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God’s Sorrow

A few weeks ago a closer friend of mine was messing up. Calling me on the phone while she was drunk, she told me she was messing up.  We kept talking and it was clear that she was driving while intoxicated. I felt SUCH sorrow like I have never felt before.  It wasn’t even disappointment, it was just such a deep, loving sorrow because I knew that it was her fear of her current circumstances and doubt in God’s love and protection that drove her to the state she was in at the time.  I didn’t judge her, I wasn’t angry, I was just deeply sorrowful that she was making these destructive choices for herself and worried for her safety.  As I felt those feelings go through me, I felt SUCH kindship with how God must feel when we mess up. I cried on the phone as I continued to talk to her but felt compelled to ask God in my heart to forgive me…. realizing how I must have made Him feel like that when I was messing up with [the guy I was unofficially dating who is not in church] but on so much of a deeper level since God loves more than I ever could.saddened

Are you doing something today that brings sorrow to God’s heart? Are you in a place where God is weeping over the choices you are making, not from anger or judgement, but because He knows you are only bringing yourself potential destruction? My friend, God watched over her.  She made it home safe, she repented, she’s not gone back to any of that.  More than that, God used that time to show her things that had never been fully understood by her before.  Just as she allowed God to mold her time of fear and doubt into a faith building moment when everything was turned over in His light, let it be so for you as well! Turn from your actions! Don’t go back! You are stronger than all that THROUGH JESUS!   Know that His love for you is unfailing, it is forever and without regret! Jesus Christ loves you with all His heart and what a mighty, vast heart it is!!!! There is no end to His love!!! You don’t have to try to find peace from the things of this world- for they will never bring you true peace and true happiness- it will only be found in Christ!!! Know that His love is SO deep and it is for YOU!

God bless you readers and may you feel the depths of His love today,

Rebekah M.

Prayer Monday: Prayer Wheel – Deliver Us from Evil

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heavenGive us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 

~Matthew 6:9-13

devil

This week we continue with the prayer wheel. We started off with worship, asked for His Will to be done, then to provide our daily needs, to forgive us as we forgive others, and now we’re going to ask Him to deliver us from evil.  This is not saying that evil is stronger than good, but in acknowledging that we need His help, it is the key to staying free from sin.  I recently have been learning what it means to have a “fear of the Lord.”  It is a fundamental understanding that one is not immune to sinning. It is knowing that we must seek God for the strength to stay away from sins.  It is believing that although the world has temptations, God is able to keep us strong against them.

Even apostle Paul himself struggled with the wrong urges- Romans 7:15

God is made strong in our weakness- II Cor 12:9

He is able to keep us from falling- Jude 1:24

We can do all things through Christ- Philippians 4:13

It is okay to realize you are human and want to do the wrong things at times. It is okay to acknowledge this, but you don’t have to give in! Pray and God will be your strength! Ask Him to help you with your daily temptations! I believe that there are things that could be coming your way that you can pray a block against.  Yes, there are things that must come our way for us to grow, but remember that God will not send anything your way that you cannot handle (I Cor 10:13).  Hold strong my friends, and pray for God to deliver you from evil and He will!

Rebekah M.

Related posts:

Part 1: https://beingrebekah.com/2013/03/11/prayer-monday-the-prayer-wheel-part-1-praise/

Part 2: https://beingrebekah.com/2013/03/18/prayer-monday-the-prayer-wheel-his-will/

Part 3: https://beingrebekah.com/2013/04/01/prayer-monday-the-prayer-wheel-daily-needs/

Part 4: https://beingrebekah.com/2013/04/08/prayer-monday-the-prayer-wheel-our-debts/

The Visions: Part 3

This is part of an email that was sent to my parents by a prophet (who calls my dad uncle because in the Chinese culture anyone your father’s age is an “uncle”) in another country before I wrote what I did in Praying Monday: Press On but they didn’t receive it until afterwards. In it there were three visions. After they confronted me the next day about these visions, I wrote A Daddy’s ChastisementThe Visions: Part One was posted 2/14/13. I was messing up- unofficially in a relationship with a guy who didn’t know God and worse yet, doing things that I shouldn’t with him. Not THAT, but still wrong in God’s eyes. People, some even in church, told me it wasn’t bad or wrong so long as it wasn’t THAT, but God’s standards are not our standards.  I pray that in revealing these visions the prophet had of me, those of you who might be contemplating going down the same road are warned and those who have been there encouraged that God loves you even when what He saw you do this:

HPIM0322.JPGThird picture He show me was I see your daughter she go in the church. She  very happy worship God in the church. The man comes. He sit beside at church. Sudden church seem to bright. Air uncomfortable. The man hurts her. She go to another seat. She worship God. Another man come sit next to her. And church is become too warm. Uncomfortable. This man hurts her too. She go out the church. A man call to her from shade. She go over. Is very cool in shade. Is not too bright. Is fresh air. Everything is better with him. She need decide, lead him in to church or stay in cool shade with him. She know she should lead him in to church, but she remember how inside was so uncomfortable. She feel much better outside. So she stay outside in nice cool shade. And is nice outside for awhile. Then the shade sudden become very dark. The nice cool shade become cold darkness! Dark as night. The storm come. She try to get out of storm. She try run to church. She not can open the door. She not can get inside. The poison inside her make her to weak to open door. 

The bold letters are the prophet’s formatting.  He then urged my parents to pray for me before it was too late and I was too weak to open the door. Given that it’s been over 2 months since this all happened, it’s still flooring to see how God did everything.  I have been trying to lead this guy to Christ. I have made my choice. With tears streaming down my face I told him that he was what I wanted, but not what I needed.  I needed a praying man. I needed a man who knew as much as I did (and would teach our future children) that Jesus loves us beyond words. He loves us so much that He died for our sins.  He’s even said he would read John chapters 1-3 with an open mind (although I’m not 100% sure how well that will turn out since he isn’t sure when he’ll find the time just some vague… “eventually”).

Regardless… Praise God! Praise God that He had this sent before it was too late. Before I was so full of poison that I couldn’t get back to Him. Praise God that what was one of my most mortifying moments in my life brought about one of the greatest blessings in my life: nightly family prayer 🙂  I don’t know if this guy will ever stop walking the line, but I know that I can’t date him and think it won’t affect me.  The detail in this is incredible. He didn’t know of my exes and yet plain as day- both were “in church” and yet both hurt me badly. Drove me away from looking for guys in the church- especially when the guy outside is SO much nicer than them.  But those were only two guys and don’t represent all guys in the church- God’s shown me that in the time since.  I just have to keep waiting on Him, being a light, and seeing where God takes things 🙂

Jesus, 

Thank You once again for saving me. Thank You for bringing the visions to my parents attention before it was too late.  Thank You Lord! Thank You Jesus! I praise You and I thank You! I love You Jesus! 

Rebekah M. 

Related Posts:

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/01/28/praying-monday-pressing-on/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/01/29/a-daddys-chastisement/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/02/14/the-visions-part-1/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/02/28/the-visions-part-2/

https://beingrebekah.com/2013/05/02/the-visions-loved-like-gomer-was/

Multiplying Texts

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according tohis purpose. ~ Romans 8:28

Recently, one of my friends has been going through a rough time.  She is called. She has a purpose. Jesus has a destiny for her.  Sometimes though, on our way to fulfilling our destiny, God allows things to happen in our lives so that our chains can be burned away so that we are ready for His tasks. phone

I truly believe in Romans 8:28.  I believe that ALL things come together.  In her struggles yesterday, she was texting me and God latched on to something He said through me and used technology to multiple the text.  I told her:

[Friend]-  be strong. The Lord is your strength. He is your shield. He will uphold you in His arms of love.

I found out today that God had that same text sent to her almost hourly yesterday from the moment I sent it until 11PM last night.  All day she was fighting a tough battle. Things flying in from all directions.  What I said did not feel incredibly profound to me at the moment. I felt like I was speaking truth but clearly, God knew it was a truth that she had to hear all day.  She sees it (as I do) as a miracle.

This is the God we serve. This is my Jesus.  That something that I felt was meaningful but definitely not profound enough to send the same text 15 times in the same day, He multiplied and resent to her all day long- to remind her He loves her. That He will uphold her. That He will be her shield.  That He is her strength.

Dear readers- know that God loves you just as much! Know that He will also uphold You in His arms of love. Know that He will be your shield as well! Know that He is your strength as much as He is mine, as much as He is my friend’s!

Jesus, 

Thank You that You’ll even take a seemingly simple text and multiply it for the needs of the recipient. Thank You that even technology is in Your hands. Thank You that ALL things work together when put in Your hands!!! Praise You Jesus! Thank You Jesus!!! 

Rebekah M. 

Rough Day

An upright man gives thought to his ways (Proverbs 21:29)

So today was rough. I started the day with finding out I missed something on a patient that, although not fatal, was a BIG thing to miss. Nothing bad happened, but I shouldn’t have missed it. Later on, I had a huge blow when a test showed another one of my patients had a silent but potentially deadly condition. One where a person can go from looking fine to dead in just a few minutes.

It really got to me. I had instantly bonded with this patient and his wife and, although he was fine at the moment, knowing that he was so seriously ill (although it was not evident looking at him) got me to the core. Being emotionally invested in my people means that when they are hurting, I hurt. When they aren’t doing well, it makes me feel a bit like I’m not doing well. It makes me a good doctor, but it also makes me vulnerable to burnout.

Recently, another student joined my team. We start the day at the same time, work in the same office space, and typically have most of our meals together.  He’s even made it his mission to have me watch the entire series of Scrubs (all 8, not counting the fake 9th season). We essentially spend most of our day together until I pray with my family at night or go to church.

Knowing that I was so emotionally compromised today, I had a moment where I thought, “I must be careful. I am missing [the guy I just let go], I am spending LOTS of time with this guy every day, my heart is hurting for my patient, and my pride is hurt from my missing that thing yesterday. I need to be careful.”

So what did I do? I talked to a friend that I knew would lay it to me straight. Luckily, since I was preemptively seeking help, she mainly confirmed that yes, I was right to be concerned and it was good I was being mindful and careful.  Are there times where he’s flirty with me? She confirmed that yes, when he does things like taking my stethoscope from around my neck even though he had his in his pocket and taunted me about it in front of the nurses, that was flirting. But she also confirmed that that’s why it was good I was reaching out NOW, BEFORE anything was happening. The best part was that she even prayed with me and prayed over me about this.

I think I’m growing. This time with a guy who seems attracted to me but not someone I can date (since he does not believe like I do), I am seeking God in prayer. This time I am saying “Lord, I’m weak, I know that I’m vulnerable to being attracted to this guy. Help me God, help me be good. Help me not do anything wrong. Help me Jesus.”  Like the above verse in Proverbs, I feel like I am reflecting on my past and knowing that just because he’s not in church, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to his charms.  It just means that Jesus is my strength. That even on rough days, I can find comfort in Him, not in a guy’s hug (mental or physical). That even on days when I’m worried for my patients and was just reprimanded, God is good and holds me through it.  I don’t need a guy to cheer me up, just Jesus.

Thank You Lord for helping me through this rough day.  Thank You God that I didn’t turn to man (or a man in this case) but I turned to You. Thank You God that I am safe in Your arms.  Thank You Jesus for giving me strength to be good and not offer anything more than just friendship.  I praise You. I worship You. I love and adore You Jesus more than anything else and I love that I can say it and mean it!!! 

Rebekah M. 

Identity in Christ

Definition of Identity:

1) The fact of being who or what a person or thing is.Fingerprint

2) A close similarity or affinity.

I have spent the last few years on a journey of discovering who I am. It started with uncovering a family secret in 2009 that the man who raised me may not actually be my biological father. Worse than this discovery was finding out that the man suspected of being my father was the person in my life who had wounded me more deeply than any other human being on this earth. Emotionally this put me in a tailspin. As a result I started down a path to try to gain a sense of identity. In the last few months I have done extensive research on my family tree and a few days ago received the results of a DNA test to help answer some of these questions. The outcome of this test gave me more questions than answers.

The results of this test were not exactly what I wanted. In talking about it with my godfather he said that sometimes it’s better not to know. He is right, but it’s in our human nature to want to understand where we come from and why things happened the way they did. But I thank God that He has given me peace in this situation. The Lord has held me through every fear and comforted me through my tears. He is my true Father!

I Praise the Lord for His revelation to me that my identity does not lie in bloodlines and broken promises, my identity rests in Jesus Christ! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Where I come from is not important, it’s where I am going!

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” (John 1:12-13).

When we are baptized in Jesus Name, we take on His name! We enter into a relationship with Him and from then on we get to use the family name. What a privilege it is to be able to call ourselves Christians! He is our perfect father. He takes care of us, provides our needs, He helps us to grow and even disciplines as we need it because of His enduring love. When we receive His spirit we are freed from the bondage of the enemy and we receive the “spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba, Father” (Romans 8:15).

“Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).

I want to be so wraAbba, father, daddypped up in God that it is obvious to everyone that I meet that I belong to Him! I want people to know that I am His child. I want my identity to rest firmly in Him! I want to encourage all of our readers to embrace your Christian identity. There is nothing greater than the salvation He offers us, but beyond that we have received something so special from God; we have received the right to call him Daddy!

In His Love,

Rebekah L.

Rolling With the Punches

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; ~ II Corinthians 4:8-9 KJV

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. ~ II Corinthians 4:10 NIV

Tonight I got a flat tire. Right as I was pulling up to church my tire went flat. I essentially missed EVERYTHING- caroling, the dinner– but God is still good! I praise Him that it happened RIGHT as I was getting to the church.  I praise Him that it was an opportunity to invite the guy who changed my tire to the church.  I praise Him that He is good in ALL things!! I know my God can turn ANY situation into good (Romans 8:28).

Tonight my mom called me up to encourage me.  I thank God for her.  She was like “I’ve been praying for you honey and I felt God say this was just a Job moment.” That is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately.  God wants to SHINE through my situations.  He wants to shine by showing a reversal of the situation with me potentially never becoming a doctor.  He wants to shine by showing that I can get a flat but He can use it for good.  He wants to shine by having told Satan “have you considered my handmaiden [Rebekah M.]?” He wants to shine.

Jesus,

Shine through me.  Let everything be done in Your timing.  I praise You. I thank You that You count me worthy.  I thank You Lord! I praise You Jesus!!! There is NONE like you!!! I thank You Jesus that You are good even in the midst of the storm!! I thank You Jesus that You are full of grace and truth.  I love You Jesus.  I WILL praise You in this storm. Bless these readers. Bless those who are going through a storm to see Your hands.  Bless those who are in a season of favor to recognize it and claim their blessings! Bless my dear, wonderful Lord.  I love You with all my heart.

Rebekah M.