“I believe; help my unbelief!” –Mark 9:24b
Happy New Year Everyone!!
I have some exciting news from my personal life to share with you. The company I work for runs a charity that works with impoverished people all over the world. Its primary function is a micro-lending institution that gives small dollar amount loans to help people make a business for themselves and to empower them to lift themselves out of poverty. Other functions include sending volunteers to work on farms, teach literacy skills, train them in job skills etc.
Several months ago I was nominated to apply to go on one of their volunteer opportunities because of the work I have done teaching English to some of our English Language Learners here at the location where I work. The trip I was nominated to apply for is a program in India.
We had three months to complete the application process. For the first two+ months of this time, I did absolutely nothing. I didn’t work on my application at all, partly because I didn’t think I’d be accepted, partly because of fear and partly because I don’t feel a particular call and burden to India. Please don’t misunderstand me, I think India is a fascinating place and I love the Indian people. One of the very first people who ever witnessed to me about Christ was a former Hindu from India and I am forever grateful to him for it. I am thankful for the many people that God has called to India. It’s just that I have a very strong burden for the Chinese. It has been prophesied to me multiple times that I would work with Chinese and that at some point I would go overseas to minister to them in some capacity. I have struggled to believe and accept this. I am a very introverted person and the idea of going overseas and speaking on His behalf (especially in a foreign language and culture) is extremely intimidating to me.
Anyway, I didn’t do much with my application because I kept thinking, “Why India?” India after all didn’t fit in with the prophesy so it didn’t seem like something I needed to pursue. However, God later got a hold of me and I felt like He told me that I was ignoring an opportunity that He was putting in front of me. So I applied.
Fast forward a few months later. Yesterday I got a phone call from the director of the program. He asked me if I had had my heart set on India and whether I would be really upset if I didn’t get to go there. I was a little thrown off by his question because normally if you’re rejecting someone you just say “We’ve decided to go with another candidate” or something like that. So I said I might be a little disappointed, but I wouldn’t be upset because I prayed that if it was God’s will for me to be in the program that He would open the door and that if it wasn’t His will that He wouldn’t. The guy paused a second (and I started inwardly freaking out a little that I had just violated the unwritten rule of never bringing up God in a work situation), but then he said, “So if God opened a different door, you would go, right?” He went on to tell me that they hadn’t chosen me for the India program because they had another opportunity he wanted to discuss with me. He explained that they are putting together a pilot program to visit three of their projects in countries where they’ve never sent volunteers before. He said the three projects are in the Philippines, China, and Taiwan and then he said, “We really hope you will go”. So crazy! I definitely didn’t expect this. I almost didn’t apply because the location didn’t make sense to me, but God had a plan all along. Two out of three of these locations are Chinese speaking countries. Actually, even the third recognizes Chinese as a minority language.
Granted, this is a program through work and not an actual missions opportunity, but I know that God has put this together. No one at work knows about the prophesies I’ve received or about my burden for the Chinese. The first time I was told I would go overseas was before I even knew Jesus when I was only about ten years old. Then shortly after I was saved in 2004 a prophesy came that I would be a missionary to Asia. That was nine years ago. Since that time a few other prophesies have come my way which made it clear that the focus would be on Chinese people. Even though this will only be a short trip, I see this as the beginning of the prophesies being fulfilled in my life. It’s humbling to watch God put things together.
I feel ashamed of my doubt. I have doubted for so long. I have struggled to believe the words that were spoken over me even though they matched the burden within me. I have felt too inadequate; I have told God to send someone else. I have focused on my own lack rather than on His ability. I have seen the years slip by without any indication that any of it would come to pass.
I know this is just a work trip and I don’t know what God’s plan is, or how many more years will pass between now and the true fulfillment of that plan, but I repent of my doubt. I don’t know how or when or why, but what He has spoken over my life will come to pass, every word of it.
I want to encourage our readers. If God has given you a calling or a burden, or if things have been prophesied over your life, trust God to bring them to pass! We don’t know how long it will take, but if God has told you something, hang on to it! All things are in His hands and in His timing!
May you be blessed in 2013!
In His Love,