Tag Archive | Prayer

What Little We Have

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work: (As it is written, He hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth for ever. Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness;) Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God ~II Corinthians 9:7-12

Lately God has been calling me on His path of faith.  In one of my other posts I alluded to being a blessing for my pastor and his wife through doing something I felt God tell me to do.  This past weekend the pastor’s wife testified about what they have been going through lately and it opened my eyes to how amazing God is.

All my life I have heard stories of how people were at the end of their rope, not sure where their next meal would be, not sure how they would pay their bills, and they would pray and God would open the door at the last minute.  About two weeks ago I felt God tell me that I had to financially bless my pastor and his family. Now, I’m a student.  I’m living off of student loans and every dollar I spend = debt of an ever increasing gaping hole.  I understand that my future profession will hopefully help me pay it off, but I also know that every penny saved now is MANY pennies saved later in the world of compound interest.  However, when I felt God tell me to give them money I just said “okay, how much and when?”  because I truly believe that all the money I have now is from Him and so all my money in the future (or lack thereof) will be from Him too.  Since I know with all my heart that He never forsakes the righteous and their seed doesn’t beg for bread, I know that my God who owns the cattle of a thousand hills will provide when I need it.  One night before prayer I felt God say that I had to give them a check THAT NIGHT and so I went to prayer with it in an envelope.  Unbeknownst to me, God told them that they needed to give a check to a young couple who just had a baby and, although they weren’t 100% sure how they were going to do it, they decided on a certain amount that they felt God telling them to give while at prayer.  Low and behold, because I listened to the leading of Him, I gave her an envelope that very night and even though she thought it would be how much they were giving, it was actually that amount and more.  After months of struggling financially and wondering if they made the right decision to go into the ministry full time, they felt this was God’s way of telling them that He would take care of them and to keep focusing on feeding His sheep.

This is the God we serve!  NEVER in my life did I think that I would ever be the “check in the mail” part of one of these stories.  I was crying in my car on the way to prayer this week, thanking God for allowing me the privilege of being part of this testimony but… it doesn’t end there!  I have been pretty sick lately, for over two weeks now I’ve been coughing most nights and barely sleeping.  Finally I got prescriptions from a doctor and went to fill them last night and paid a large sum for them.  It cost almost as much as a month’s worth of groceries for me!  Deciding that I needed the medication, I paid the hefty price and went on my way.  The next morning, I get a call from one of my doctor’s offices and they told me that a procedure I paid for before out of pocket had been back-paid by my insurance company and the amount was DOUBLE what I paid for my prescriptions! 🙂

Now I’m not saying that if you give money away, God will automatically bless you with money.  I’m not even saying that the best thing to give away IS money.  Personally I think things that we can give to God include (along with money) our time, effort, passion, and talents. Many may tithe money, but how about our time? How about your talents? Do you play for a band with friends but not for your church?  Do you clean your house but never help clean the house of God?

Dear Reader, 

Give what little you have to Him and find that He will multiply it and give it back to you in His timing.  I didn’t need a financial blessing, I had made space in my budget to accommodate what I gave and yet God just wanted to bless me with it because He is good and His mercy endures forever 🙂  Give Him what you have and discover all the amazing, wonderful ways that He gives back to you!!! 

~Rebekah M. 

Dancing In The Closet

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6 

These past few months God has been working in my heart on a new level.  I know I keep mentioning it, but that emotionally taxing time was truly a turning point for me in my spiritual life. In my pain, I buried myself in Him and turned into the kind of Christian I have always wanted to be. The kind that I loved hanging around but was never willing to sacrifice myself to actually be.  One who listens to sermons in her free time, one who prays EVERY day- typically multiple times a day, one who reads her Bible EVERY day, one who seeks for Him in everything- even to tell her what color to wear that day for who knows how He could use it, but He could!

Much of my life I’ve been on the platform at the churches I’ve attended as a singer. I worship Him openly in church and it has encouraged people to do the same when they would see my sincerity towards Him.  It was always my prayer that I would disappear while I was up there and He would shine through.  Nice as that was, it was only in the most personally painful storm of my life that I finally learned to worship Him in private.  One day I found myself driving home after church and He had moved mightily in service and I even received a personal message from Him. During that drive I felt Him say to me:

Although it has always pleased me that you would openly praise and worship me in church, knowing that it  allows others to feel free to open up to me too, you are already blessed then.  However, when you praise and worship me in your home where no one else can see, for me- your audience of one- then am I truly pleased and will reward you. 

I know with all my heart that I had received the word from Him that night specifically because before service I was dancing and jumping and shouting in praise and worship to Him. He rewards openly when you pray, praise, and worship in your closet.

This morning I woke up and spent some time in my prayer closet. God has provided me with a literal closet that I am able to sit in and pray.  Thus, early this morning I sat in the closet and for almost half an hour I just imagined about how something that had become messed up in my life could potentially be turned around.  As my closest (and even some acquaintances) know, I have quite the imagination. I have a hard time keeping it in check and can have elaborate daydreams of how things will work out in this or that.  Finally, I stopped and just talked to God.  He moved in to my closet so strongly I felt almost like He was holding me in a hug.  It was amazing and I felt Him tell me to get up and dance before Him- to give Him my heart, mind, strength. Later on, my boss complimented me again today for something I did and has given me even more freedom of my time.  I know that this favor is not of me.  Yes, things look like they are my actions, but truly they are His working through my body.  Thank You Lord for Your favor in my life.  Thank You Lord for helping me heal, change, and be molded into the woman of God that You want me to be.  

Dear Reader, 

Learn to dance in your prayer closets.  Learn to do things for the audience of One. When you do, you’ll find that He will bless you beyond what you ever imagined.  This does not mean that life will be perfect and you’ll never have any problems, but it does mean that you’ll have peace beyond your circumstances, grace in the storm, joy unspeakable, and You. Will. Have. Victory. I encourage you now to live in the victorious life that God has before you through learning how to make, maintain, and even dance in a prayer closet for Him. 

~Rebekah M. 

The Power of Sisterhood

 And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way.    ~Genesis 24:61

When I think of these other two Rebekahs in my life, I am so thankful to God that they are not only two of my closest friends, regardless of the miles between us, but also so in tune with Him.  Both of them have blogged on subjects that were perfect and timely for me.

Our Sisters (or Brothers) Support Our Leaving The Things of This World

When Rebekah A posted on Leaving Babylon, unbeknownst to her, I too was called by God that very same night to leave my own. For years I have struggled with fighting my flesh on a certain thing.  I joke with my friends on how my flesh is the “Phoenix” and the side most people see is “Jean Grey” and how “I’d have to be dead and buried under a lake of water before you’ll ever meet the Phoenix but God help the world if she is ever unleashed.” (This is a reference to the X-Men… yes, I have a geeky side) We all have things that we battle with but God has given us people in our lives to go with us on our journeys of faith to encourage and strengthen us. I had compromised a personal standard of mine months ago, thinking that I was being too strict, that rarely has anyone else in this world been called to do that same thing, and that it was just a personal preference of mine, not something from God. However, because of that compromise I almost lost myself.  I almost lost my identity in Christ.  We all want to fit in more, we all want to please others at times, but I know now that I can never again compromise when God has called me to something.  I need to recognize when it’s Him and not me.  That very next morning after Rebekah A’s post, we prayed together over the phone and asked God to help us to never look back at our Babylons and to give us strength to fully leave it all in His hands from that day forward. I know that although the Babylon was not my compromise, it was my Babylon that set the stage for my compromise to turn out so badly. Most people can do what I did and be fine, but God sometimes calls us to a higher standard on specific things in our lives because of our weaknesses. Don’t ever feel like you should compromise if God is calling you to a higher standard than others for you will never go wrong in doing so. God will give you a support system that encourages you to stick to them if they are of Him. Be sensitive to His voice, for I had to learn the hard way what happens if you don’t. 

God Gives Us Sisters to Help Us See Ourselves in His Mirror

Rebekah L’s post on comparing ourselves was amazingly timely as well because I had recently been called to pray for God to do surgery on my heart too! She didn’t even know it for Rebekah A and I had been the ones to pray over this for me.  All my life I had been secretly petrified that any man, should he finally see the real me, would be disgusted. I see myself as ugly, fat, and undesirable when I look through the lens of this world and yet I know that my friends would cry out that I’m crazy for even saying that.  My body size is that of average and I actually have some cute features- some that I’ve had guys stare at me over. More than my outward features though are the fruits of the spirit that I’ve been trying to allow God to cultivate within me for as long as I can remember.  The recent emotionally trying time of my life brought new fruit into my soul. I never knew that I could truly choose to worship Him with all my heart in the midst of my world falling apart.  I never knew that within me was a warrior who would pray for those who had persecuted me and despitefully used me. God purposefully allowed me to go through the fire for He knew that when I emerged, I would be more pure and more ready for my future coming Isaacs. I don’t know what all my promises are composed of, but I do know that God is calling me. Although God is still working His surgery on my heart and soul, I can now look that feeling of worthlessness in the eye and say to it that I know it exists and I know that God is taking it out little by little.  I am a treasure. I am HIS treasure and no one can tell me otherwise.  I am beautiful for He calls me so every morning I wake up.  Every breath I breathe is a gift of love for me from God Himself.

Dear Reader:

Know that you are wonderfully made in Him.  You are handcrafted and He has promised that:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. ~Jeremiah 29:11 KJV or… 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11 NIV 

If your world has also recently fallen apart, know that if you truly are seeking Him on all things, that they are for your good. Know that when you submit everything to Him, that He gives you all that you need and more. That you have a hope and a future.  I pray that if you don’t already have a support system, that you find one for He provides them to you! You are loved, by God Himself!!! He will help you find those who can encourage you on this journey of faith if you’ll just allow Him to.  Open your eyes and see that the Lord is good and His mercies are new ever morning 🙂

~Rebekah M.  

All About the Timing

In Genesis 24:15 says: 

 Before he had done speaking, behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethu’el the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, came out with her water jar upon her shoulder.

Note that it says before he even finished speaking Rebekah came out with the water jar. Lately, I’ve taken to submitting my whole day to God.  This means that from what I wear to what words I allow to come out of my mouth- I want God to decide what happens. As I listening to preaching last week, the preachers noted how they had that same daily prayer for years and the moment they started that was the moment they were freed.  Everything now is on Him. Someone wants to make fun of what I wear? Jesus said to so I don’t care.  Someone thinks I should have been here instead of there? Jesus ordered my steps so I’m sorry but you’re wrong.  All my actions and the timing of my actions are in God’s hands when I fully submit it all to Him.   

Last week, I struggled with that emotionally toiling event that I have alluded to before.  My mind refused to let it go and it tormented me when I allow it to.  God has been the only thing to help me survive since things happened weeks ago. Whenever I fully focused on Him the hurt went away, the pain went away, the sense of loss decreased and I saw how much He wanted to give me a bright future and hope.

Timing is everything.

Saturday afternoon during an extended prayer meeting I poured out my heart to God. I felt Him calling me to apologize to a person connected to my emotionally toiling event but I wasn’t sure how this would happen since we hadn’t been in contact in weeks. I asked God that if He wanted me to, He would confirm it.  The next morning during the preaching, the pastor spoke of how Abraham had to kick Ishmael out for a promise (Isaac) cannot live with an error (Ishmael). I felt SO STRONGLY that I had to contact that person and apologize in order to kick Ishmael out of my life. God didn’t want me to say anything mean or evil, but to just apologize for a specific action and then say something specific for them. The pastor later told me that he had been working on that message for months, but that day God told him that he had to preach the message. I knew it was God since he used that exact bible example (I haven’t said a word about my journey of being rebekah to him) and that it was less than 12hrs after I prayed that prayer!

‘Bout My Father’s Business… When and How He says

Earlier, God had told me I could not call the person and I felt that same restriction hold. Feeling a bit like Queen Esther in which she didn’t know if she’d die by going before the king whom she hadn’t spoken to in a month, I texted them asking them to please call me but, even responding via text, they refused to call. I kept begging, Please call me, God said I must say something to you. Please, I must be about my Father’s business, I must do what God is telling me to do but He has told me specifically that I cannot call you.  Please, God wants me to tell you something but it must be over the phone.  Six hours after my first text, (the last hour being an hour of repeated begging with no response) I felt God release me from the task and I was free to attend Sunday night service with no remorse. Ishmael was kicked out of my life, but the person never received the blessing intended for them.

Some Promises Have an Expiration Date

People think that “If God wants this, it will eventually happen” and yes, to some degree I do believe that many things will come to pass should God want it…. but that is contingent on our acting in faith at the right time.  All that person had to do was call me and they would have received a blessing. Instead, I know that forever they will have it etched in their mind that they rejected even just hearing a potential message from God. Image if Rebekah chose to not even hear what Eleazar had to say. Image if she had refused to go? I pray that I never am in the place where I refuse to potentially hear a word from God and that I submit every step to Him so that I don’t miss out on opportunities.

His Promises Are New Every Morning

I woke up the next morning smiling, knowing that God freed me. He freed me from my Ishmael. He freed me from my past to enjoy the coming of Isaac. I know with all my heart that my future promise is tied to both opportunities to share Him with many people in this world as well as an actual Isaac (although that might not be his name) who will adore me and we will serve God together with our whole hearts.  My heart breaks a little for the Ishmael who rejected hearing God’s Word, but I cannot put my hand to the plow and look back.  In His timing, all things will come to pass when I am seeking Him and His Will with all my heart.  As my pastor says “Doing God’s Will isn’t as hard as we think. We just have to do what things God has already told us to do and everything will fall into place.”  To that I say amen and amen(!) and continue on with my daily tasks.

Lord, help me to continue to be faithful to my daily tasks. I pray that You reveal Your ever unfolding plan when the time is right.  I thank You for my future coming Isaacs. I thank You that You will use me as You see fit to encourage others, uplift those in Your family, reach a hand out to those who don’t know You yet, and to be Your mouth, hands, and feet.  I thank You that when the time is right, You will bring a man into my life who will be willing to lay down his life for You; a man who will adore me as Isaac adored Rebekah; who will see You in me and love me for it. Please never let me get to the point where I would prevent someone from doing what they strongly felt was Your Will. Please have mercy on the Ishmaels in this world who are running from You.  I pray anyone reading this blog who doesn’t know You will feel Your love sweeping over them now. I pray those who do, find a new conviction to be ready and willing to be in Your timing so that they don’t miss their “Isaac.”  I pray that we willingly go about Your business even if we feel like Queen Esther going before the king, for the results will always be for our good in the end. 

~Rebekah M

Dear Reader, please seek to be in His timing now.  You are not reading this by accident for I and my prayer partner pray for this blog daily. God has an abundant life waiting for you if you’ll just accept.  If you’re living the abundant life, be encouraged for His timing is always amazingly perfect for us. 🙂 

Not My Mouth but Thy Mouth

Rebekah unquestioningly did what she felt God was telling her to do went she went with Eleazar… for me it’s not always so easy to do what God is saying, but the end results are always amazing when I finally act. 

Last Sunday I was sitting in Panera reading when God quietly said to me:

“What do you want?”

I had been listening to preaching earlier that week about Esther and how we can come to a place where God, like Esther’s husband the king, can ask us what we want and like Esther, if we sincerely show that all we want is His presence, we can ask for anything and it will be granted.  Please don’t get me wrong- this does NOT mean that seeking His presence is a formula for magically getting whatever you want! However, when you sincerely and truly seek Him with all your heart, His wants become your wants, His desires become your desires and what you ask you will receive because you will only ask what is kingdom-minded.  So in reply to His question I thought to Him “Really God? Here? In the middle of Panera Bread where I cannot get down on my knees and pray You ask me what I want?” and again I felt Him say:

“What do you want?” 

And so I replied in my mind “If I have pleased You, if I have found favor in your sight, I pray that You grant me Your presence. That You move strongly in service tonight. That the hesitation I feel in the spirit every service would be broken tonight.”

I felt that He was pleased with my answer and believed that He would grant me my request.  That night in service God not only moved, but the most surprising thing to me was that He used me to help bring about the exact thing I had asked for.  During the middle of service God was moving strongly and people were praying in their seats and I felt Him tell me to go pray with someone on the other side of the room in the front row.  “Really God? I’d stand out so much though! That’s so conspicuous! She’s in the front row!” and yet again, He told me to go pray with her. Finally, stumbling and with the Holy Ghost overflowing out of me I went to pray with her.  Soon she was weeping as God spoke to her through my mouth.  I don’t even fully remember what I said, but I know that it was what she needed to hear.  I then went back to my seat and He led me to pray for another… and then another… and then another.  Finally as the service was coming to a close, the pastor asked for us to all come to the front and pray for he and his wife.  He said they had been going through a lot lately and God was helping them and bringing people along to encourage them, but he felt the need to ask for prayer.  As we all gathered around I felt God telling me to say something to them, but again, I freaked out and tried to hold it in.  “But EVERYONE is here Lord, the whole church is RIGHT HERE! I don’t want to make a scene. This doesn’t feel right.”  The feeling kept coming though, to the point where I was physically putting my hands over my mouth until I could not handle it anymore and started just praying out loud to God.  The amazing thing was, in the end, even my hesitation God used! I ended up saying the same line over and over again at first and the pastor later told the whole group that it was perfectly in line with what he would have preached if we had had preaching that night.  There was more that God had me pray out loud towards the group, but needless to say, I was floored that God even used my human emotion of fear of standing out to create the perfect unity of spirit of what I said to what had been intended to preach.

I truly believe a big part of why God was willing to use me in such a public manner was because that very morning when I had woken up, I danced around my house before the Lord in worship.  I told Him that I was worshipping Him in the privacy of my house just to worship Him. Because He is good and His mercy endures forever.  Because I loved Him.  Because He is above all things and in all things. When we show Him that we can worship and dance before Him as our audience of one, He can trust using us in an audience of many.  

Lord, help me to stop hesitating about being in the spotlight.  I so desperately don’t want to be a spotlight seeker that I end up hesitating when You tell me to move.  Next time Lord, if You tell me to move, I pray that I do it without hesitation.  I pray that I learn to have that fearless spirit of Rebekah.  It amazes me that when it comes to things that I can see or touch I run at it full force, but with these spiritual things where the evidence is through a unity of messages I fear looking ridiculous, conspicuous, or a spotlight seeker.  Help me to be so humble that I don’t even care about that! I realize now that even the fear of being a spotlight seeker is a form of pride.  Dig this out and use me as You will Lord, even if it’s in front of everyone… or if it’s in front of only You.  Use me however You will, whenever You will.  

~Rebekah M

Dear reader- if you don’t know Him or His love, I invite you to seek Him out now.  He is faithful and will lead you to Himself.  A wonderful place to start is to read John chapter 3 and then Acts chapter 2.  The book of John tells of who Jesus is and the book of Acts shows us how His apostles put into motion the things He had taught them. May you find a new birth in Him and when you are ready, may God use you to bless others.  For those who do know Him but aren’t being used by Him yet, read I Corinthians chapters 12 and 13.  Seek after the gifts of the Spirit. There is nothing more amazing than feeling God tell you a word for someone and when you tell them, they begin to cry and worship God. May healings, miracles, prophecies, tongues and interpretation of tongues and more be unto those who seek to be used by Him with a true heart.