Tag Archive | Jesus

Perfect Peace

 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” –Isaiah 26:3

Yesterday through Facebook I got a frantic message that a very good friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident. It was a terrifying moment for me. I kept rereading the words and trying to make sense of them. I felt incredibly helpless. This friend lives on the other side of the globe and there was nothing I could do to help him. Or even to get more information.

How did it happen? Was he hurt? Would he be okay? Is he in the hospital?

I had so many questions and so little information. I was scared of losing him. “Please please please let him be okay”, I prayed, feeling the emotion welling up inside me. Irrationally, I considered going to the airport immediately to catch the next plane to get to where he is. There was a time that he and I had planned to get married and I still love him deeply even if the nature of that love has shifted. To consider that he might be seriously injured and I wasn’t with him was more than I knew how to handle. I really did not know what to do with myself. I kept refreshing my Facebook page over and over again, hoping for a new message from his friend. I was desperate for more information. I felt paralyzed. Absolutely helpless. The fear rising up in me was fierce.

Then suddenly it occurred to me that even from half way across the world, there was something I could do for him. I could trust God, and I could pray. My focus then shifted from the situation to God. I remembered that God is the Creator, the Almighty, and our Healer. Everything is in His hands. When I began to meditate on that, I immediately felt peace. I knew God was taking care of the situation. This time when I prayed, I prayed with the assurance that God was in control and no matter what happened He would still be in control. I reminded myself that this man knows the Lord. If the very worst should happen, he is still safe in the Lord’s care. Regardless of how long he has life on this earth, he has the promise of eternal life with the King.

I became completely filled with His peace. It is difficult to even explain it, but every ounce of fear left me. I was able to completely surrender the situation to Him. I continued to pray for my friend for mercy and healing, but it was no longer a prayer out of selfish desperation. It was a prayer based on who the Lord is and knowing what He is capable of doing. Mostly, I just prayed that the Lord’s will be done. I knew without a doubt that it would be.

A few hours later I got the message that my friend will be fine. He is scraped up, bruised up, and has a broken wrist, but he has no internal injuries. He will make a full recovery. The worst of my fears were not even remotely realized. If I had not surrendered to God, I would have spent all the time making myself sick with worry. All of my worry would not have accomplished anything.

I praise God that he is okay! Thank you Jesus for protecting my friend! I know it could have been much worse and the mercy of the Lord has kept him for another day. Thank you, Jesus for your peace in the midst of a storm. Thank you for calming the waves of fear and teaching me once again to trust in you!

Dear Reader, when you feel helpless, when a situation is beyond your control; it is never beyond God. He will give you perfect peace if you trust Him to handle every situation that comes up in life. In scary moments when loved ones may be hurt or in danger, give all of your fears and concerns the Lord. He will carry you through every difficult circumstance in your life if you let Him.

-Rebekah L.

Leaven of the Sadducees

Matthew 16:6: “Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.”

Jesus’ disciples thought He was talking about actual leaven but Jesus rebukes them and they realized he was talking about the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees. I think as a Christian, there is a temptation to look like we’re living for Christ but not really.  Even now, I sometimes feel like I’m starting to revert back to my old way of just sounding like one who loves Christ, and looking like one, but I need to bring back that unquenchable passion for Him.  I don’t want to live a mediocre life where He isn’t my everything.  I get distracted by the guys, by med school, things I need to learn, movies, even sudoku.  Have I been keeping up with my BREAD (Bible Reading Enriches Any Day)… yes…  but do I do it with a hunger to know Him better? Have I said prayers? Somewhat but not with the time or intensity of when I was in my ordeal.  Do I look for Him in everything I do? Honestly I don’t feel like it is almost EVERYTHING as it was when without Him in almost every breath I took, I felt I couldn’t survive.  That intense pain birthed a hunger and thirst for Him like I never had before.  I hope I can refind that intense, deep, passionate need for Him again because I never want to go through such intense pain and sorrow just to ground myself better in Him again.

Jesus, 

Help me refind that intense passion for You.  Help me rededicate myself to You.  I feel like it’s just been circles lately.  I’ll regain a little ground and then lose it.  Help me to rid myself of this leaven once and for all for just a little goes through the whole lump! I need You Jesus more than anything else in this world.  If this means forgetting the guys, then so be it. I need and want You more than them.  I’ll focus on You and see how You handle them being in my life… should they decide to stop talking to me, so be it.  Should they decide to continue on this path and even deepen things by praying more with me, so be it.  I put it all in Your hands. I love You Jesus with everything in me and all my heart. 

Rebekah M. 

Waiting on the Lord

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:31 

Having been on such a wonderful, happy high from Jesus just pouring things into my life… today it just suddenly felt like everything was fake and a facade.  I barely slept last night, this weekend I didn’t really pray like I have been the past two months, and I realized that these guys most likely aren’t going to work out.  Premature judgement? Yes.  But sometimes, once you’re in a thinking pit, it’s hard to get out. I want to believe that He holds all wonderful things in our future- waiting for us to be ready to receive them.  I want to believe that in the end, there is an Isaac who will finally see ME and love me for who I am.  However, I just can’t shake the feeling that no one’s ever going to see this heart of mine for what it really is- someone who lives for Jesus with all that she can.

He quietly whispers to me “lay this at My feet my child, bring this to me.” 

Jesus, 

I lay my heart as an open book before these readers right now.  I pray that somehow, someone who is also struggling to just get through this day or tomorrow also decides to just lay it all at Your feet.  As the song says, I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.  Whether a man ever sees my true worth or not, I know that YOU do.  I have felt You tell me how pleased You are that in my times of pain and sorrow, I chose to worship You.  Lord, in this time of feeling strangely, I choose to worship You.  I love You Lord. Despite all the mess of my past, despite everything You love me.  I thank You and I lay my life at Your feet once more.  I lay all that I am and will become in Your capable hands and just ask that You hold me up when I cannot stand any longer.  Lord, I will wait on You.  I will wait on Your promises.  I will wait on Your faithfulness.  I will worship You as I wait. 

I will wait. 

~Rebekah M. 

Thank you Catherine for telling me about this song! 🙂

Seek Him First

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. ~Matthew 6:33 

This journey of mine has been incredible. Where I once felt like my life had fallen apart, I now know that my life is just beginning.  Where once I had felt like I lost my future of the handsome, sweet husband, beautiful twin boys, and sweet little princess all living for Jesus, I know that regardless of the dreams a boy says to you, it doesn’t always mean he will follow through with them but God’s dreams for you will always stand.  For almost two months now, I didn’t care whether I lived or died since my dreams were shattered.  I wouldn’t do anything to speed the process along, but I didn’t care should the Lord decide to take me.  After my car accident a little over a week ago, I wondered why He didn’t just take me because I was in the middle of praying- I knew where I would have gone.  (Please know though that after God freed my heart last Sunday, I’m now ready to LIVE for HIM.)

This journey first started end of November when my boyfriend of the time asked for a break. The next day I spent it sobbing in bed, unable to do anything but pray desperately to God and try to hold on to anything else within me.  For those who haven’t read my other post, just a few weeks prior he had told me he was getting me THE ring, it was all picked out but he was just saving up to get it and then after a few rough weeks he’s looking at me in the middle of a restaurant saying that he hadn’t even wanted to talk to me on the phone two nights before and felt he needed a break.  After a day of sobbing and praying in my bed God told me I had two choices:

1) fear, worry, and doubt Him in this time or

2) worship Him knowing that He had all things in His hands

I chose worship.  

Last weekend, between the conference and the sunday services at my church, I felt something break. For two months now I have been fasting, praying at least 3 times a day, and especially in this last month pursuing Him with all that I have. Friday night post-service at the conference, I had a single guy on each side of me at the restaurant paying me attention.  Never in my life have I felt like a belle of a ball like I did then- and I was openly talking about God and how good He is! The next day, the very guy that I had said to Jesus “Lord, he’s cute.  Wouldn’t it be nice if he’d say hello to me?”  stopped me to say hello as I was passing by!  In the middle of this week, another guy has randomly entered my life via mutual friends and the first “get to know me” thing he asked was what sort of adventures have I been on before.  I quickly mentioned two then noted that more than any other adventure was doing things for God like saying something to a person that God heavily laid on my heart and finding out it’s what they’ve been praying about all week. After a lag in reply I said “Lord, if he doesn’t reply so be it- I’m not going to hide my love for You,” the next day he replied with stories of his own!!

Rarely in my life have I felt pursued.  Even when my ex and I were dating I still only briefly (for about a month or two) felt like he was pursuing me… much of the time I was worried he was ashamed of me since he never really wanted to introduce me to people and once he started to, he was telling me I had to get to the gym etc. These guys however… it amazes me that I’m not even worried about them half as much as I would have before, I’m surprised there’s more than one, and I unashamedly speak of my passion for Jesus and it seems to make them even more interested!

Dear Reader, 

Please take in the underlying concepts I’m trying to get across today: worship Him in the storm and live unashamedly for Him.  I went from shattered dreams to having a full life before me.  I don’t look like a super model; I’m not super amazingly special; yet, it seems guys are crawling out of the woodwork and I cannot even believe it myself!  Lord, You amaze me.  In shining for You brighter than ever, it draws guys  my way and it amazes me!  I pray You help me continue to seek You first for You’ve told me that the guys will all sort themselves out in the end.  Help me to unashamedly be a light for You and point the way to Your goodness, mercy, and grace.  I love You Jesus with all my heart. 

~Rebekah M. 

Freed Hearts (aka A Heart To Forgive pt 2)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; ~Matthew 5:44

Disclaimer: Rebekah A had no clue that some of these events occurred when she wrote her post last night. It amazes me that God has given me the perfect opportunity to follow up on the thought she started yesterday!

This past weekend at the church conference I spoke of in my last two posts, God gave me THE most freeing event that I have ever had in my life.  Someone who wronged someone who was dear to me- I gave them a hug, told them I loved them, and thanked them for things they had done for me in my past.  Another had wronged both me and my family so completely and deeply I cannot begin to list it all- both because it is a vast list and especially since it is now all behind me (for I am looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, and if He could endure the cross, I can forget things that have hurt me and those I love (Hebrews 12:2) )- this person, I prayed God’s blessing over her and her family, I prayed God free her from fear and doubt, I prayed God bless her and keep her.

I think the biggest thing this past weekend though was that God freed me completely from my ex.  All weekend I felt like I had to pray a blessing over him despite EVERYTHING.  God told me that I had to forgive him and bless him and then leave him where he belongs- my past.  After the conference, on the surface I felt one way- victorious, loved by God, excited that my future was unfolding- but deeper down I felt I was spinning out of control like my car had done just a few days before.  I had survived seeing my ex from afar but it still brought to surface things that I tried to bury.  God wanted that OUT of my life though because as I mentioned in a previous post, a promise cannot live with an error and God wants me to be free to accept into my life the Isaac He has for me. And so, during a perfectly timed, God-written sermon, Jesus cleaned me out.  He told me at the alter that I had to go and text my ex that very moment:

I forgive you.  I pray you have a blessed rest of your life. 

So simple and yet so completely and utterly freeing.  I am SURE there is NO WAY that he isn’t ashamed of what he did.  There is no way that he can think of me and not feel shame- for he never acted in a Godly manner once things started falling apart.  However, because I prayed for him, fasted for him, and even sent that text- I can look back on this situation in my life and feel joy and peace.  I have won by being saved from tying myself to someone who would have only brought me down while he threw away the very thing that was praying and fasting blessings into his life.  I. Am. Free.

Dear Reader, 

I implore you to pray a blessing into the life of those who have hurt you and then leave it all where it belongs- in your past.  The sermon was about how through Jesus we have power (Acts 1:8). The preacher spoke of how this power gives us power to change how our past affects our current situations, power to fix our present, and even power to establish our future.  If you don’t have that power- I beg you to seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Know that salvation is based on the words of Peter who told of the salvation plan in Acts 2:38, whom Jesus earlier stated he would build his church upon (Matthew 16:18). Know that before we ever knew Him, He loved us so much that He died to pay for all the bad things we’ve done in our past (Romans 5:8). May God bless you all with freed hearts.

Rebekah M. 

The Hem of His Garment

 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; ~II Corinthians 4:7-9

Although my blog posts have many times been upbeat, it’s only because I have tried to give everything in God. All the pressures in my life have slowly been creating more and more of a storm until two nights ago when I spun out of control on a mountain road and hit the guard rail apparently twice.  I had a church conference to go to last night and I just knew that if I could just get to Jesus, my storm would calm.

This whole way, God has been providing little things to show me He’s with me. From random strangers telling me they felt God on me and would pray for me, to getting the car rental in time to even get to my hotel and pray for half an hour before service- after resting a bit at the hotel!!!

This God we serve is amazing and wonderful and I know, I know, I KNOW that last night- I touched the hem of His garment, He walked with me in the midst of the storm back into the boat and spoke peace into my life.

The enemy may have tried to take my life, but that just means all the more that I live for Jesus and Jesus alone!  May I be a light for Him in this dark world.  May I be a witness of all His wonders! Devil- you may have tried to destroy me because I said I was going lion hunting, but you couldn’t!!! God wouldn’t let you take my life because I have more work to do here so come what may, I know my God will provide!!! Better yet, I was able to tell the car rental guy about the awesome church I go to- so it was worth it to have this all happen if he and his girlfriend find our Savior!

Dear reader, 

Taste and see that the Lord is good and His mercy is everlasting! You may be perplexed, but don’t despair, God has a reason for everything when You are living for Him with all you’ve got (Romans 8:28)! You may be troubled on every side, but not distressed when You trust Him to work it all out!  You may have been persecuted, but you are not abandoned! Know that ALL things are in His hands.  That night (after being a bit human and saying that I was just so frustrated with everything and finishing up a pity party) I thanked God that He counted me strong enough to handle this.  Know this- that He will NEVER FORSAKE YOU NOR LEAVE YOU.  So go out there and be a light for Him! 

~Rebekah M. 

What Little We Have

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work: (As it is written, He hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth for ever. Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness;) Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God ~II Corinthians 9:7-12

Lately God has been calling me on His path of faith.  In one of my other posts I alluded to being a blessing for my pastor and his wife through doing something I felt God tell me to do.  This past weekend the pastor’s wife testified about what they have been going through lately and it opened my eyes to how amazing God is.

All my life I have heard stories of how people were at the end of their rope, not sure where their next meal would be, not sure how they would pay their bills, and they would pray and God would open the door at the last minute.  About two weeks ago I felt God tell me that I had to financially bless my pastor and his family. Now, I’m a student.  I’m living off of student loans and every dollar I spend = debt of an ever increasing gaping hole.  I understand that my future profession will hopefully help me pay it off, but I also know that every penny saved now is MANY pennies saved later in the world of compound interest.  However, when I felt God tell me to give them money I just said “okay, how much and when?”  because I truly believe that all the money I have now is from Him and so all my money in the future (or lack thereof) will be from Him too.  Since I know with all my heart that He never forsakes the righteous and their seed doesn’t beg for bread, I know that my God who owns the cattle of a thousand hills will provide when I need it.  One night before prayer I felt God say that I had to give them a check THAT NIGHT and so I went to prayer with it in an envelope.  Unbeknownst to me, God told them that they needed to give a check to a young couple who just had a baby and, although they weren’t 100% sure how they were going to do it, they decided on a certain amount that they felt God telling them to give while at prayer.  Low and behold, because I listened to the leading of Him, I gave her an envelope that very night and even though she thought it would be how much they were giving, it was actually that amount and more.  After months of struggling financially and wondering if they made the right decision to go into the ministry full time, they felt this was God’s way of telling them that He would take care of them and to keep focusing on feeding His sheep.

This is the God we serve!  NEVER in my life did I think that I would ever be the “check in the mail” part of one of these stories.  I was crying in my car on the way to prayer this week, thanking God for allowing me the privilege of being part of this testimony but… it doesn’t end there!  I have been pretty sick lately, for over two weeks now I’ve been coughing most nights and barely sleeping.  Finally I got prescriptions from a doctor and went to fill them last night and paid a large sum for them.  It cost almost as much as a month’s worth of groceries for me!  Deciding that I needed the medication, I paid the hefty price and went on my way.  The next morning, I get a call from one of my doctor’s offices and they told me that a procedure I paid for before out of pocket had been back-paid by my insurance company and the amount was DOUBLE what I paid for my prescriptions! 🙂

Now I’m not saying that if you give money away, God will automatically bless you with money.  I’m not even saying that the best thing to give away IS money.  Personally I think things that we can give to God include (along with money) our time, effort, passion, and talents. Many may tithe money, but how about our time? How about your talents? Do you play for a band with friends but not for your church?  Do you clean your house but never help clean the house of God?

Dear Reader, 

Give what little you have to Him and find that He will multiply it and give it back to you in His timing.  I didn’t need a financial blessing, I had made space in my budget to accommodate what I gave and yet God just wanted to bless me with it because He is good and His mercy endures forever 🙂  Give Him what you have and discover all the amazing, wonderful ways that He gives back to you!!! 

~Rebekah M.