before the next fall. Every time I fall, it’s because I have let go of His hand. Imagine the doors my scars could open if I was so consumed in Jesus that people saw only Him in me.

Having gone out to lunch with Justin a couple of times this week and suddenly I feel letting go of the other guy doesn’t need to be nearly so hard. I’m not saying I want to run out and marry Justin, I’m just saying that he awakened a hope in me. The hope that maybe there really is a reason God said no to the other guy and I, and that it wasn’t just to make me miserable. One of the reasons I have had such a hard time letting go of him is that I have secretly (and not so secretly) believed the report of a former person of authority in my life who told me that no one will ever love me. I thought he was the only one who could ever be attracted to me. No one will ever want this fat, ugly, old, depressing girl, I thought.

And then I meet this guy. There is nothing physically attractive about him, and yet, I am incredibly attracted to him. And it dawns on me, I don’t have to be attractive. If I am consumed in God, someone will see that, and that will draw them to me. No, they aren’t going to be drawn to this insecure, depressing girl. That girl has to go. The girl they will be attracted to will be the one who has her eye on the prize. The one who is pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:4). I want to love Jesus better. I want to become more like Him. I want to win people to Christ by being open about my scars. His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Thank you, Lord for this trip. Thank you for restoration.

~Rebecca L.

Love Is Patient, I Am Not

May29

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Doesn’t it seem like whenever you’re trying to change something about yourself, something always happens to test it?

I definitely ran into this problem yesterday, running errands with my roommate. We went on our monthly shopping spree to get supplies (laundry detergent, paper towels – the exciting stuff), but to do that we have to take an elevator up to the store. Some days it’s a long wait, other days it’s really quick, but either way, we join the other wheelchairs and strollers to get upstairs. Yesterday, the elevator was packed. Insanely packed. The whole group waiting couldn’t even fit on, but despite that, just as the doors were closing, this lady comes elbowing in. She had no children, and seemed perfectly able-bodied – she’d just run and caught the elevator, after all. Forget the fact that the escalator was 5 feet away, forget the fact that either way you’re just standing there and no matter which way you go up you still don’t have to climb a step; no, this lady was bound and determined to come on the elevator, at the expense of the ribs and sternums of everyone else.

So she elbows her way in, the doors shut, and up we go. However, when we get to the top, the doors open on the opposite side of the elevator. So this lady, who had elbowed her way in and was barely squeezed in by the door, was now in the back. Does she wait for the strollers and wheelchairs to maneuver themselves out? No. No she does not, and instead continues elbowing her way out the elevator. Honestly, she expended more energy elbowing all of us than she would have spent walking the extra 5 feet to the escalator. Anyway, this sounds minor, but for me, it’s a huge pet peeve. My roommate, for instance, uses a wheelchair because he has a disability. He can’t walk (hence the chair) but he also has a tough time moving in general. A tough time moving in general means he can’t turn his head around to see who is coming up behind him. This results in a blind spot. So if there’s a kamikaze elevator lady coming at him, there’s a very real chance he won’t see her and could run her over. A motorized wheelchair weighs a solid 300 pounds. Which is decidedly less than a car, and honestly if I had to get run over by something I’d choose the wheelchair any day….but really it’s best to just avoid running over people, wouldn’t you say? But that’s hard to do when somebody you didn’t was there steps right in front of the wheel. Plus, there’s the issue of coming too close to him. If you stand or walk too close, you run the risk of bumping his arm. Which is perfectly positioned over his joystick so that he can drive the chair. Which is lovely, when he wants to move. But when his joystick is being driven by accident in a crowded space because somebody hip-checked him, well….let’s just say it has disaster written all over it. It’s the equivalent of driving in a crowded parking lot and having your passenger reach over and jerk the wheel hard. You could crash into anything and it’s not in your control at all.

Side note: people, when you’re out in public, please please please try extra hard to respect the personal bubble of a wheelchair user. I beg you. The world will be a better place. I promise.

Anyway, this lady didn’t just shove us, either. She made no distinction between patron with disability and new mother. She didn’t care where she stepped, who she stepped on, or whose way she got in, as long as she got off the elevator first.

But she did eventually get out, and the rest of us followed suit. So, into the store we go. But sure enough, once we’re in and start shopping, I see the same lady in one of the aisles. It just so happened I needed to reach over her for something. She was standing there reading labels and browsing, and I needed something on the top shelf where she was. So, I said ‘excuse me’ and asked her if I could get in there to grab it. She didn’t move, so I ended up trying to reach around her. Again, not a big deal. Except it quickly became one. I’m short, and even with a straight path, the top shelf is not an easy reach for me. I didn’t have a straight shot here, because the lady wouldn’t move. So I grabbed what I needed, but by mistake I knocked over the item next to it. Of course I did. And of course it fell from the top shelf, right onto the lady’s shoulder. I’m not sure if it hurt as much as all our ribs from being elbowed by her, but she reacted as if I’d shot her. I apologized, but she kept rubbing her shoulder and saying how much I’d hurt her and looking at me like I’d thrown something at her.

Even though I apologized and felt genuinely bad for hurting her, her reaction had me seething. She could have avoided the problem by taking one step back. She purposely didn’t. Her action was deliberate, and mine was a mistake. And honestly, by that time I was starting to think she deserved a thump in the shoulder after all the trouble she’d caused the rest of us.

It wasn’t until afterwards that I realized this was a perrrrfect opportunity to exercise the “Love is patient” part of this passage, and that I’d failed completely. If she wouldn’t get out of my way, I should have been patient enough to wait for her to be done. If she was acting so miserable, I should have been patient enough to have a heart to love her anyway. I missed the boat completely, because I was focused on myself and my errand and not on Jesus. Could He have used me in that moment? I have no idea. I’ll never know because I gave Him no chance to.

But if nothing else, this incident served to show me how quickly little everyday moments can become a test. And not just a test; it’s these everyday moments that allow us to walk out what we preach. As for me, God has called me to a time of prayer, fasting, and focus on 1 Corinthians 13, to redefine my walk and bring it further into submission of what love is. If my reaction to that lady was any indication, it’s a good thing He is!!! I know God is being patient with me, and will guide me through these revelations and opportunities. Still, I hope I do better next time!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

In His Hands: Unexpected Gifts

May16

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ~James 4:7

Although I’ve been trying to fast for a week on and off for a week and a half now, today has been a new level. Since I started coming out of my deep fasting/praying time, I’ve allowed myself to slip away little by little from the habits that helped me reach a new level in Christ. I haven’t been praying 3 times a day. I haven’t been looking at things that I’m fasting and saying “Jesus, I want You more.” I am reading my Bible but the steady, daily reading has been more this week than others recently.

I confess all this to set the stage for the two things that I want to say today.

Despite my discipline in Christ slipping away, my adoration for Him has held. It’s amazing to me that the deep, deep love for Christ that was born through those hours upon hours of prayer and weeks of fasting has remained. Just today on my way to church the sun broke through the clouds and I teared up a little and told Jesus that I adored Him. Something about the beauty in this world continually reminds me of how wonderful this Jesus of ours is. I’ll sporadically pray and with all my heart I’ll say “I adore You Jesus” and I KNOW that it’s for real. What amazing, wonderful grace God has to allow that present to say in my heart. It truly is awe-striking that He would have done such a deep work in me that I could still adore Him even when I haven’t been spending as much time with Him. Thank You Jesus.

The other gift Jesus gave me was that this morning I created a prayer closet in the house I’m staying at this month and set aside time in my morning to pray before work. I submitted my day to Him and during the afternoon, a friend of mine posted that she was now “single” on facebook. I both texted her and posted on her status update and as I was typing something on FB, she texted what God had told her the night before that brought about the change. It was FLOORING because it was exactly what I was about to post! I told her to go check it out and she was like “girl, that’s confirmation.” I told Jesus this morning that I wanted to stop wondering about how things would work out with future potential Isaacs and to get back to trying to be like Rebekah- seeking contentment in living my life daily, doing the tasks at hand. Just a few minutes this morning to submit my day and then He uses me to minister to a friend. WOW (!!!) is all I could say to that. Amazing, amazing Jesus.

I am in His hands and I’ve submitted my actions into His hands.

Jesus,

I thank You that You’ve given me these unexpected, undeserved gifts. I thank You that You decided that I could be a vessel to be used by You today to minister to a friend. I thank You that the adoration I had for You before has continued and even deepened as time as gone on. There is none like You Jesus. With ALL my heart, I know that I know that I KNOW- I adore You, I love You, with ALL my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

Rebekah M.

The Love Project

May15

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This is a scripture we all know at least a little bit. We recognize it when we hear it, we read it at weddings, and we think it’s lovely. We would be right.

Lately I have been feeling God emphasize to me the importance of this passage. God is love. He IS love. We were created in love. We were saved in love. We live under the umbrella of love. We are guided by love. God. Is. Love. As the bride of Christ, we are called to walk this out. We are called to love on a level so unconditional and far removed from what the world says, that it can only from God. To truly be God’s vessels here on Earth, we need to take the above passage deep into our hearts and live it. God’s been really telling me what a superficial grasp of this passage we have. We don’t think about it nearly often enough. But if we were to take a hard look at our lives and compare them to the above passage, we would probably fall short. We aren’t all of these things at once, not all the time. But really, we should be. My blogs frequently mention being vessels of Christ’s love. But God is emphasizing to me lately on a much deeper level.

So, enter the Love Project. I feel God is calling me into a time of deeper prayer and maybe even fasting, to bring my walk even closer to Him. I’ll be looking at each attribute in this scripture, and comparing it to my life. Ultimately, I want my life to be in submission, obedience, and concordance with what love really is. And what is it? The above passage tells us.

I invite you to do the same with me, to look at your lives and yourselves and spend time with God on it, to see if there are areas of your life where your actions are anything less than the love described above. I certainly have my moments. We all do. Are there any life changes or changes in perspective that need to happen? Maybe. God will provide the answers; we just have to spend the time. Write to me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com and let me know what He tells you!

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Unexpected Healing

May1

Mark 11:23-26 “Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

As I looked for scriptures for my intended topic this scripture appeared. I knew that God wanted this connection but for anyone who’s been keeping up, you need to bear with me because I’m going to rehash some things for new readers.

Back in December, my ex and I were on a “break” and I had been fasting for almost two weeks when in the middle of Sunday night service my faith welled within me and I said “mountain, be thou removed” with everything within me. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but the very next day around noon my ex changed his status on facebook to “single.” The journey since then has been interesting and people who meet me in person often are surprised when they find out that I was almost engaged less than half a year ago and the way I found out my ex was done with me was via facebook (no text, email, call or anything… just one day saw that he was apparently now single without ever informing me that I was no longer in a relationship with a guy who supposedly had picked the ring out). In my heart I knew that God MUST be in it for never in my life did I feel such faith when saying that and I didn’t even specifically say WHAT mountain.. just commanded it and KNEW that it was gone.

Last night at Ladies’ Prayer, we gathered at the front and were asked to pray for healing for each other because there was great need. As I began to pray, I had EVERY intention to pray for all the unknown needs when God’s love, forgiveness, and healing came flooding through. The tears poured forth and I knew that I was healed. Do I know all of the healing? No. But I know that God has healed me from my past relationship with my ex. I’m ready now to start a new relationship with the right guy. Tonight as I spoke with my roommate I was even able to talk about good memories about my ex but recognized that the man I THOUGHT I was dating was truly just a broken boy who needs to grow more in God before he’ll ever be ready to take on a wife. God, however, isn’t going to allow me to be hurt repeatedly so He removed me from the situation for my own safety and sanity.

After my cousin committed suicide, my heart was so broken and hurt. How could I know and love the God of this universe and yet my own cousin was in such despair that he jumped off a building? For months I lived in anguish- random things causing me to break down and cry. When I finally began to have true healing, I started being able to think on him and remember the good times like the last time I saw him- he, his little brother, and I played card games late into the night laughing and catching up.

I know I’m healed because although I don’t want to chase back after my ex, I know don’t even want to actively run away should that ever be an option. I’ve given up on caring either way. I’m leaving EVERY option up to God for who knows how He works? I choose to allow God to be the Master of my now blank canvas to write whatever story He wants. I am healed, unexpectedly, mercifully, wonderfully healed.

Jesus,

I thank You that You healed me even when I wasn’t seeking it. I thank You that You said wait until April not for dating… but for me to finally be READY to date… by healing my heart completely on the last day of April! Lord, I am excited about the future You have in store for me. You know one of my desires in this world is to work side by side with a man as his wife and together- our prayers will shake the foundations because we know, love, and trust You. Together, we will work in Your kingdom, planting the seeds You provide. Together we will build where You tell us, break down what You instruct us to, and LIVE for YOU. I love You Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.

Rebekah M.

Spiritual Enema

Apr27

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. ~ Psalm 51:10

I find it interesting that one of the leading causes of abdominal pain in children is constipation. They’ll hold it in for one reason or another until it becomes impacted. Then they have to get their system cleaned out and taught healthier habits to try to prevent this in the future. One of the parts of this treatment is enemas. Although I have never had to have one before, it does NOT sound like a fun experience although it is incredibly important to do so in children with impacted fecal matter in their intestines. For those who don’t know, essentially liquid is injected into the rectum and colon and it causes contractions of the intestines and makes the patient have a bowel movement very shortly thereafter.

Lately, I’ve been feeling God call me back to another “spiritual enema.” I feel like my time of prolonged fasting (9 weeks total with about a week off in the middle) was one of the major ones that I’ve had before and when I emerged from it things were SO different. To this day there are still shows that I can no longer watch on Hulu because the content disgusts me in a way that it never had before. Things that I dismissed as “normal” I could no longer allow my spirit to come in contact with because God spoke to my heart on an intimate level and He did not want to share the privilege of my attention with things of such nature- adultery, lying, backstabbing, fornication, witchcraft and more.

I have fallen away from praying 3 times a day and I feel Him calling me back to it. I need to make Him first so that I can stay consistent in Him even when He brings the things into my life that He knows I want most. There are so many dreams in my heart and even after I gave them to Him, some things He gave back with an even stronger desire. However, for now, He is calling me to re-clean out myself. To in essence do another spiritual enema in which fasting, prayer, and reading His Word purge me of the excrement of the world that I’m holding within me- things watched on hulu, bitterness, anger, maybe even a hint of hatred for things of my past.

Whether or not I’m ready to date again… it can wait for me and God to get back to the footing we were on before… if not even further.

Jesus,

I know that some of what I’ve written seems disgusting because of the analogy I’ve used but I feel like this is truly how You view some of the things we allow into our hearts and minds. I’m sorry for some of the things I’ve been watching and listening to on hulu. I’m sorry for anything that I’ve been doing that has taken my heart away from You. Help me Lord as I purge myself of the things of this world yet once again. Show me how You want me to do this and when I should do what. I praise You and I worship You for being my God and Savior. I love You Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

Rebekah M.

Fun fact: this is post 101 🙂

Prayer Monday: All About Jesus

Mar26

I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last. ~Revelation 22:13

Jesus,

I ask that You help me to keep YOU the main focus of my life. May You be the first thing I thing in my morning and my last thought at night. I ask that we find in You all that we need: strength for our day, hope for our lives, joy in the midst of storms, and a love that no one could ever outdo. I pray that we learn to lay aside the pain, suffering, disappointments, and baggage from our past and just look to You as we run this race. I pray that we don’t take on any fears, insecurities, and worries for the future as we run to You. Help us to point the way to You when others around us don’t know how. Show us how to make everything we do be about You.

I thank You that You’ve brought some pretty amazing guys into my life lately. It amazes me that barely half a year ago I was waiting for THE ring from a guy who said he was getting it and after he ripped my heart to shreds, You took the shattered pieces and with Your love created a new heart.

I ask You Lord, to help me. I feel myself slipping a little. I’m not praying as much- many days lately I’ve felt like I only barely get in a whisper of a prayer here and there. I fast my weekly fast day but not with as much purpose and determination as before. I read Your Word but I’m not devouring it like when I could barely survive the day without You because of the pain. I’m grateful for the healed heart and the promise of a bright and wonderful future, but I need You more than ever so that I don’t lose what we have due to contentedness with where I am.

Lord Jesus, let every breath I breathe and every beat of my heart be for You. I love You Jesus with all my heart.

Rebekah M.