Tag Archive | Religion and Spirituality

Freed Hearts (aka A Heart To Forgive pt 2)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; ~Matthew 5:44

Disclaimer: Rebekah A had no clue that some of these events occurred when she wrote her post last night. It amazes me that God has given me the perfect opportunity to follow up on the thought she started yesterday!

This past weekend at the church conference I spoke of in my last two posts, God gave me THE most freeing event that I have ever had in my life.  Someone who wronged someone who was dear to me- I gave them a hug, told them I loved them, and thanked them for things they had done for me in my past.  Another had wronged both me and my family so completely and deeply I cannot begin to list it all- both because it is a vast list and especially since it is now all behind me (for I am looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, and if He could endure the cross, I can forget things that have hurt me and those I love (Hebrews 12:2) )- this person, I prayed God’s blessing over her and her family, I prayed God free her from fear and doubt, I prayed God bless her and keep her.

I think the biggest thing this past weekend though was that God freed me completely from my ex.  All weekend I felt like I had to pray a blessing over him despite EVERYTHING.  God told me that I had to forgive him and bless him and then leave him where he belongs- my past.  After the conference, on the surface I felt one way- victorious, loved by God, excited that my future was unfolding- but deeper down I felt I was spinning out of control like my car had done just a few days before.  I had survived seeing my ex from afar but it still brought to surface things that I tried to bury.  God wanted that OUT of my life though because as I mentioned in a previous post, a promise cannot live with an error and God wants me to be free to accept into my life the Isaac He has for me. And so, during a perfectly timed, God-written sermon, Jesus cleaned me out.  He told me at the alter that I had to go and text my ex that very moment:

I forgive you.  I pray you have a blessed rest of your life. 

So simple and yet so completely and utterly freeing.  I am SURE there is NO WAY that he isn’t ashamed of what he did.  There is no way that he can think of me and not feel shame- for he never acted in a Godly manner once things started falling apart.  However, because I prayed for him, fasted for him, and even sent that text- I can look back on this situation in my life and feel joy and peace.  I have won by being saved from tying myself to someone who would have only brought me down while he threw away the very thing that was praying and fasting blessings into his life.  I. Am. Free.

Dear Reader, 

I implore you to pray a blessing into the life of those who have hurt you and then leave it all where it belongs- in your past.  The sermon was about how through Jesus we have power (Acts 1:8). The preacher spoke of how this power gives us power to change how our past affects our current situations, power to fix our present, and even power to establish our future.  If you don’t have that power- I beg you to seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Know that salvation is based on the words of Peter who told of the salvation plan in Acts 2:38, whom Jesus earlier stated he would build his church upon (Matthew 16:18). Know that before we ever knew Him, He loved us so much that He died to pay for all the bad things we’ve done in our past (Romans 5:8). May God bless you all with freed hearts.

Rebekah M. 

The Hem of His Garment

 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; ~II Corinthians 4:7-9

Although my blog posts have many times been upbeat, it’s only because I have tried to give everything in God. All the pressures in my life have slowly been creating more and more of a storm until two nights ago when I spun out of control on a mountain road and hit the guard rail apparently twice.  I had a church conference to go to last night and I just knew that if I could just get to Jesus, my storm would calm.

This whole way, God has been providing little things to show me He’s with me. From random strangers telling me they felt God on me and would pray for me, to getting the car rental in time to even get to my hotel and pray for half an hour before service- after resting a bit at the hotel!!!

This God we serve is amazing and wonderful and I know, I know, I KNOW that last night- I touched the hem of His garment, He walked with me in the midst of the storm back into the boat and spoke peace into my life.

The enemy may have tried to take my life, but that just means all the more that I live for Jesus and Jesus alone!  May I be a light for Him in this dark world.  May I be a witness of all His wonders! Devil- you may have tried to destroy me because I said I was going lion hunting, but you couldn’t!!! God wouldn’t let you take my life because I have more work to do here so come what may, I know my God will provide!!! Better yet, I was able to tell the car rental guy about the awesome church I go to- so it was worth it to have this all happen if he and his girlfriend find our Savior!

Dear reader, 

Taste and see that the Lord is good and His mercy is everlasting! You may be perplexed, but don’t despair, God has a reason for everything when You are living for Him with all you’ve got (Romans 8:28)! You may be troubled on every side, but not distressed when You trust Him to work it all out!  You may have been persecuted, but you are not abandoned! Know that ALL things are in His hands.  That night (after being a bit human and saying that I was just so frustrated with everything and finishing up a pity party) I thanked God that He counted me strong enough to handle this.  Know this- that He will NEVER FORSAKE YOU NOR LEAVE YOU.  So go out there and be a light for Him! 

~Rebekah M. 

A New Heart

Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. ~Joel 2:12-13

Today marks my 18th day for a 21 day reading about fasting and that was part of the verse for the day.  I’m actually going on my 5th week of consecutive fasting and 8th overall since December.  I fasted in December because of that emotionally trying time- I thought God would work my situation out and He did… just not with the answer I thought He was going to at first.   This month however, I’ve been fasting because I felt God want me to go on a 40 day journey with Him.  To dedicate my first 40 days to Him and see what happens. To be a living sacrifice to Him and worship Him with my life. 

On this journey it’s been incredibly changing.  I’ve completely changed many of my habits- I haven’t touched hulu.com, I’ve barely watched any movies (except the Ultimate Gift and Facing the Giants), and so many things that used to matter to me (facebook, games on facebook, IMing/texting) have disappeared from my life and been replaced with Him.  Experts say that if you can get past week 5, you are much more likely to have created a habit that will stick. With God’s strength, I want to keep up this path I’m taking towards Him.  All my life I’ve known Jesus, He’s even used me for miracles and words of encouragement beyond what I should understand/know, and yet I lacked discipline towards Him.

A fundamental characteristic of mine is that I am created to push through things.  When I was in high school I helped create a yearly food drive that lasted long after I graduated, in college I started a program that continues to today, and there are many other instances in which I helped start something that was lasting.  It’s just who I am and what I’ve been created for… however, along with this comes a weakness to just start something and leave it behind- sometimes half finished.  This lack of discipline was because when I focus, I REALLY focus… but when I lose interest I quickly and completely lose interest and move on to the next thing that catches my eye.

God has been using this time in my life to mold me to gain discipline and to stick with things even when it isn’t so fun, even when I don’t feel 100% passionate about it.  There was a whole week in December in which I couldn’t feel Him. For a whole week I prayed three times a day and did it just because I knew He had told me to do so, but I felt nothing inside when I prayed.  And yet… unlike before… I actually still prayed! At the end of the week God came back strongly in my life and revealed things to me- not all very good!- but also that for the first time I was learning how to STAND in HIM.  I recently read a blog entry on wordpress about standing in Him and it was so perfect for that day. Most of my life I have HATED just standing.  I want to either leave or push forward but go stir-crazy just waiting on Him.  And yet… it seems He’s trying to teach me how to do just that even now.

And so I come to the point of today’s post- there are times where God wants us to stand and there are times where He moves us to action.  After my week of silence God broke me and showed me just how wrong I had been acting the last few months prior to.  Sure, I was going to church and even singing on the platform at times, but I had created a space for something beside Him in my heart and He was jealous.  My heart was ripped to shreds by the events of early/mid December and yet in that time God held my heart, He showed me how wrong some of my actions had been, and then He loved me back together… but into a NEW creature!

This God we serve is so full of love and mercy for us.  I’ll just say it now- I was in a destructive relationship.  We originally had been a couple for Him… but then slowly focused on each other instead of the One who had brought us together and the results were disastrous.  Less than two months after he told me he had picked out a ring and was just working to buy it, he dumped me in one of the most painful ways possible.  The Godly man who I fell in love with had started turning into a controlling, yelling person that I didn’t know but still had given my heart away to.  God told me I couldn’t dump him for all his life people had abandoned him and He wouldn’t let another person who could hear His voice do that to him… but with his actions he was slowly killing my spirit.  The first time he told me I was beautiful was the last day I ever saw him- the day he asked for a break.  Although we never did THAT sin, God had called me to a personal standard of not kissing until I married and I, wanting to please him more than God, gave in and then some.  I gave him almost everything of me and all he did was toss me away.  This God we serve though- He picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and created a new one.  One that is His and His alone.  One that He will NEVER throw away or mistaken for some cheap imitation instead of the jewel that He handcrafted. One that He will allow another to HELP hold, when we’re both ready.

I admit all this to tell you my dear readers that God loves you.  If you’ve done something that you know He isn’t pleased with- rend your heart  and find that not only will He take it and sew it back together- but with His love He will create a new one that is pure, holy, and a true treasure for someone to cherish in God’s timing. I pray that you all find the perfect peace, joy, and love that I have recently re-found and actually even felt on a deeper level in Jesus Christ when you give the bits of your heart to Him. God bless you all.

~Rebekah M.