Movie Review: Amish Grace

Dec16

In light of the recent event in Connecticut, I felt I needed to point this movie out to anyone struggling with forgiveness or harboring anger/hatred in their heart.

Although the movie blends fact with fiction in terms of the main protagonist/family being fictional, the main facts remain true. The Amish community that suffered the loss off children at the hand of a gunman in their schoolhouse quickly extended forgiveness to him (although he also committed suicide that day) and his family to the astonishment of the world.

What unfathomable pain and suffering that mirrors the CT shootings!! But that very day, it is reported that members of the Amish community reached out to the gunman’s family. Some even attended his funeral.

Spoiler alert! Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to know.

One of the scenes that struck me the most was during group therapy. The widow of the gunman asked how can they forgive her husband for the unimaginable horror that he committed? One mother replied that the absence of her children singing in the morning reminded her that they were dead and anger and hatred would well up inside her until she thought she wouldn’t be able to take another breath. She then gave all of it to God and found she would be able to breathe again. Sometimes she had to do it again the next hour, but she didn’t know how she would ever breathe again if she didn’t forgive and not give all of that to God.

Forgiveness frees the person who was wronged. Forgiveness freed me when I was harboring anger, bitterness, and hatred for Ex #1 and his friends who claimed Christ but gossiped, judged, and abandoned me when I was hurting more than I ever had before. I know my loss was nothing like the loss all those parents have and my loss was actually my most important gain. Nevertheless, I know my God met me where I was and I know He can meet anyone who is hurting, suffering, angry, or bitter.

This film is definitely a tear jerker, but the journey it takes you on is filled with God’s love that surpasses what we humans are capable of on our own. He can take all negative feelings and replace it with His love. He can mend what had been broken in a way we never expected but is so much better than we could have thought. He truly is able! He loves you! He is here for you!

In God’s love,
Rebekah M.

Nothing Less

Dec12

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” ~Romans 12:2

“What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” ~ Romans 6:1-2

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:20-21

We are only human. I hear that all the time. We try, we fail, we get up and fall again. We sin. We are only human. But lately I’ve been really feeling like this isn’t a valid excuse. Like we’re selling ourselves short somehow by chalking our mistakes up to our humanity. Like we’re selling God short somehow.

When it comes down to it, we were delivered from sin. We were delivered and are now asked to be perfect (Matthew 5:48). I’ve never thought much about this verse before. I always just figured ‘we are inherently imperfect’ and left it at that. But God brought it to my attention yesterday. Would He have asked it of us if it was completely unachievable? I get it; we’re sinners. But we were also delivered. With the death of Jesus came the deliverance of us. Not only that, but when Jesus ascended to heaven, in his stead came the Holy Spirit. Jesus called it the Counselor and the Advocate, to reside inside of us and guide our choices. Here’s where we get a little theological. Depending on your denomination, you might view the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and God as more separate entities comprising the Holy Trinity, or you may literally see them as interchangeable. Either way, everyone agrees to a point that all three parts of the trinity are God in various forms.

I personally view them as pretty much the same, but for purposes of this post, the difference is this: Jesus walked among us, and sacrificed for us. The Holy Spirit resides inside of us. Yet both are God. Which means that God is inside of us. All of the love and compassion and righteousness that was Jesus Christ on this earth, is now alive and well and here. It’s within us. We were given this precious gift, a gift we could never possibly hope to earn. Why? So that we can sit here and say “well, I’m only human…..”. Somehow, I don’t think that was quite the idea. I think we were meant to embrace this gift, to overcome our humanity (so to speak) and be a true vessel of this perfect righteousness we were given. It’s the classic ‘less of me, more of You’ desire. We humans are imperfect, inherently sinners. The Holy Spirit is perfect and righteous. One is inside the other, and we have do control over which one prevails.

I have a friend who has recently returned back from a missions trip to Africa. Her life was changed forever as she saw how open people were there to spiritual experiences and how freely God was allowed to move. Her facebook status the other day was “Jesus, how you’ve wounded me for anything less than You”. It exactly summed up my feelings lately.

I want a heart that truly knows the bright light and beauty of Jesus. I know that He outshines anything I see here on earth. I want a heart that is so attuned to Him, that knows my savior so well, that even the most beautiful and tantalizing temptations of this earth appear to be nothing more than trash on the side of the street when compared to His glory. I want a heart that desires, truly desires, the things that God desires – not the things that the world offers. I want a heart that is so passionate for Christ, that is so led by the Holy Spirit within me, that I don’t give those earthly temptations a second glance, because they just don’t look appealing. I want a heart that will settle for nothing less than Jesus.

But I’m only human….imperfect…so can I get my heart to be in that place? The more I looked into it, the more I realized that yes I can. We all can. We don’t have to settle for the human condition. God gave us salvation for eternity, but he also gave us a way to overcome the flesh now. We can do it. Maybe it’s moment to moment. Maybe we won’t be always perfect from here on out for the rest of our lives – but in theory, we could be. In the sacrifice of Christ, in the presence of the Holy Spirit within us, God gave us the tools we need to live by His righteousness. All of it.

In fact, it’s asked of us. God specifically tells us to be perfect. To not continue sinning. To live righteously. I’ve even heard it preached that because God poured out His righteousness into us, and then gave us free will, that God is only as righteous as the human vessel. I think that statement is something of a misrepresentation, but I agree with the sentiment. We were made into vessels. We were given this gift. It’s up to us to allow God to move, both within us and around us.

And if we do it right, it shouldn’t be “I’m only human”. It shouldn’t be “this is so hard to ignore” or “I want ____ but I know I really shouldn’t.” Instead, it should be “I have Jesus; why would I want ____?” It should be a heart that literally settles for nothing less than the fullness of Christ Himself.

Jesus, help me to stop masking You with my humanity. Help me to stop getting in the way of the Holy Spirit and blaming it on the fact that I’m inherently a sinner. Give me a heart that is fully focused and centered on You and You alone, and is so in love with You that nothing on this earth even comes close to fulfilling my heart’s desire. Show me how to get to the place where you are my true desire. Show me how to shed myself on an even deeper level, so that all is left in me is You. Show me how to abide in You and walk with You in a way that makes me not even visible to the world anymore, but instead lets your light shine out of me. Help me to seek nothing less than You. I love you with everything I have and all that I am.

I know this might be a kind of controversial post. I haven’t completely worked through it all yet I don’t think. It’s just what I’ve been feeling lately, and what I feel like God is telling me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it too, either in a comment or privately at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

When God Reaches for the Backslider

Dec11

Can God touch someone using a language the hearer has never learned?

The answer is yes! Yes, He can!

On Sundays I attend an American church in the mornings and a Chinese home church in the afternoons. As a result I often listen to Chinese worship music along with my usual English praise songs. At work the other day I was listening to one of my Chinese worship albums. I kind of forgot I had it on because it was set to a very low volume, just loud enough so that the silence wouldn’t drive me crazy. One of my Hispanic co-workers came by my office for assistance with something. He was talking about work issues for a few minutes when he suddenly stopped and seemed to be listening really hard. He asked me to turn the music up. I increased the volume and the song playing was called 你釘痕的手(Nǐ dīng hén de shǒu) which roughly translates to Your Nail-Scarred Hands. My co-worker listened pensively for a moment and said, “It’s really touching” and he asked me what language it was. I told him it was Chinese. He asked me what the song was about. I explained to him briefly that it was a Christian song and that it was about thinking of Jesus’ hands marked by the nails, His pain, how He heals our pain, and whatever pain we go through doesn’t compare to what He did for us. My co-worker’s eyes instantly filled with tears. He looked down and told me that he hasn’t been to church in 14 years. I told him it wasn’t too late to come back. He said that he didn’t think God would want him back. So I shared the story of the prodigal son with him and how the father rejoiced when his son came home and I told him that God loves him and is just waiting for him to come back. I invited him to come to my American church. I’m not sure if he’ll come because of the language barrier (he’s more comfortable with Spanish), but God has opened a door using a language this young man doesn’t even understand. It is clear that God is still reaching for this man and His Spirit transcends language and cultural barriers! Praise the Lord!

Jesus,

Thank you for your love and care for the lost sheep of this world. You are so worthy of our praise and adoration, Lord. Your enduring mercy continues to move me. Help me to be your hands and your feet and your mouth piece. I love you.

Rebekah L.

*Edit — Dear Readers, If you’re interested in hearing the song that was playing in my office when this conversation took place, I have posted it below. There are graphic images from The Passion of the Christ in this video so if that bothers you, you might not want to watch it. Be Blessed! In His Love, Rebekah L.

A Few Fateful Moments

Dec7

Lately, most of the things that bring me to tears are happy things – call me sappy, but I tear up with tears of joy and awe when I hear of some of the ways God moves. Several days ago, that trend shifted.

Several days ago, a homeless man named Naeem Davis was standing on a subway platform, harassing passersby. Another man, named Ki Suk Han, attempted to calm him down. For his trouble, Davis pushed him onto the tracks of the subway. With lights of an oncoming train beginning to appear in the distance, he struggled frantically back to the platform. However, dazed and injured, he was unable to pull himself out. The train struck him, and in one split second a life – the life of a man who had called two different countries home (first Korea, then for the past 20+ years, the US) and the life of a father – was effectively over. In that last moment, all he could do was watch the inevitable. You are looking at it too. In this picture, a woman is about to lose her husband and a 20-yr-old girl named Ashley is about to lose her father.

There was no help for this man. There were onlookers. And there is a photograph. But no help. I don’t blame the photographer for taking a picture – I am actually happy that he did, because his hope was that his camera flash would signal the conductor to stop the train early. His assumption was that while he was trying to signal the train, the other observers – those closer to Han – would be helping him up. Yet, in this photo, you can see that everyone has backed away. There were onlookers and there is a photograph. But there was no help for this man.

While I don’t blame the photographer, I do have a problem with the fact that there was time to get 3-4 pictures taken before the train was struck, with a professional camera (so there’s a delay between shots), and that during that time, with all the onlookers, not one stepped forward. There were certainly enough people to at least try. But nobody did. Had he been less rattled from the fall, would he have been able to jump a little higher, pull a little stronger, and survive? Had one person grabbed his hand – just one person reached out to him – would it have been the boost he needed to reach safety?

These are questions we’ll never know answers to. In the moments following, a 2nd-year med school resident tried to resuscitate Han to no avail. People, suddenly materializing again after their noted absence when it counted, took pictures and videos with their cell phones. Han remained unresponsive. God wept. The devil danced.

Later, though, God prevailed again. 20-yr-old Ashley, in shock mourning her father, showed an immeasurable amount of grace towards everybody on that platform. She forgave them. Her father was essentially killed by lack of response from others, and she forgave them. That is saying something – when my roommate and I were out and about a few months ago, we were pickpocketed. The two of us – a man in a wheelchair and a woman – were in a diner full of other grown men and not a single one stopped to help us. It was almost a violated feeling, to be honest – everyone looking and nobody helping. I remember how shocked I was and momentarily angry that nobody came to our aide, and that was a simple matter of bus fare. To lose the life of a family member and be forgiving? I don’t know where this girl is at spiritually, but God was definitely in her that day because that level of grace blows mine right out of the water.

I pray over this situation. I pray for Han’s family as they face the inevitable grief and anger that will come as the shock wears off. I pray for surely-traumatized onlookers. I pray for the doctor – and the photographer – who tried to help in what limited capacities they could. I pray for Davis, now in jail, as he lives with a murder on his hands. There doesn’t seem a way that God can move in this situation. But our God is the God of salvation – of impossible, miraculous things. If God is anything, He is love. And He is able. And today I put my trust in that and pray that He moves in each and every person involved in this incident. Even though there was no miracle witnessed, I pray that they would realize who God is. I pray they would come to embrace their own salvation and realize that God is stronger than even this. I praise Him that He is.

God bless and please join me in prayer over everyone involved in this tragedy.

~Rebekah A

Breaking Oppression

Oct10

So after a few days post-cleansing by God on Sunday, I realized that the freedom I feel goes beyond just forgiveness. It took me until today to really grasp the concept that I was spiritually oppressed. Now I don’t like to give the devil and his minions more credit than they are due, but this freedom is really huge. I went from feeling plagued by a constant feeling of “I never want to be with a guy like that EVER again” and “I loved him” (as if holding on to the fact that I had once loved someone meant something) to just a whole lifting of my soul. God brought it to my mind that during my prayer on Sunday, I prayed against spirits who were reminding me of my past to leave me and never come back. It was in the moment but the more time goes on I realize it was totally Jesus’ leading.

I read up on a post on this area on christianitytoday.com that is related. The minister who wrote the article speaks on identifying the sins in your life that give the demons a foothold into your life and then has the people he works with write them down. He then says:

If the area is not habitual, I ask the person not to write it down. Demons are unrelenting. If they are present, they are persistent. They will not surface only once a month or on holidays. They like to hide, but they are aggressive in their attempts to control the thinking of anyone within whom they hold ground.

When I read that it just solidified within myself even more that it was exactly what was happening to me! I just felt almost consumed by thoughts of how he treated me so badly and how I had loved (although no longer had anyone to love) etc. etc. etc. To the point that now I’m free of it, I can see it wasn’t even me. It was a daily, multi-event struggle in which I couldn’t help but think of those things. It has been getting worse as time has gone on. Months ago I forgave my ex for dumping me the way he did, but I never forgave him for all the times he hurt me. Even if he verbally abused me, it doesn’t mean I needed to hold on to that part of my past by harboring unforgiveness. In harboring my anger, pain, and unforgiveness, I gave the enemy a stronghold in my mind to attack me from. The more I responded to it’s whispers of “he treated you SO badly” and “don’t you remember when he did x,y,z… wasn’t that so horrible?” the more it knew it had found my weakness.

God wants to set us free from oppression.

If you are daily plagued by thoughts multiple times a day either of your past or any other thing that is not of God, know that this struggle might be beyond just you being weak! It took God sending me literally to the other side of America to visit family where very specific preachers would be preaching that Sunday for it to come to surface enough to be banished from my life. I didn’t even recognize things for what they were! I thought I was weak and it was just my self who was creating this spiritual spiral of “stinkin’ thinkin’ ” but God has bringing to light that it was more than just me! Yes, my weakness created a stronghold, but as time continued and I didn’t address things right then and there, the enemy created a place for itself in my life to remind me over and over again of things just for my bitterness and anger to continue.

Please do not think that I’m saying EVERYTHING is of the enemy, but I am saying that if you are caught in what feels almost like a pit of bad thoughts, know that this could be oppression from the enemy and that God wants to take you out of that pit never to return! He wants to save you and through His name you have the power to banish them from your life!!!

If any of this resonates with you- I pray you seek out a prayer partner or even your pastor and ask God to not just reveal to you what are the strongholds in your life you’ve given over to the enemy (anger, hatred, lust, lying, envying… just to name a few). You have to be honest! I was harboring so much within me and God cleansed me of it all… but I had to bring it forth to the light for Him to remove it since He will not forcibly remove things from our lives since He gives us free will. Know there is a much better way of living when you give it all over to Him and allow Him to help cleanse you of oppression. Yes, I was injured, but I didn’t need to allow bitterness and unforgiveness to take hold the way it did. I thought I had forgiven him… but I had only forgiven certain things and not ALL of it. You may be injured this day, but know that His forgiveness can cleanse you and give you the power to forgive others!!! Take the first step and find that He can help you with the rest.

God bless you all my dear readers and I pray that for any of you who are oppressed, know He can and will help you banish those things from your life! In Jesus name you can be free!

I love You Jesus with all my heart. Thank You Jesus.

Rebekah M.

Forgiveness and Renewal Revisited

Oct7

This past weekend was my birthday and just as he seems to have always had the “perfect timing” ever since we broke up- Ex #1 posted on facebook that he was engaged and of course a friend felt the need to tell me. I have come to realize something- our minds are our major battle ground. I have allowed resentment, bitterness, anger and even a touch of hatred enter my heart not only for him, but for his friends who had at one point said I was like a part of their family but dropped me faster than a hot potato once things fell apart between he and I. I keep thinking of his church as a “den of snakes” for he had told me that it was part of their gossip that drove him to dump me- even his pastor’s wife was involved in it. Last weekend was one of the potential (and most likely) dates for the wedding we were starting to plan. As more and more people get married right when I had thought I would be around this time last year, the bitterness grew.

Bitterness, anger, and hatred only breed destruction of ourselves.

God doesn’t want us to harbor these things for they poison our soul. As the preacher this morning said, “Bitterness is like cholesterol clogging your spiritual arteries.” You may not realize how bad it is until you die of a heart attack.

This morning, God cleaned out my spiritual arteries.

I prayed at the alter, the tears falling down as my hair covered my face, and I forgave my ex for each and every time he yelled at me, berated me, made me feel ugly by demanding I go to the gym, and hurt me. Then I forgave the others in my life who have hurt me. Another church that turned their back on me. A pastor’s wife who attacked my character to everyone she had put under me as the Sunday School director as well as anyone else who would listen. A professor who tried to get me kicked out of medical school for her mistake. My ex’s friends who abandoned me in my darkest hour despite having claimed to call me family. As I sit here now I know what happened this morning truly happened- when I prayed forgiveness to all those people I felt His forgiveness not only wash over me, but also extend to those who had wronged me. I realized that it was not MY forgiveness, but HIS. He forgave me for harboring these horrible things within me and all my other sins and that forgiveness overflowed in me enough to flow out to everything else.

I am free.

Then tonight another preacher preached on Jesus healing the man with the withered hand. Life can cause us to become deformed. Hurts we endure can scar a part of us so badly we don’t want anyone else to see. We do whatever we can to hide it- even using our “normal” limb for handshakes so no one realizes the other is blemished. We act like everything is fine to our friends and family. When Jesus says “stretch for thy hand,” however, we need to realize and believe in faith that He means the deformed part of us so that He can make it new. He can heal us. Once again, I cried at the alter, this time seeking God on renewing my hope. Renewing my belief that He intends good things for my life. He did.

I am healed. I am whole.

God has renewed my soul. He has to first take out the muck of hatred, anger, bitterness, and resentment so that He could then perform a healing within me. Readers- I implore you to look within yourself and see if there is anything that says “I know what she means,” for if you do- seek to do the same! I did not do this on my own but I can tell you for a fact that the dark clouds and heavy burden I had felt is now lifted!!! What a mighty, wonderful God we serve!!!! Thank You Lord for healing my soul. Thank You Lord for taking away the resentment and anger. Thank You Lord for renewing hope within my soul!!!

I Love You Jesus with all my heart.

Rebekah M.

Strength in the Struggle (Daily pt. 2)

Oct6

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to Him as an instrument of righteousness.” ~Romans 6:12-13

Before I get into this post, I have to say something: I love Rebekah M and Rebekah L. I love them for their insight, and also for their transparency and courage in putting their own lives, circumstances, and struggles out in the open that others may be encouraged through their blog posts. And lately the theme of all of our posts has been that of a daily struggle – to daily choose God in favor of the world. It’s a struggle I sincerely relate to, and I’m sure you do too. We may not all share the same sins (though we probably share more than you think!), but we probably do all share that underlying fight to choose God in all things.

According to Romans 6, we should be able to overcome sin. We should be able to live free of its hold…and yet, look at us. Our flesh is indeed weak. Even Romans 6 mentions human limitations. It also mentions something else: “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey – whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?” (Romans 6:16).Clearly, we are given a choice. Yes, a daily choice. We are given a choice of whom we shall serve today. And sometimes we even choose God for the entire day. Sometimes we choose sin. Most often, we choose a mix of both – there are 24 whole hours in a day, after all.

Luckily, Romans 6 offers us one last bit of hope in this earthly struggle we face: “For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law but under grace” (Romans 6:14). The meaning here is pretty simple. We are saved by grace, we live eternally under grace, and so we should be impervious to sin. The kicker is, we’re not. We all know that. And the reason is pretty simple: we didn’t save ourselves. We didn’t find our own righteousness. We didn’t grant ourselves eternal life. We are not the ones with the grace. We merely benefit from it.

The One who has the grace offers it to us freely. It is ours to take it, if we only choose it. Day by day, moment by moment, if we choose to walk in that grace it is ours. With the grace comes strength. Yes, we are made of flesh and flesh is weak. Flesh will ultimately decay. But the grace from which we claim our salvation came from Jesus Christ, the One who defeated flesh. For Him, there was no decay. For Him, there was death, and it was conquered. He was powerful enough to conquer death itself, and had the grace to save us too. And that’s the cool part. As He gave us His grace, we can also access His power. And that power does indeed help us conquer sin.

Yes, flesh is weak, and we have a daily struggle. The fact that I’m writing a post about this certainly doesn’t make me any more righteous. All I’m saying is that Jesus knows we have a struggle. And He knew it 2000 years ago. And He gives us access to Himself so that we don’t have to struggle alone. Through Him, we have grace to live eternally. Through Him, we have the strength to win the fight against temptation and sin. So often, we find ourselves tempted by sin, and we find ourselves turning away from God. It’s kind of like the child raiding the cookie jar. If Mom doesn’t see us in action, we don’t get caught. Trust me: mom noticed. Whether you were in trouble or not, you were most certainly caught.

There’s nothing we can truly hide from God. We have His full attention all of the time. So when we hide from Him or stop seeking Him out so that He doesn’t see our impure thoughts….we aren’t blocking His view. We’re blocking ours. We’re preventing ourselves from accessing the one source of strength that’s powerful enough to help us defeat this temptation, instead of giving into it and repenting later. The moments of temptation are expected. The draw of sin and the struggle to defeat it is expected. And God has mercy on it, and will help us through it. But we have to let Him.

It’s not just a matter of choosing daily to follow God’s will. It’s also a matter of choosing Him to move in us and help us defeat the things that would pull us away from Him in the first place. It’s a daily choice to follow God in action, and to press into Him in our hearts – to allow Him to refine us. So often we deal with the sin as it comes up. Especially if it’s habitual. We just chalk it up to having a weak moment, tell Jesus we’re sorry, and we go on with our day. And that’s ok. That’s going to happen sometimes. But what we also need to do is be inviting Jesus into the center of our hearts before the moment of temptation ever comes, to take that preemptive strike against sin and allow Him to give us a new heart that truly, truly desires Him more.

Jesus, I pray for You to move in me. Come into my heart, my whole heart, even the dark corners that are cloaked in shame from the ongoing struggles that I too have. Come into those places especially God. Grant me wisdom on why I’m tempted and grant me strength to overcome it, but most of all Jesus, I pray that you take the root of my weakness and replace it with the new heart you have for me. Remake me stronger in You. I desire to desire You. I know I will have to do work too, but I depend on You for help and strength. I praise You that You are a mighty and merciful God, and I give thanks for Your grace. I love You Jesus – help me to love You with my whole heart.

Join me and the other Rebekahs in choosing God daily, on an even deeper level. And know that I’m praying for you. And of course, if you have specific prayer requests or things you’re struggling with, feel free to let me know at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com. God bless!

~Rebekah A

His Creation All Around Me

Sep21

“The heavens are Yours, and Yours also the earth; You founded the world and all that is in it.” ~Psalm 89:11

Walking to the grocery store today, I was struck repeatedly by how beautiful everything was around me. Granted, I live in an urban area, so natural beauty is more scarce here than other places. But still, people plant flowers and there’s the occasional tree on a side street.

Today for some reason, the colors just seemed extra bright, the designs extra beautiful, the outside air extra refreshing. Even the bugs seemed beautiful in there own way – and I hate bugs. Why? Because today for some reason, I just had an overwhelming sense of God’s presence. He is in this world. He is here. Not a single shape or color in a flower, not a single branch or leaf of a tree, not a single blade of grass or feather in a bird, has escaped His notice. He brought it all into being. Our Father is so creative!!

With this in mind, I had to rejoice. For if He pays such attention to the details of nature and still objects, how much more attention is paid to we who must actively follow a path? Not a single step we take, trait we possess, laugh we laugh, or tear we cry escapes His notice. He is in this world. He is here. He’s with us and in us, and we are never alone. How amazing is that?

On the way home, I was passed by a man in a hurry. I felt a big urge to pray for him. Distance was quickly building between him and me. He didn’t seem friendly. His headphones were on. And suddenly he ducked into the post office and appeared to be busy. There were a million little reasons such as these to not stop him and pray for him. So, I didn’t. I prayed for him on my own, but I did not stop and lay hands on him the way I felt like I needed to.

The sense of failure was profound. But beyond that was a sweet reminder. It doesn’t matter how much we mess up, or how many times. It doesn’t matter how broken people are, or what horrific acts occur. He is in this world. He is here. There is hope.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Knowing Where You’ve Been

Sep17

As Christians, we are taught to shed our past. Whether it be all the misguided things we did before knowing Jesus, or a lifetime of growing in Him, we are called to be constantly going forward, to shed the things we know and to step into the path our Savior has for us. There’s even an example (in Genesis 19) where Lot flees the city of Sodom with his family, so that he may escape its destruction, and his wife turns to look back on the place they’d made their home and becomes a pillar of salt.

Well, I certainly don’t want to turn into a pillar of salt. I don’t much want you to turn into one either. But as much as you leave your past behind you, I would also like to remind you not to be guilty of it. If you have truly shed it, truly repented to God and are stepping forward away from it and into the new heart/plan He has for you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what you’ve done, you are no longer that person and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You may not be perfect now, in fact you definitely aren’t – welcome to humanity. BUT if you have grown in God from where you’ve been, you are new nonetheless.

And that’s important. Because when we are ashamed, we tend to sweep it under the rug and hope nobody notices. I implore you to shed the shame along with the actions. When there is no shame, we don’t feel the need to hide it. When our past is open, it becomes a testimony. “Look where I was back then….look where I am now!” Who but God can work such a change in a person’s heart?

So yes, readers, shed your past. Move forward from where you were. But while you’re journeying from your past to your future, take time to rejoice in the work God has done and the change He has made in you. He is a good God and does all things for our good!

I am praying for all of you readers that your past may find its place harmlessly behind you. If you need prayer over something specific, feel free to write to me at being.rebekah.a@gmail.com, and I will gladly stand in prayer with you.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Getting To The Root

Sep9

Recently, I’ve been trying to submit ALL of myself to Jesus. Places that maybe I’m harboring for myself and don’t know it, or things that I’ve been holding back from Him….I just have really felt a pull to Him lately, and want no separation between Him and myself. So I’ve been inviting Him into my heart a little more deeply lately, asking Him to shed light into all those dark corners.

Sounds straightforward, right? Not exactly. See, there are certain traits I have that I don’t like too much – we all have them. Nobody’s perfect. So I’ve been submitting them to God just in case there was sin at the heart of it. I’m a procrastinator; does that come from laziness? Does it come from pride – thinking my time is more valuable than others’? Sometimes I can be a great organizer, but I can also be afraid to take action sometimes. Is that laziness? Am I completely failing to posses any of the productive qualities I see in Proverbs 31?

So I’m sitting there on the phone with my prayer partner, repenting my complete selfishness and horribleness as a person, and she prayed through it with me, and said “I don’t think you’re at the root of it yet.” So she prayed for discernment for me, and I just let God in.

As it happens, she was right. God had more to reveal. As a child, I was expected to appear perfect, and failure was not an option at all. Even ‘failures’ that are necessary to be learning experiences. I haven’t thought about that for years, but that fear of failure became the root of a lot of my less desirable qualities that I have today. In letting Him in and submitting that fear, not only are those related traits lessening, but my heart is finding an incredible level of peace the more I let God in to work on it.

This is the faithfulness of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what you’ve experienced, who you’ve become. He can make you anew. He can make you whole. He can get to the root of the dark places we harbor in our hearts, and remove the weeds completely. He can take bad qualities and replace them with good. He can take fear and replace it with peace. He is our Provider on a deeper level than we can possibly know.

Speaking of giving peace, I have a side note: Tomorrow is suicide awareness day. Take some time to think of the people you know in your life who may be struggling, and say a prayer for them. Pray for peace of mind and heart for all those struggling to find their worth and their reason for existence, and pray that instead of losing this battle, that these dark times would serve to reveal God to them. Pray for readiness to be a vessel of God’s light, love, peace, and hope wherever He may need you to be.

God bless!

~Rebekah A