Praise Report!!! Hope Where there Seemed No Hope!

Dec14

Dear readers who have been following my journey- God may have provided a way of escape for me! Having just posted my post last night about Freedom and praising Him despite my fears and doubts and letting them fall away, I received an email this morning from one of my top choices today saying that they would still rank me despite my current situation!!! I have hope!!! Even better- it came AFTER my praise and worship!!! WOW! Wonderful God that He gave me the chance to show true trust and faith in Him! This journey isn’t over yet, but I have hope of truly becoming a doctor and working at a place that I enjoy!!! Wonderful, wonderful Savior, thank You for hope!!!

Rebekah M.

Rolling With the Punches

Dec8

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; ~ II Corinthians 4:8-9 KJV

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. ~ II Corinthians 4:10 NIV

Tonight I got a flat tire. Right as I was pulling up to church my tire went flat. I essentially missed EVERYTHING- caroling, the dinner– but God is still good! I praise Him that it happened RIGHT as I was getting to the church. I praise Him that it was an opportunity to invite the guy who changed my tire to the church. I praise Him that He is good in ALL things!! I know my God can turn ANY situation into good (Romans 8:28).

Tonight my mom called me up to encourage me. I thank God for her. She was like “I’ve been praying for you honey and I felt God say this was just a Job moment.” That is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. God wants to SHINE through my situations. He wants to shine by showing a reversal of the situation with me potentially never becoming a doctor. He wants to shine by showing that I can get a flat but He can use it for good. He wants to shine by having told Satan “have you considered my handmaiden [Rebekah M.]?” He wants to shine.

Jesus,

Shine through me. Let everything be done in Your timing. I praise You. I thank You that You count me worthy. I thank You Lord! I praise You Jesus!!! There is NONE like you!!! I thank You Jesus that You are good even in the midst of the storm!! I thank You Jesus that You are full of grace and truth. I love You Jesus. I WILL praise You in this storm. Bless these readers. Bless those who are going through a storm to see Your hands. Bless those who are in a season of favor to recognize it and claim their blessings! Bless my dear, wonderful Lord. I love You with all my heart.

Rebekah M.

Unexpected Blessings: Concerts and Policemen

Nov14

Concerts:

Tonight, I got to go to the concert of a conductor friend of mine. He has worked so hard to get to where he is today. It was amazing to me that I was there for his very first performance back in high school and today, I was able to see him conduct a powerful group of singers in a prestigious music program. My how far we can go! I was unsure if I should take time away from church (my last service here in this city) to go, but then on my way I felt God tell me it was okay. Low and behold, the last song was about putting our hands to the plow, holding on, and moving forward. The vocals were phenomenal- it reminded me that God’s creation is so amazing and perfect. That JUST voices could create such a beautiful, powerful sound struck me with awe for His great ways. To top it off with lyrics that hold such meaning…. what a blessing where I was least expecting it!!!

Policemen:

All my life I struggled with self esteem issues until Ex #1 broke up with me, I went on an over 2 month fast, and God transformed me so completely from the inside out that I realized it was GOD esteem that mattered. It doesn’t matter what I look like on the outside, and yet I realized that God made me beautiful. I saw who GOD saw me as and so it mattered more that I was praying than grooming time did. I cared more for thinking of what things pleased Him than I did about how I could do things to please guys in how they saw me. When I looked in the mirror all I saw was that God created me beautiful. Lately, I’ve felt fat. I’d look in the mirror and for some reason, even though I haven’t gone up a size in clothes yet, all I see is the fatness.

Tonight, as I was walking back to my room at the hospital (I’m living in the hospital this month), one of the policemen that guard the ER asked me out. He was tall, good looking, and straight up stopped me to ask me out- my kind of guy! It was just so assuring because it felt like to me that Jesus was saying “see? You are still beautiful, even when you don’t see it. I will bring you a husband… in MY timing.” For along with the feelings of physical ugliness, I just starting wishing I had a husband. My brain would ruminate over the fact that Ex #1 is married (while I am not), so many other people are married, and so many others are also having kids and sending them to pre-school etc. etc. etc.

I want a family that lives for Jesus. I want a husband who will lead us all on this journey towards Christ with a passion for the God of creation. I want a man who will be a father to our children, a prayer partner that connects with my spirit, and a friend who gets my soul. I also realized I’m pretty superficial and hope he’s CUTE! haa! Is my definition of cute the same as everyone else’s? Not always. haa haa! And this policeman was certainly good looking in my book! So I think Jesus was just saying- wait some more on ME, my child. Wait.

Jesus,

Thank You for these unexpected blessings. Thank You for things to make me smile and soothe my weary soul. Thank You for Your goodness and mercy. Thank You for reminding me You find me beautiful. Give me strength to just WAIT. I love You Jesus with all my heart.

Rebekah M.

BTW- for those wondering, I told him I was moving tomorrow (because I am) so I wouldn’t be able to go on a date with him… it was still a nice way to end my day though 🙂

God’s Choice

Nov4

We here at BeingRebekah have (clearly) not been posting as much lately and I (Rebekah M.) just wanted to give some updates on our lives 🙂

Rebekah A and L have been dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Although both were spared (thank You Jesus!), one was without power for days and the other had to deal with searching over two days to find gasoline. It is so wonderful that everyone is accounted for and safe. Thank You Jesus for Your tender mercies!!!

I had a busy day yesterday with an interview in the morning and service over an hour away at night. It was amazing meeting new people though. After service, a bunch of us went out to eat and there came a time of discussion and they pointed out that Saul was a choice to fulfill the wrongful wishes of the people while David was to fulfill God’s wishes.

During service this morning, I felt God talk to me (completely unrelated to the sermon) a bit more about this in terms of my life. My first ex, I felt God say that was a fulfillment of shallow wishes- he was SO handsome- 6’2, blonde, blue eyed, biceps as large as my thighs, when I first started talking to him and told my friends “you know, the guy that looks like a Ken Doll” they immediately knew who I was speaking about. But He said to me today “MY choice for the man for your life will not be as you expect, he will have a heart after Me.” I got the sense I may not even recognize him as God’s choice for me initially. David was the LAST one brought to Samuel to anoint because no one would expect HIM of all people to be God’s choice for future king. So who knows, maybe he’s even already in my life right now and I just don’t recognize him yet?

It should be kept in mind that Saul had a purpose- (I Sam 9)”that he may save My people from the hand of the Philistines.” Messed up as the situation was, Saul served his purpose just as Ex #1 served the purpose of growing me more in Him than ever before and expanding who I am as a person to be more tolerant of others, more calm in the midst of storm (for He was right by my side during the most painful time of my life), and to praise Him at all times.

All I do know is that I also get the sense that God was telling me not to worry. Just as He was already preparing David long before he was anointed king, He has been preparing a David for my life long before we start dating. I actually think it started on my “victory day” back in December when I finished my 3 week fast for Ex#1 and worshipped for over an hour on the phone with my parents and then my prayer partner, praising God for my unseen victory (even without him in my life ever again for I felt God was creating a new path in my life that day).

Jesus,

Thank You for providing a David for my life. Thank You that even if I may not recognize him, you know his heart and You know when the right time will be for us to finally start a new chapter together. Lord, just help me leave it all in Your capable hands and give no thought to the when and the how. I love You Jesus and I praise You and thank You for the life You have provided for me!

Rebekah M.

http://www.enduringword.com/commentaries/0909.htm

http://www.enduringword.com/commentaries/0916.htm

Finding My Church

Oct21

Before moving to NY, I was part of a non-denominational Christian church. Our doctrine? The Bible. It was common for church-goers to have a weekly fast day, and come every week with visions, dreams, revelations from God. Bible studies, a 24-hr prayer room, and prayer meetings throughout the week abounded. Some even lived in special houses together, as a way to live intentionally for Christ and witness to others they came in contact with. These people lived for Christ and Christ alone, and He led us to do some really amazing things.

I haven’t found that same combination of spirituality, passion for Jesus, and sense of community/family anywhere since moving. I did find a church whose preaching I love, and I still listen to it in my free time, but it was so big that you could go every week and never see the same person twice. I found one that was smaller and has great outreach and a sense of community, but I have been questioning the spiritual strength. I get the impression that if I were walking down the street with other churchgoers, and felt called to pray for someone that we passed, they might not join me with it. And talking about a fast day, for no reason other than to strengthen my own walk, seems to be a foreign idea. But it could also be a sign that I could be a leader here.

I reached out to my new pastor with an email and a prayer request….just something I was looking for wisdom on. And he replied immediately, with a “I’ll keep it in my prayers”. And at first glance, that’s great. But for some reason, the quick response bothered me. I was sort of hoping He’d spend some time with God before replying. I was going to him with some pretty intense things – signs and visions from my old church, and I wanted his take or some extra wisdom on it. It was almost enough to make me decide that maybe this isn’t my church home after all.

However, to be fair, the advice I sought was based on a few things that are tough to grasp at best, let alone when you’re hearing the story as a third party. Meanwhile I joined a small group there, called a growth group, which keeps me there til Christmas. I’m praying in that time that things have a chance to play out and I get some guidance on where I’m supposed to be!

In the meantime, be praying for me that I hear God’s guidance clearly!

Thanks, and God bless!

~Rebekah A

The Garment of Praise

Oct18

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. ~Isaiah 61:3

So I found out today that my Ex #1 got married this past weekend- just a few weeks after when we had originally planned to. Although I did not and do not want him back, I can’t help but feel slightly heavy in my spirit. Barely over a year ago I told him I loved him… a month after he had started telling me he loved me. I don’t give my love lightly and I don’t think anyone should, but nor should we cling to the past.

Even if I made no efforts to find out this information on my ex, I know God allowed me to be told to solidify that he chose his path and God has released me to a much better and brighter future.

I praise Him now, knowing He is good. I praise Him knowing He has saved me from pain and sorrow. I praise Him now that I wasn’t stuck in an abusive (emotionally and verbally) relationship.

Jesus,

Thank You for saving me. Thank You for Your goodness. I thank You that even if people may claim to love us but their actions show otherwise, Your love is pure and Your love is real. I love You Jesus with all my heart.

Rebekah M.

Fighting Children

Oct14

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. ~Exodus 14:14

Tonight I watched kids at a home church. It was quite the experience. Towards the end, one of the children (who I will now refer to as “Bobby”) threw a ball very hard at another child (“Joey”), so much so the second child started crying. I told Bobby to apologize but he refused, saying he was not sorry. Joey became VERY angry and walked right up to him… I quickly made him back away and told him not to fight him- that God told us to turn the other cheek and to let Him fight our battles. I then put Bobby in the corner but he refused to stay there. I then had to hold him there as gently as I could while still keeping control on him staying in the corner despite him punching, pinching, and kicking the whole time. In the end, Bobby did eventually apologize to Joey after being in the corner for over five minutes.

For me, this four year old child was not too much of a challenge- just picking him up under his arms was enough to set him back in the corner and when he’d kick the walls to push me, I could easily lean my body back and keep him in the corner. I was very much in control of how much he was able to do and yet did not hurt him one bit. If these two children had duked it out like Joey had wanted, Joey might have gotten hurt even though he was not the one at fault. As I described this event to my parents on the way home tonight, it struck me just how much it could be applied to our lives as adults!

God’s Word says to let the Lord fight our battles- we just need to hold our peace! Just imagine, our enemies are to Him like that little four year old was to me- easy to deal with despite the kicking and large amounts of protesting from him. When we try to fight our enemies ourselves, we have so much potential for getting hurt when it is just child’s play for God! So dear readers, sit back and let God fight your battles for you and know that not only is He doing it all, He’s keeping you safe by asking you not to involve yourself in retribution for what has been done to you!!!!

Jesus,

Thank You for protecting me as You fight my battles! Thank You for being such a wonderful, loving Father. I love You Jesus with all my heart 🙂

Rebekah M.

Ready For…..?

Oct11

We humans are in a perpetual state of preparation. We wake up in the morning and we start to prepare ourselves for the day: we get dressed, do our hair and makeup (unless you’re me, in which case makeup is reserved for special occasions and hair is thrown up into a ponytail on the way downstairs, but I digress), eat breakfast, brush our teeth. If we have families, we prepare them for the day also. We run errands in preparation for household tasks. We cook in preparation to eat. We budget and have savings accounts in preparation for retirement/emergencies/new things. Whether it be for a long-term or short-term goal, we are constantly getting ready for things here on earth. The problem is, our lives consist of more than just things that happen on earth. There is a spiritual realm too, and our lives are very much a part of it. But what do we do to prepare ourselves spiritually?

When we think ‘spiritual’, we tend to think long-term. We think of going to heaven, or of a vague image of Jesus watching over us. We might also think of praying and having God answer our prayers. And yes, that encompasses a lot – praying for ourselves and for others is a huge part of our spiritual lives. However, when it comes down to it, so many of our physical acts have some bearing on the spiritual realm. And when you think of how much preparation those physical acts take, it starts to become clear how much our spiritual preparation is lacking.

I’ve posted before about how every second of the day, we are serving something. Is every second of the day serving God? And if not, who or what are you serving instead? These minute-by-minute choices absolutely ricochet into the spiritual realm. We are spiritual beings eternally, while our flesh only lasts a short time. Our body is merely an extension of our spiritual selves. And our every physical thought and interaction has some significance in the spirit. Are we truly prepared for that? How much time do we spend listening to God in the morning for some direction on our day? For some guidance on a situation that’s either here already or is coming our way? How much time do we spend in His word, using it as a mirror so that we may live rightly and store up treasures in heaven? Do we spend time fasting so that even our physical selves and physical world can draw closer to Him?

We need to start preparing for our days spiritually as well as physically. If that means waking up a little early to spend time with Jesus before you start your day, or foregoing the music on the way to work so you can pray, do it. Find a way to spend that time with the Lord, much the way you spend time on yourself. Spend time with Him and get yourself ready to be a true vessel of Christ, a true member of the body, in everything that you do.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

Off the Back Burner

Sep27

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:38-39

Jesus loves us. This we know (for the Bible tells us so…). Song aside, this is a simple fact. He loves us with a love so pure and deep it is beyond our comprehension. We as Christians know this. We also know that God is a jealous God (see Exodus 34), and desires us – the dedication of our whole being.

As loved and desired as we are by our Lord Jesus Christ, we do a great job of ignoring Him in return. So many of us turn to Him to get us through the hard times, or to guide us over a rocky patch. Then when things are going well again, we stop seeking Him as strongly. We know better than to think we can do this life thing on our own, yet we still begin spending less time with Him. On an intellectual level, we know we need Him. But on a heart level, we think we’re doing ok, and we do our thing. Sure, sometimes we reach out to Jesus or worship or pray, but it’s not as often and not as heartfelt.

Then, sure enough, the tide turns again and times turn tough. Relationships end. And then we’re right back to seeking God again for help. Driven by pain, desperation, and loneliness, we seek out our Father for comfort and healing. He gives it, and gives us love and peace. So what do we do? We rejoice that we’re all better, and we leave Him alone again.

Basically, there is a huge tendency among Christians to turn Jesus into our rebound guy. We go after things that look and sound good here on earth. When they turn out to be false or not so great after all, we go crawling back to Jesus. We keep Him on the back burner for the times we need His, and when we don’t, our walk so often grows complacent.

Readers, this is not the way to treat the lover of your soul. He is not meant as a crutch. He is meant to be our everything. Do we truly, TRULY desire Him above all other things and people that can be found in this world? Truly? Because we should.

In the Bible, Rebekah left everything she knew – her home, her family and friends – in order to follow her Isaac to his home land and be his wife. Up til now, we have always considered Isaac to be a person. But what if he isn’t? After all, we are told that we are Christ’s bring, aren’t we? So, what if the example is really telling us that this is the way we’re supposed to follow Christ rather than a fellow human? Completely, purely following Him, counting everything that’s currently in our lives as worth leaving, for the sole purpose of loving Him and only Him for eternity.

Today I ask you readers if this example reflects your walk with Him. And if it doesn’t, it is time to revisit your relationship with Him. If we courted Him, loved Him, desired Him, and waited for Him as often as He did for us, our lives would not be even remotely the same as they are today. We can never reach that ideal because we can never fully grasp the entirety of God’s love for us, but we can still at least try!

I invite you to open your hearts and bring God in – away from the back burner and into the center. Take Him off of the rebound list and start to seek Him for the sake of Himself – not for an assist through the tough stuff. Strive to love Him and desire Him as He does us.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

The Unexpected (aka Restoration pt 2)

Sep16

So this weekend turned out to be so much more interesting than I had expected it to. I knew going in that I was attending a wedding and was carpooling there with a guy friend of mine. Originally it was supposed to be with he and his girlfriend but they ended up breaking up shortly before so she didn’t even come along.

Best way to describe this weekend: Mind. Blown.

He and I have been friends for a few years now and no- we are not dating. That I know of he’s not even interested. However- for the first time I felt like I recognized things in someone where I was like- “that- that’s what I want.” For the first time I feel like I met someone who would actually do the daily “so who did you invite to church today?” conversation I imagine having with my future husband at the dinner table. For the first time I felt like I met someone who’d jump in and pray over things and people as passionately as I do. For once I felt like I met someone who would be just as willing to open his door to people in need- whether it be a meal or a bed to sleep on.

Does this mean I think he’s the one? No. This means that I feel there’s hope that there really is someone out there for me that’s still single. If this friend of mine exists and is still single- then perhaps there are more like him.

I don’t know if he wants more than friendship. I don’t even know if I want that since I’m pretty sure for things to work out I’d have to have a residency near him given various circumstances that have him where he is (the most important of which is I truly think God has called him to help with the church he’s currently attending). However, it was wonderful just being near a single guy my age where it was SO easy to talk about Jesus, he was attractive from the inside out, has a super fun personality, and a genuine love for God and the things of God.

So from what I wrote does that mean I’d never date him? No. It just means that I have no clue where God wants to take it all but I’m putting it all in His hands.

Jesus,

Thank you for a great weekend filled with You, friends, and laughter. Thank You for reminding me that I have hope of a future. Whether it’s with that guy or someone else- You will reveal in Your timing. Thank You that You are good. I love You Jesus with all my heart.

Rebekah M.