“All of us, gazing with unveiled face upon the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.” ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18
For the past few weeks I’ve been in a state of self-reflection and looking to improve my imperfections; this week I’m in a state of worship. I’m just in awe of how great and merciful and loving our God is. If I’m not humbled of my own accord, I’m humbled by the fact that I deserve nothing that God gives me, and yet He bestows His love upon me anyway. Not only does He bestow His love upon us, but He made us because of that love. He made us to be His bride, so that He could bestow His love upon us and we upon Him. Yes, we have tasks to do while we’re here, but ultimately, we were made to love and be loved by God. This week, I’ve been taking all the imperfections He’s shown me, submitting them to Him, and then just basking in His love as He moves in me. Even submission does not necessarily mean sacrifice. He literally loves you through it. It’s amazing.
I posted here earlier this month about how we see ourselves through a broken mirror – a two-dimensional mirror made up of the world’s standards and judgements. Even though we know we ‘should’ know better, we have been socialized by the world more than we think. So, we look through that broken fake mirror so much that the false image starts to look real. We even form negative opinions about ourselves from it’. We are constantly thinking ‘If I were thinner….’; ‘If my hair weren’t so flat….’; ‘If I had a more confident smile….’; ‘If I could articulate better….’; we think of ourselves as ‘less than’ when we aren’t even looking at an accurate image.
And what do we do when we see these imperfections? We fear them. We fear that others see them too, and that we really are “less than” in the eyes of the world. And in fearing them, we try to improve them. We give of ourselves. Either at the gym, or giving more time to a person who judges us, or giving in to temptation in relationships – whatever it may be, we give and give more of ourselves until there’s not much left. Suddenly we look around and we see dust. As we look closer, we realize the dust is us. We’ve shed so much of ourselves in order to meet these standards, all that’s left is a shell. We’ve given ourselves up for all the wrong reasons. Now we’re lost, disappeared, and – the biggest kicker – still not perfect. We feel alone, like the world has turned its back on us because we weren’t special enough to hold its gaze.
Enter God. Whether your shedding of yourself was complete, or was just in a certain situation, He never turns His back. His gaze stays fixed on you. On you. Why? Because you are His bride – His treasure. He is the lover of your soul and desires your heart for eternity. He loves you so much, He wants to be with you forever. How many humans say that at a wedding, only to later divorce? How many marriages are dissolved when one becomes a widow? But when God says forever, He means it. That’s how much He loves you.
In time, through loving us and us allowing ourselves to be loved by Him in whatever form that takes, He takes the dust, the mess we’ve made of ourselves, and gives it His living water. His breath of life gives us back to ourselves and restores us. And the best part? Not only does He gives us back ourselves, but He gives us a new standard to see ourselves with, a new Mirror in His word and in His love. And the more we look, the more we see that we do improve; we are new people, just by spending time with Him.
He doesn’t just put our pieces back together so the seams and cracks will show – that’s what the world would have us believe, that we are scarred and made weaker by past mistakes. But God, He doesn’t settle for a scarred bride. Instead, He remakes us completely. He removes the mess from us, just as soon as we let Him, and when we look in the mirror, there’s no evidence the cracks were ever there in the first place. His renewal is pure, and sweet, and beautiful.
Thank you Jesus for Your love and renewal. Fill in my cracks God – re-form me without seams. I am not made by man like a piece of art, but I am Yours and Yours alone, to walk in the beauty You give me and to live and breathe by Your love and grace. I am Your bride, chosen by You and made by You for Yourself. Jesus I love You, and find peace in the fact that your love is undying, constant, eternal, and deeper than I can even fathom. Thank You for all that You are.