heavenly father | Being Rebekah

Lately, I have been feeling extremely frustrated. Almost irrationally so. It’s at the point where a few days ago I was convinced I’d be packing my bags, leaving NYC, and moving in with my parents before the spring was up. Sure, there are valid reasons for my frustration. Every employment opportunity that’s come up hasn’t worked out; tasks around the house take 3 times as long as they should, and no matter how hard I work there’s still a lot of TLC that the place needs. It’s been a constant grind for about 6 months, and I still don’t have many friends here to break up the day.

I found myself frustrated and angry with the situation, and also with God. I outright asked Him the other day, “I came here in faith. I thought you wanted me here. I trusted You to take care of me. I thought You wanted to use me here; what’s the point of my being here? Why’d You have me come? Where are You- was I wrong about You??”

God in return gave me the gentlest of reminders of what I have here, and what potential there is here. He reminded me of the constant stream of blessings He’s rained over me since my arrival, and how much stronger my walk with Him has gotten since I’ve moved here. Now I ask myself, how could I have forgotten these things? How could I doubt the one constant I’ve had since I got here?

In truth, I’d forgotten my true purpose. What’s my true purpose? To be God’s. Just to belong to Him. To be His delight. To bask in His presence. Anything He has me do in the meantime is just a bonus. First and foremost, I am here to be His and to worship my Heavenly Father.

I’m not the first one to lost sight of this. Adam and Eve had the same problem when, after eating the forbidden fruit, they realized they were naked and tried to cover up with fig leaves. Suddenly, the relationship with God went from one of simple fellowship and delight to one of fear, shame, and forgetting what we’re here for. Suddenly being ‘good’ meant being clothed, rather than just being God’s. The focus became external.

While it is of course the norm for us to wear clothes, and I don’t recommend that you stop, the same shift still takes place for us today. We focus on how we look to others, how we act, what we can do, how God can use us. These are good things – just like covering one’s exposed private parts with fig leaves would be considered a good thing. But they are external things, secondary to what we’re here first and foremost to do: simply to be God’s. To belong to God, to be the bride of Jesus Christ, to delight in Him and love Him the way He does us. To worship Him. To spend time with Him, just belonging to Him. Such a simple purpose, and yet so often forgotten.

So today, I invite you to take a breath with me. For a few moments, stop searching and striving. Enjoy the Lord, your Father, Husband, and Savior. Let yourself sit and be loved by Him. Just belong to Him. Yes He may tell you to move. Yes there will be busy seasons and slow, but that question of “why am I here?” should never be a concern. You may have various purposes in different seasons as God calls you, but your underlying purpose is just to belong to Him. So ground yourself in that, and find the peace that comes from knowing you have an inherent identity, just by existing as the Lord’s.

God bless!

~Rebekah A

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin…if that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you – you of little faith? So do not worry, saying ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘what shall we drink?’ or ‘what shall we wear?’. For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” ~ Matthew 6:25-33

This verse has been stuck in my head for several days now. I read it, and I instantly want to worship the Lord. How mighty and loving and faithful of a God do we serve, that all we have to do is seek Him, and follow Him, and He provides for us. In a world where nothing is free, and in fact seemingly gets pricier by the day, I almost can’t even wrap my head around it.

Yet, as Christians, God calls us to do just this. Our worries are not supposed to be of material things, because God tells us time and time again that He can control material things. He’s bigger than our daily problems. If we do nothing else in life but seek the Lord, and submit our lives to Him, He can and will provide everything we need to live it. Everything. When the Israelites escaped from Egypt and were stuck starving in the desert with no food, God rained food down from the heavens to provide for them. They were taking a risk, but doing so in faith. They were following their God, and He did not lead them astray. Rather, He worked a daily miracle – literally raining food from the sky – so His people would simply be provided for.

Rebekah had a similar experience. She had no idea what she was getting into. All she knew was that God wanted her to follow an old man for 500 miles. So she did, and was not only provided for, but blessed with a husband and 2 sons. And not only that, but she was brought directly into the lineage of Jesus Christ. How faithful God is to those who are faithful to Him!!

So many of our sacrifices and decisions are accompanied by fear. But God not only tells us our decisions, but gives us every tool we need to live with them and move forward. All we need to do is depend on Him to do it. That can mean stepping out before we know the outcome, but for me, it’s a huge comfort. I know that life has its scary moments, and its everyday worries. I also know my life belongs to my Savior, and He won’t forsake me. That fact alone can turn ‘scary’ into ‘exciting’. I can’t wait to see where God takes me next!

Jesus, help me to remember and trust that You are a God of ‘more than enough’. Help me to stay in the place of dependence that You want me to be in. You are not only my Counselor, guiding and shaping my life and calling me to my actions and standards, but in every step you are also my Provider. All I have to do is act in faith, and you will take care of the rest. You are truly all I need, and I thank you Lord for being so constant and faithful.

~Rebekah A